This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses whether students should choose their subjects or focus on useful ones. While it addresses both views, coherence issues and a lack of logical flow hinder clarity. Understanding these feedback points can help improve your writing in future essays.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both views while providing the writer's opinion. However, coherence and cohesion are weak, with a lack of logical organization. Lexical resource and grammatical accuracy are limited due to frequent errors, affecting readability. Word count is 332, meeting the requirement.
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getting into the university is one of the supreme parts of someone's life" title="Correction: supreme parts of someone's life">supreme part in somoene's life , students need to be carefull choosing where and what they will study. The debate over student choice versus prescribed, useful study is multifaceted. Proponents of the former maintain that self-selection leads to higher engagement; nevertheless, critics point out that in an increasingly competitive world, a predominant focus on utilitarian subjects is paramount for long-term success
the idea that univrsity students should be free to choose their own subjects is very valid, a lot of student graduate from hight school looking for specific path that will lead them eventually to their dream job anf they want to select and choose what to study, they're chasing a vision and dream life they wish for themselves. in addition some people have passions, others are born being naturely good at something, we need to treat student like humans not machines we train to be benifet to the economy in the future, letting them explore they're passion is a way of letting them create and succed, they will enhoy their university journey and it will be not a weight they just need to carry .
in theother hand allowing sudents to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology is a pragmatic strategy to ensure that education remains aligned with the evolving demands of the global economy. In an era increasingly defined by digital transformation and industrial automation, subjects such as biotechnology, engineering, and data science provide students with the high-level technical proficiency required to secure employment in competitive markets. By prioritizing these "useful" disciplines, educational systems can minimize the gap between academic theory and professional application, ultimately reducing graduate unemployment.
in conclution those are two valid point of view, choosing their subject is an individual choice i feel like its only benificiall for the student only which is not bad but selecting specific and useful subjects is benificial to the global job market
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
14 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| somoene's | someone's |
| carefull | careful |
| univrsity | university |
| hight | high |
| anf | and |
| naturely | naturally |
| benifet | benefit |
| succed | succeed |
| enhoy | enjoy |
| theother | the other |
| sudents | students |
| in conclution | in conclusion |
| point of view | points of view |
| benificiall | beneficial |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| supreme part in somoene's life | supreme parts of someone's life | Incorrect preposition: 'part in' should be 'parts of' for correct usage |
| choosing where and what they will study | choosing where and what to study | Redundant future tense: 'will study' can be replaced by 'to study' for clarity |
| is very valid, a lot of student graduate | is very valid; a lot of students graduate | Comma splice: use a semicolon to separate two independent clauses |
| student graduate | students graduate | Subject-verb agreement: 'student' should be plural to match 'graduate' |
| we need to treat student like humans | we need to treat students like humans | Subject-verb agreement: 'student' should be plural to match 'humans' |
| let them explore they're passion | let them explore their passions | Incorrect word use: 'they're' should be 'their' for possession |
| a way of letting them create and succed | a way of letting them create and succeed | Singular form 'succeed' must match with plural usage 'create' |
| it will be not a weight | it will not be a weight | Word order: 'be not' should be 'not be' for correct usage |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| supreme | significant | Too informal; 'significant' is more appropriate for academic writing |
| enhoy their university journey | enjoy their university experience | The term 'journey' is replaceable with 'experience' for a more academic expression |
| a way of letting them create and succed | a method for allowing them to innovate and succeed | 'Create and succeed' is vague; 'innovate and succeed' provides clarity and precision |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The task response is adequate. The writer addresses both views on whether university students should choose their subjects or focus on useful ones, as per the question. Additionally, the opinion is stated.
Examples
The views are explored, such as arguing for freedom of choice and the benefits of focusing on science and technology courses.
How to Improve
To improve, the essay could elaborate more extensively on each view and provide more examples or evidence to support the arguments better.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The coherence and cohesion are weak, with ideas not clearly linked and inadequate use of cohesive devices, leading to logical inconsistencies.
Examples
Sentences like 'in theother hand allowing sudents' show poor transitions, and 'those are two valid point of view' weakens overall cohesion.
How to Improve
Enhance structure by using more paragraphing with topic sentences, and improve logical flow with appropriate linking words and cohesive devices.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Lexical resources are limited, and word choice is often incorrect, affecting expression clarity.
Examples
Words such as 'benifet,' 'naturely,' 'succed' indicate spelling errors, while 'benificiall' and 'enhoy' show a lack of appropriate vocabulary use.
How to Improve
Work on vocabulary range and spelling accuracy. Practice using more precise and varied vocabulary relevant to the topic.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammatical range and accuracy are limited, with frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and verb forms.
Examples
Errors include 'part in somoene's life,' 'student need,' and 'it's only benificiall.'
How to Improve
Improve sentence structure and grammar by practicing with more complex sentences and focusing on verb agreement, singular/plural forms, and punctuation.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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