This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the positive and negative aspects of advertising. While the essay meets the word count, it struggles with coherence and vocabulary precision, which detracts from the overall clarity. Understanding these issues can help improve future writing strategies.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· Advertising Β· 40 min
Advertising is everywhere; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some argue that advertising is a constructive element of our lives, while others argue that it is a bad component of our lives. Discuss both points of view and express your own.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion, meeting the minimum word count (329 words). However, it is limited by underdeveloped arguments, frequent grammatical errors, basic vocabulary, and weak coherence, which reduce overall clarity and impact.
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there is no denying fact that these days viral" title="Correction: advertising has become viral">advertising become viral in a good and bad way. while its commonly held belief that advertising have a good impact to the person routine. there is also, an argument that say its frustrating person live. this essay will analyze topics from both points of view and express my own opinion.
to begin with, there are many advantages regard advertising. in other words, many products person cannot know if their are exits. to illustrate that, for example, many mobile phones in the field but we only know few of them and their specification all that because their good advertisement to their products. in addition to that, advertisement enhance our life's in a way that , some products we see it not beneficial to our daily routine like for example a dish washer that in past had no any concern to people to use it. but when companies began to advertise on and show their benefits to the daily routine it embrace our brain and so many people buy it to foster their life quality.
moreover, another positive impact is eligibility in a fast way. for instance , people don't face difficulties to search to specific products because nearly all products having their commercial and show their benefits so they don't need to go and search and ask someone and that way earn much time that spend in other good things.
conversely, there are some drawbacks of advertisement, its possible to say that , made illusion to people when advertise especially if the advertise good and touch their heart so it will raise need in brain of people to buy it. more over, spending much money on things people don't use or need even in daily routine.
in sum up, there is no easy question to answer it. however, on balance , i tend to believe advertising had their positive and negative impact to our daily life but their benefits outweigh their disadvantages
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| exits | exist |
| life's | lives |
| dish washer | dishwasher |
| more over | moreover |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| advertising become viral | advertising has become viral | Subject-verb agreement: 'advertising' is singular and requires 'has become' for present perfect tense. |
| while its commonly held belief | while it is a commonly held belief | Contraction error: 'its' should be 'it's' for 'it is', and missing article 'a' before 'commonly held belief'. |
| advertising have a good impact | advertising has a good impact | Subject-verb agreement: 'advertising' is singular, so 'has' instead of 'have'. |
| to the person routine | on a person's routine | Preposition error: 'impact on' is correct, and possessive 'person's' is needed. |
| if their are exits | if they exist | Homophone error: 'their' should be 'they' for the subject, and verb form 'exist' instead of 'exits'. |
| advertisement enhance our life's | advertisements enhance our lives | Subject-verb agreement: 'advertisements' is plural, so 'enhance' is correct, and 'lives' is the plural form, not possessive 'life's'. |
| had no any concern | had no concern | Redundant: 'no any' is incorrect; use 'no' alone. |
| it embrace our brain | it embraces our thinking | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' is singular, so 'embraces' is needed, and 'thinking' is more appropriate than 'brain'. |
| people don't face difficulties to search to specific products | people do not face difficulties in searching for specific products | Preposition error: 'difficulties in' and 'searching for' are correct collocations. |
| products having their commercial | products have their commercials | Verb tense error: present simple 'have' is needed instead of 'having', and 'commercials' should be plural. |
Vocabulary Improvements
10 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| viral | widespread | Informal; in academic context, 'widespread' is more appropriate than 'viral'. |
| good and bad way | positive and negative ways | Vague; 'positive and negative' is more precise than 'good and bad'. |
| person routine | personal routine | Incorrect collocation; use 'personal' as an adjective to modify 'routine'. |
| frustrating person live | frustrating a person's life | Wrong word form: 'live' is a verb; the noun 'life' is needed, with possessive 'person's'. |
| eligibility in a fast way | efficiency quickly | Wrong word: 'eligibility' means qualification; 'efficiency' is more suitable, and 'quickly' is better than 'in a fast way'. |
| earn much time | save time | Incorrect collocation: 'save time' is standard; 'earn' is not used with time in this context. |
| touch their heart | appeal to their emotions | Informal; 'appeal to emotions' is more academic than 'touch their heart'. |
| raise need in brain | create a desire | Informal and vague; 'create a desire' is clearer and more precise. |
| foster their life quality | improve their quality of life | Incorrect word choice: 'foster' means to encourage; 'improve' is better for 'quality of life'. |
| in sum up | in summary | Phrase error: 'in summary' or 'to sum up' is correct; 'in sum up' is incorrect. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The response covers both positive and negative views on advertising and states an opinion, but the arguments are not fully extended or supported with detailed examples. The development of ideas is somewhat superficial.
Examples
For example, advantages such as informing about products (e.g., mobile phones) and saving time are mentioned, but lack elaboration on how these benefits concretely affect lives. The drawback of creating 'illusion' is noted but not explored in depth.
How to Improve
Expand each point with specific, real-world examples and explain the consequences or mechanisms. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provides evidence or reasoning to support it.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but cohesion is weak due to poor linking and awkward transitions between sentences. Paragraphing is present but not always logical.
Examples
Phrases like 'to begin with' and 'conversely' are used, but within paragraphs, sentences are disjointed (e.g., 'in addition to that, advertisement enhance our life's in a way that , some products we see it not beneficial...').
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'as a result') appropriately. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and follows a logical sequence of ideas.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, with errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. This impedes clarity and sophistication.
Examples
Incorrect use of 'viral' (should be 'pervasive' or 'widespread'), 'eligibility' (likely meant 'efficiency' or 'convenience'), 'life's' (should be 'lives'), and 'foster' (used awkwardly).
How to Improve
Learn topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'marketing,' 'consumer behavior,' 'persuasive techniques') and practice using words in context. Use a dictionary to verify meanings and spellings.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Frequent grammatical errors occur throughout, affecting sentence structure, verb tenses, articles, prepositions, and punctuation. This leads to difficulty in understanding.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement errors ('advertising have' instead of 'has'), tense errors ('advertising become viral' instead of 'has become'), article omissions ('a good impact to the person routine'), and sentence fragments ('more over, spending much money on things people don't use...').
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, tenses, and article usage. Practice writing complex sentences with correct punctuation. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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