This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses advertising and its dual impacts. However, it contains several language errors that hinder clarity, including grammatical mistakes and limited vocabulary. Understanding these issues is crucial for improving your writing skills.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· Advertising Β· 40 min
Advertising is everywhere; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some argue that advertising is a constructive element of our lives, while others argue that it is a bad component of our lives. Discuss both points of view and express your own.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 267 words and addresses the topic by discussing both views and expressing an opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, and there are frequent language errors in grammar, vocabulary, and cohesion, which limit clarity and sophistication. Overall, the performance aligns with Band 5.0.
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There is no denying the fact that advertising is a crucial thing. While it is a commonly held belief that advertising is essential for grow up alot of companies, there is also an argument that it has a negative effect in our lives. This assay will analyse this topic from both points of views and express my opinion.
On one hand, advertising is the cause of success in many companies. In other words, it introduce a new projects to the people, which can help them to be updated for all facilities of life. In addition, it is a creative way for insure reaching products to the target categories of people. For example, avertising may use artificial intelligence, grafic design and expert employees, so it would be renewable in its methods of advertising.
On other hands, it consider as a distractive tool. sometimes it affects your decision in a wrong way. Also, some advertisements may be fake , contain wrong or exaggration in the quality and effectiveness of the products. moreover, some people consider it as an annoying thing. For instance, repeated many times" title="Correction: some advertisements are repeated many times">some advertisements repeated many times almost everywhere such as on TV, walls of streets and large screens, etc.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that there is a significant effect to the advertising to the success of companies and benefits the consumers also. Nevertherless, there is a negative side that distropt many people so carefull use of this importany tool br both companies and consumers ensure the comfy for the consumers and success to the companies.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
11 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| assay | essay |
| alot | a lot |
| avertising | advertising |
| grafic | graphic |
| exaggration | exaggeration |
| distropt | disrupts |
| carefull | careful |
| importany | important |
| br | by |
| comfy | comfort |
| Nevertherless | Nevertheless |
Grammatical Mistakes
15 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| for grow up alot of companies | for the growth of many companies | Incorrect verb phrase; 'grow up' is for personal development, use 'growth' for companies. |
| has a negative effect in our lives | has a negative effect on our lives | Preposition error; use 'on' with 'effect'. |
| from both points of views | from both points of view | Plural form error; 'point of view' is singular, and 'points of view' is plural, but 'both points of view' is correct. |
| it introduce a new projects | it introduces new projects | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' requires 'introduces', and 'a new projects' should be 'new projects'. |
| for insure reaching products | to ensure that products reach | Incorrect use of 'for insure'; use 'to ensure' with infinitive. |
| On other hands | On the other hand | Fixed phrase error; should be 'on the other hand'. |
| it consider as a distractive tool | it is considered a distracting tool | Passive voice error; should be 'is considered'. |
| sometimes it affects your decision | sometimes it affects people's decisions | Pronoun consistency; 'your' is informal, use 'people's' for general statements. |
| contain wrong or exaggration | contain false information or exaggerations | Grammar and word form; 'wrong' is vague, and 'exaggration' should be 'exaggerations'. |
| moreover, some people consider it as an annoying thing. | moreover, some people consider it annoying. | Redundant phrasing; remove 'as an annoying thing'. |
| some advertisements repeated many times | some advertisements are repeated many times | Passive voice needed; advertisements are repeated. |
| walls of streets | street walls | Awkward phrasing; use 'street walls' for clarity. |
| there is a significant effect to the advertising to the success | advertising has a significant effect on the success | Preposition and article errors; 'effect on' not 'effect to', and remove unnecessary 'the'. |
| benefits the consumers also | also benefits consumers | Word order; 'also' should precede the verb. |
| so carefull use of this importany tool br both companies and consumers ensure the comfy for the consumers and success to the companies. | so careful use of this important tool by both companies and consumers ensures comfort for consumers and success for companies. | Multiple errors in spelling, grammar, and structure; corrected for clarity and correctness. |
Vocabulary Improvements
12 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| crucial thing | crucial aspect | 'Thing' is vague; use 'aspect' for more precision. |
| grow up | grow | 'Grow up' is for personal development; for companies, use 'grow' or 'expand'. |
| alot | many | Informal; use 'many' in academic writing. |
| facilities of life | amenities of life | 'Facilities' is not standard here; 'amenities' or 'conveniences' is better. |
| for insure | to ensure | 'Insure' is for insurance; 'ensure' means to make sure. |
| target categories of people | target audience | Wordy; 'target audience' is more concise and standard. |
| distractive tool | distracting tool | 'Distractive' is less common; 'distracting' is preferred. |
| wrong way | negative way | 'Wrong' is vague; 'negative' is more specific. |
| fake | false | Informal; use 'false' or 'misleading' in academic context. |
| annoying thing | annoyance | 'Thing' is vague; use 'annoyance' for a noun. |
| repeated many times | repeated frequently | 'Many times' is informal; 'frequently' is more academic. |
| comfy | comfort | Informal slang; use 'comfort'. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, ideas are not fully extended or supported with detailed examples, leading to a superficial discussion.
Examples
For the positive view, it states advertising helps companies succeed and uses creative methods like AI, but does not explain how these benefit consumers. For the negative view, it mentions distraction and fake ads but lacks elaboration on consequences.
How to Improve
Develop each point with specific examples (e.g., a real advertising campaign) and explain impacts more deeply. Ensure the opinion is clearly supported with reasons.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
There is a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesive devices are sometimes misused, and paragraph linking could be improved. Spelling errors disrupt the flow.
Examples
Incorrect phrase: 'On other hands' should be 'On the other hand'. The conclusion has errors like 'distropt' and 'comfy', which affect readability. Paragraphs are present but transitions between ideas are weak.
How to Improve
Use accurate transition words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast'). Proofread for spelling and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that links to the next.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, with frequent spelling errors and informal terms. Some attempts at less common words are made but with mistakes.
Examples
Misspellings: 'grow up alot' for 'growth of many', 'insure' for 'ensure', 'exaggration' for 'exaggeration', 'distropt' for 'disrupts', 'comfy' for 'comfort'. Inappropriate word choices like 'assay' for 'essay'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to advertising (e.g., 'marketing', 'consumer awareness'). Use a dictionary for correct spelling and avoid informal language. Practice using synonyms accurately.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammar errors are frequent, affecting clarity. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with mistakes in verb agreement, articles, punctuation, and word forms.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'it introduce' should be 'it introduces', 'it consider as' should be 'it is considered as'. Punctuation errors: 'fake , contain wrong' should be 'fake and contain wrong information'. Awkward phrasing: 'there is a significant effect to the advertising'.
How to Improve
Practice complex sentences with correct clauses. Focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation. Review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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