This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses whether university students should choose their own subjects or focus on future-oriented studies. The analysis reveals limited examples and superficial reasoning, which can hinder clarity and cohesiveness. Improving these aspects can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (337 words) and addresses the prompt by discussing both views and stating a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial, with limited specific examples or deeper reasoning. Coherence is adequate but transitions are basic. Lexical range is narrow and contains awkward expressions, while grammatical errors occasionally affect clarity. Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory but not strong command of the task.
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I believe that students should be free to choose their own subjects rather than being allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future. Even though both views have their own positives and negatives, students choosing their own subjects would have a better impact on their educational path.
Firstly, to discuss the idea of the students only being allowed to study subjects looking at the future scope, such a plan that thinks of a visionary of equipping students for the future, considering the current market scenario, is workable. This would keep the students updated on the latest technologies and upgrades in science to keep a flexible place of learning. However, the major limitation of this kind of system would be that students who are actively interested in topics like this would only have benefits while learning. Students with different views and interests in courses and learning would face difficulties in adapting to this teaching-learning environment, and would not learn these topics with dedication, causing a depletion in their results and educational path.
Now, coming to students having the free will to choose their own subjects, this idea would allow the students to make decisions independently. When the students choose their subjects, they would have the freedom to choose them based on their interests and needs to build their own career. That being done, the students would have their own vision and executable plan to carry forward their academic and non-academic careers. The main limitation of this type of system would be that some courses they choose might not be in the current trend. However, considering the vast outside world and the job market, they would have a good career since the students are learning the courses with passion and involvement.
In conclusion, I support the opinion that students choosing their own subjects in universities would be a better option than imposing constraints on learning because I believe that the teaching-learning process should be to improve learning by also considering the proper development of the student.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
1 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| such a plan that thinks of a visionary of equipping students | such a plan that envisions equipping students | The phrase is ungrammatical: 'plan' cannot 'think', and 'visionary' is a person; use 'envisions' or 'has a vision of'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| flexible place of learning | flexible learning environment | 'Place' is vague; 'environment' is more precise and academic. |
| depletion in their results | decline in their performance | 'Depletion' is not typically used for results; 'decline' or 'deterioration' is more appropriate. |
| vast outside world | broader world | 'Outside world' is informal; 'broader world' or 'external environment' is more academic. |
| proper development of the student | holistic development of the student | 'Proper' is vague; 'holistic' is a more precise academic term in education. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay covers both views: the view that students should only study useful future-oriented subjects and the view that they should have free choice. The writer's own opinion is clearly stated and supported. However, the discussion lacks depth—the first view is only briefly mentioned with a single positive and a single negative point, without concrete examples or elaboration. The second view is also not fully developed. The response is relevant but not fully detailed.
Examples
For the first view, the essay says 'such a plan that thinks of a visionary of equipping students for the future' but does not explain how this works in practice. For the second view, it mentions 'some courses they choose might not be in the current trend' without specific examples.
How to Improve
To improve, provide specific examples for each view, such as naming science/technology fields (e.g., AI, renewable energy) for the first view, and arts/humanities for the second. Elaborate on the consequences of each approach with real-world scenarios to strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure: introduction, first view, second view, conclusion. Paragraphing is logical. However, transitions are basic (e.g., 'Firstly, to discuss...', 'Now, coming to...'). Cohesive devices are limited, and some ideas feel abruptly connected. The flow could be smoother.
Examples
The shift from the first view to the second view uses 'Now, coming to students having the free will...' which is informal and lacks a linking phrase like 'In contrast' or 'On the other hand.' Within paragraphs, ideas are listed without clear connectors.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'However,' 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' 'As a result'). Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that sentences logically follow one another. Practice using linking words to compare and contrast views.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is repetitive and lacks variety. Frequently used words include 'subjects,' 'students,' 'learning,' 'choose.' Some phrasing is awkward or imprecise (e.g., 'a plan that thinks of a visionary,' 'depletion in their results,' 'positives and negatives'). There is little use of less common or topic-specific vocabulary.
Examples
Instead of 'positives and negatives,' use 'advantages and disadvantages' or 'benefits and drawbacks.' 'Depletion in their results' could be 'decline in academic performance.' 'Flexible place of learning' is unclear; perhaps 'adaptive learning environment.'
How to Improve
Expand your academic vocabulary by learning synonyms for common words (e.g., 'choose' → 'select,' 'opt for,' 'pursue'). Read sample IELTS essays to see how topic-specific terms (e.g., 'curriculum,' 'vocational training,' 'innovative fields') are used. Practice paraphrasing.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay uses mainly simple and compound sentences with occasional complex structures. There are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity. For example, 'such a plan that thinks of a visionary of equipping students' is grammatically confused. Subject-verb agreement is generally correct, but word order and phrasing are sometimes problematic.
Examples
'students who are actively interested in topics like this would only have benefits while learning' – could be rephrased as 'students with a genuine interest in such topics would benefit the most.' 'causing a depletion in their results and educational path' – 'results' is vague, and 'educational path' is oddly used.
How to Improve
Review complex sentence structures, especially relative clauses and conditionals. Proofread to eliminate awkward phrasing. Practice writing sentences with a clear subject and verb. Work on using gerunds and infinitives correctly (e.g., 'students choosing their own subjects' is correct, but 'to choose' might be better in some contexts).
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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