This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses urban funding, addressing healthcare and cultural investments. The essay highlights coherence issues and uneven argument coverage, impacting clarity and structure.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· City Life Β· 40 min
Some people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (296 words) and addresses both views as required. However, the discussion is unbalanced: the first body paragraph focuses heavily on healthcare with a specific example (Barcelona), while the second paragraph on arts/culture is underdeveloped and ends abruptly. The writer's opinion is stated but not fully justified. Frequent spelling, grammatical, and lexical errors significantly affect clarity and accuracy. Coherence is weak due to poor paragraph structure and abrupt transitions. Overall, the essay demonstrates limited control of language and organisation, placing it at Band 5.5 for Task Response and Band 5.0 for the other criteria.
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Nowdays lot of people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life,In my opinion both important for our life buth focusing in healthcare and education,in the same time should take care for the other aspects.
On the one hand,the essential thing in every city its his hospitals abd clinics level and quality,therefore governments should take care about it,and put this sector as primary one,because nowdays the dieases have been increased in short-period due to unhealthy food and the familiarity of fast food in addition small snacks that contains a huge quantity of sugar,moreover the work conditions nowdays make people more stressful,therefore we should enhance health sector and being ready to face any diease,so when the governments prepare themselves to this cases,the city will decrease and operate people quickly than usual,enhancing health sector requires a significant funds and a complex plan to make the healthcare as primary sector in the city,for example nowdays its familiar that all football players when got injured,they went to barcelona to make surgery due to barceloma prepraing and employs best doctors.
On the other hand,healthcare its essential but thats cant mean ignoring culture and entertaiment.
culture and entertainment its essentially to the cities economy and tours,for instance although bursa and istanbul nowdays its developments cities,howevet they protect the culture and old buildings in both cities,the visitors visit istanbul,first they went the museums,in addition visiting huge mosqes like ayasofya and sultan ahmad mosque/
To summarize,both essentially for city,but in my opinion country should divide his focusing into both and enhancing them and success in them to earn monet from tourisim also improving healthcare.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
14 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| Nowdays | Nowadays |
| buth | but |
| dieases | diseases |
| abd | and |
| diease | disease |
| prepraing | preparing |
| barceloma | Barcelona |
| howevet | however |
| mosqes | mosques |
| tourisim | tourism |
| entertaiment | entertainment |
| cant | can't |
| thats | that's |
| monet | money |
Grammatical Mistakes
15 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| In my opinion both important for our life | In my opinion, both are important for our lives | Missing verb 'are' and plural 'lives' for general reference |
| buth focusing in healthcare and education | but focusing on healthcare and education | Spelling error 'buth' and incorrect preposition 'in' should be 'on' |
| the essential thing in every city its his hospitals abd clinics level and quality | the essential thing in every city is the level and quality of its hospitals and clinics | Possessive error 'its his', missing verb 'is', incorrect word order |
| governments should take care about it | governments should take care of it | Preposition misuse: 'take care of' is the correct collocation |
| the dieases have been increased in short-period | diseases have increased in a short period | Unnecessary passive 'have been increased', missing article 'a' |
| in addition small snacks that contains a huge quantity of sugar | in addition to small snacks that contain a huge quantity of sugar | Missing preposition 'to' and subject-verb agreement: 'snacks' plural requires 'contain' |
| moreover the work conditions nowdays make people more stressful | moreover, the work conditions nowadays make people more stressed | Missing comma, 'stressful' describes things, 'stressed' describes people |
| therefore we should enhance health sector | therefore, we should enhance the health sector | Missing comma and definite article 'the' before 'health sector' |
| when the governments prepare themselves to this cases | when governments prepare themselves for these cases | Incorrect preposition 'to', demonstrative 'this' should be plural 'these' |
| the city will decrease and operate people quickly than usual | the city will treat people more quickly than usual | Vague verb 'decrease', 'operate' without object, missing 'more' for comparative |
| enhancing health sector requires a significant funds | enhancing the health sector requires significant funds | Missing article 'the', 'funds' is uncountable so no 'a' |
| for example nowdays its familiar that all football players when got injured,they went to barcelona to make surgery | for example, nowadays it is common that all football players, when injured, go to Barcelona to have surgery | Spelling, 'its' -> 'it is', incorrect tense 'went' -> 'go', 'make surgery' -> 'have surgery' |
| On the other hand,healthcare its essential but thats cant mean ignoring culture and entertaiment. | On the other hand, healthcare is essential, but that doesn't mean ignoring culture and entertainment. | Contraction errors: 'its' -> 'is', 'thats' -> 'that's', 'cant' -> 'can't', spelling 'entertaiment' |
| culture and entertainment its essentially to the cities economy and tours | culture and entertainment are essential to the city's economy and tourism | Subject-verb agreement: 'are' not 'is'; 'essentially' -> 'essential'; possessive 'city's'; 'tours' -> 'tourism' |
| for instance although bursa and istanbul nowdays its developments cities, howevet they protect the culture | for instance, although Bursa and Istanbul nowadays are developing cities, they protect the culture | Verb 'are' missing, 'developments' -> 'developing', remove redundant 'howevet' |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| familiarity of fast food | prevalence of fast food | 'Familiarity' suggests knowledge; 'prevalence' means common occurrence |
| make people more stressful | make people more stressed | 'Stressful' describes situations; 'stressed' describes how people feel |
| operate people | treat patients | 'Operate' requires 'on' and is too specific; 'treat' is broader and more appropriate |
| the city will decrease | the city will improve efficiency | 'Decrease' is vague and unclear; context suggests faster treatment, not reduction of the city |
| make surgery | have surgery | Correct collocation is 'have surgery'; 'make surgery' is unidiomatic |
| protect the culture | preserve the culture | 'Preserve' is more precise for maintaining heritage; 'protect' is too general |
| focusing into both | focus on both | Preposition error: 'focus on' is the correct collocation |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, but the coverage is uneven. The first view (essential services) is explained with some detail and an example, while the second view (arts/culture) is only briefly mentioned with a vague example. The writer's opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and conclusion, but it lacks development or reasoned justification. The response is relevant to the prompt but does not fully explore the complexity of the issue.
Examples
The first body paragraph focuses on healthcare with an example of football players going to Barcelona for surgery. The second body paragraph mentions Istanbul and Bursa but fails to explain how investment in culture is equally important for quality of life.
How to Improve
Provide more balanced coverage: devote a similar amount of detail to both views. Develop the second paragraph with specific reasons why arts and culture enhance urban life (e.g., tourism, community wellbeing). Ensure your opinion is supported by clear reasoning throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure (introduction, two body paragraphs, conclusion) but lacks logical flow. Transitions between ideas are awkward or missing; for example, the shift from healthcare to culture is abrupt. Paragraphs are not well-organised internally, and the conclusion simply repeats the opinion without summarising key points. Cohesive devices are limited and sometimes misused.
Examples
The first sentence of the second body paragraph ('On the other hand, healthcare its essential but thats cant mean ignoring culture...') is a run-on and confusing. The example about Istanbul is cut off mid-sentence, and there is no linking back to the main argument.
How to Improve
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Improve paragraph structure by presenting one main idea per paragraph with supporting details. Use a range of linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', 'As a result') to connect sentences and ideas. End with a strong conclusion that synthesises the discussion.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is basic and often inaccurate. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'Nowdays', 'buth', 'hospitals', 'dieases', 'prepraing', 'mosqes', 'tourisim'). Word choices are often inappropriate (e.g., 'familiarity' instead of 'prevalence', 'huge quantity of sugar' instead of 'high sugar content'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is no use of less common or idiomatic expressions.
Examples
'Nowdays the dieases have been increased' β should be 'Nowadays, diseases have increased'. 'Barceloma prepraing and employs best doctors' β unclear; likely meant 'Barcelona prepares and employs the best doctors'.
How to Improve
Study and practise spelling common academic words. Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms for key terms (e.g., 'allocate', 'essential', 'enhance'). Use a dictionary to check collocations (e.g., 'invest in', 'fund public services'). Read model IELTS essays to see natural academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that interfere with meaning. Subject-verb agreement is often incorrect (e.g., 'the dieases have been increased'), articles are missing or misused (e.g., 'in his hospitals'), and sentence structures are repetitive and sometimes incomplete. Complex sentences are attempted but poorly formed (e.g., 'in my opinion both important for our life buth focusing in healthcare').
Examples
'healthcare its essential' β 'healthcare is essential'; 'thats cant mean' β 'that cannot mean'; 'the visitors visit istanbul,first they went the museums' β tense shift and missing preposition.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar: subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles (a/an/the), and verb tenses. Practise writing complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although healthcare is vital, governments should also invest in culture because...'). Proofread your work carefully to catch obvious errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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