This Band 5.5 IELTS essay addresses the discussion around university subjects. It highlights clarity and depth issues in the arguments presented. Although the essay meets the word count, the exploration of both views lacks detail, impacting overall clarity.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count (360 words) and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the development of the second view (studying only useful subjects) is limited, and language errors in spelling, grammar, and cohesion affect clarity. Overall, it demonstrates a band 5.5 level.
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There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people belive that certain subjects are more important than others, which is true. However, choosing the right field to pursue is far more important in individual and a larger perspective too. In this essay i will discuss the both views, and try to figureout which view is the correct approach.
free to choose their sub
Choosing the right path to pursue correlates with wisdom. And one of the major outcome of education is wisdom. Therefore, this is often seen as the first hardle to overcome as a learner. Additionally, learners can grow effortlessly with their own field of study if they find it interesting enough. This leads to have a long successful career on that particullar field.
For example, a research conducted by psychologist at University of Atlanta, USA says that, there is a certain level of success that meant to be achivhed only by those; who pursue that field of study from their own interest and passion over anything.
In contrast, it may seem like a good idea to pick significantly rewarding subjects but in the long run it fails. People often loose their interest on it, which leads to lesser efferts and dedications towards that particular subject. For instance, if taking a subject without any individual's taste on it was successful, the world would have been totally different form the current one that we live in; it would not be as interesting as it is right now.
I strongly believe, learners should choose their desired field to pursue for their future and the future of the world as well. Otherwise, learners would rather try random studying fields and fail.
In conclusion, we should prioritize our own interest, passion and purpose over choosing paths that may seem significantly better. This will not only be beneficial for individual perspective but for the creative growth and history to the humankind.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
8 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| belive | believe |
| figureout | figure out |
| hardle | hurdle |
| particullar | particular |
| achivhed | achieved |
| loose | lose |
| efferts | efforts |
| form | from |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| in individual and a larger perspective too | from both an individual and a larger perspective | Incorrect preposition and article use; 'from' is more appropriate, and 'a' should be omitted for parallel structure. |
| In this essay i will discuss the both views | In this essay, I will discuss both views | Capitalization: 'I' should be capitalized. Article misuse: 'the' is unnecessary before 'both views'. |
| And one of the major outcome | And one of the major outcomes | Noun number: 'one of' requires a plural noun, so 'outcomes' is correct. |
| This leads to have a long successful career | This leads to having a long successful career | Verb form: after 'leads to', a gerund (having) or noun phrase is required, not an infinitive. |
| on that particullar field | in that particular field | Preposition misuse: 'in' is used for fields of study, not 'on'. |
| a research conducted by psychologist at University of Atlanta | research conducted by psychologists at the University of Atlanta | Article misuse: 'research' is uncountable, so 'a' should be omitted. Noun number: 'psychologist' should be plural or preceded by 'a'. Article needed before 'University of Atlanta'. |
| that meant to be achivhed only by those; | that is meant to be achieved only by those | Verb tense: 'is meant' is correct for present tense. Punctuation: semicolon is incorrect; use a comma or no punctuation here. |
| who pursue that field of study from their own interest | who pursue that field of study out of their own interest | Preposition misuse: 'out of' is more idiomatic for indicating motivation. |
| People often loose their interest on it | People often lose their interest in it | Preposition misuse: 'interest in' is the correct collocation. |
| which leads to lesser efferts and dedications | which leads to less effort and dedication | Quantifier misuse: 'less' is used with uncountable nouns like 'effort' and 'dedication', not 'lesser'. Noun number: 'dedication' is uncountable. |
| I strongly believe, learners should choose | I strongly believe that learners should choose | Punctuation: comma splice; use 'that' to introduce the clause or remove the comma. |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| figureout | determine | Too informal for academic writing; 'determine' is more precise and appropriate. |
| grow effortlessly | develop more easily | Vague; 'develop more easily' is clearer and more academic. |
| a research | research | 'Research' is uncountable; use 'research' without 'a' or replace with 'a study'. |
| says | states | Informal verb; 'states' is more formal and suitable for academic contexts. |
| lesser efferts | less effort | Incorrect quantifier; 'less' is used with uncountable nouns, and 'effort' is uncountable. |
| dedications | dedication | Uncountable noun; 'dedication' should not be pluralized in this context. |
| random studying fields | arbitrary fields of study | Informal and vague; 'arbitrary fields of study' is more precise and academic. |
| history to the humankind | history of humankind | Incorrect preposition; 'of' is used to show possession or relation. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
5.5
Evaluation
The essay presents both views, but the argument for studying only useful subjects (e.g., science and technology) is not fully explored. The opinion is clear (students should choose their desired field), but the discussion lacks depth and specific examples for the opposing view. Some points, such as the world being 'less interesting,' are not directly relevant.
Examples
For example, the second view is only briefly mentioned: 'it may seem like a good idea to pick significantly rewarding subjects but in the long run it fails.' No detailed reasoning or examples are given for why some people advocate for useful subjects.
How to Improve
Fully develop both views by explaining the rationale behind each. For the 'useful subjects' view, discuss benefits like job prospects, economic growth, or societal needs. Provide balanced examples and ensure all points directly relate to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is an irrelevant fragment ('free to choose their sub') that disrupts flow. Cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'However,' 'In contrast,' 'In conclusion'), but connections between ideas are sometimes weak, and paragraphing could be more logical.
Examples
The random line 'free to choose their sub' appears after the introduction without context. Also, the transition between paragraphs is abrupt, and the conclusion repeats ideas without synthesizing them effectively.
How to Improve
Remove irrelevant text. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops one main idea. Use a wider range of linking words to show relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Plan the essay structure before writing.
Lexical Resource
5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited with frequent spelling errors and incorrect word choices, which can cause difficulty for the reader. There is some attempt at varied vocabulary, but errors are noticeable.
Examples
Misspellings: 'belive' (believe), 'hardle' (hurdle), 'particullar' (particular), 'achivhed' (achieved), 'loose' (lose), 'efferts' (efforts), 'dedications' (dedication), 'form' (from). Awkward phrasing: 'leads to have a long successful career' should be 'leads to having a long, successful career.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts and practicing word forms. Use a dictionary or spell-check to correct errors. Focus on using precise and appropriate words for the context. Review common IELTS topic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5
Evaluation
Grammar errors are prevalent, affecting clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with attempts at complex sentences that contain errors.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'one of the major outcome' should be 'outcomes.' Article omission: 'in individual and a larger perspective' should be 'from an individual and a larger perspective.' Punctuation: incorrect use of semicolon in 'only by those; who.' Verb form: 'leads to have' should be 'leads to having.'
How to Improve
Practice grammatical structures, especially articles, subject-verb agreement, and verb patterns. Use punctuation correctly. Write complex sentences with clauses, but ensure they are error-free. Proofread essays to identify and correct mistakes.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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