Achieving a Band 5 in the IELTS Writing Test can be challenging, as seen in this essay discussing city funding. Key issues include unclear organization and frequent grammatical errors that impact clarity. Understanding these feedback points can help students improve their writing skills and achieve a higher band score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · City Life · 40 min
Some people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic and discusses both views, but it falls short of the minimum word count (244 words vs. required 250) which limits the development of ideas. The argument is repetitive and lacks clear organization, with frequent grammatical errors and informal language that reduce clarity.
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I can't understand the view on both sides and definitely as in city government you have to allocate public fundings to essential urban services such as healthcare education and infrastructure this is the base of the city that wants to prosper because you need people to not worry about stuff" title="Correction: that basic stuff">those basic stuff before they can develop their own whether it's business or their own businesses or families now this is not the only thing and actually investment in arts culture and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life and besides of justice like feeding your family and living healthy you need to enrich your own spiritual life and without the infrastructure of these or the like city events or activities concerts stuff stuff like that if the city doesn't have these kind of elements there people will get bored and people will leave the city the end so both of these both of the sides are really really important now from my own perspective you need to have both and you need to have the infrastructure in place first then you can talk about entertainments about culture about arts otherwise it's just going to be not possible to get those or to get the quality life without the basics of the basic elements let's say like electricity like clean water like good education and you need to bring the crime rate down with those before people can enjoy their life
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| fundings | funding |
| entertainments | entertainment |
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| public fundings | public funding | Funding is uncountable and should not be pluralized. |
| those basic stuff | that basic stuff | Stuff is uncountable; use singular determiner 'that'. |
| these kind of elements | these kinds of elements | Plural demonstrative 'these' requires plural noun 'kinds'. |
| the quality life | a quality life | Indefinite article needed before 'quality life' or use 'the quality of life'. |
| enjoy their life | enjoy their lives | Plural possessive 'their' requires plural noun 'lives'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| stuff | activities | Informal and vague; 'activities' is more precise. |
| really really important | essential | Informal repetition; 'essential' is academic and concise. |
| the end | in conclusion | Phrasing is abrupt and informal; use standard transitional phrase. |
| like | such as | Informal filler; 'such as' is more appropriate for academic writing. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay attempts to discuss both views and gives an opinion, but the response is underdeveloped. The introduction is unclear ('I can't understand the view on both sides'), and the argument jumps between points without sufficient explanation or examples. The word count is below 250, which penalizes task achievement.
Examples
The writer states 'both of these both of the sides are really really important' but does not expand on why each view is valid. The opinion is given at the end but lacks depth.
How to Improve
Write a clear introduction outlining both perspectives, then dedicate separate paragraphs to each view with specific reasons and examples. Ensure the essay reaches at least 250 words. Develop your opinion with clear justification.
Coherence & Cohesion4.5
Evaluation
The essay is a single block of text with no paragraph breaks, making it difficult to follow the logical flow. Cohesive devices are mostly absent, and transitions are informal (e.g., 'now', 'stuff like that'). Ideas are repeated without clear progression.
Examples
The entire response is one long paragraph. Phrases like 'now this is not the only thing' and 'so both of these' are used but do not effectively link ideas.
How to Improve
Structure the essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, view 1, view 2, your opinion, and conclusion. Use linking words such as 'firstly', 'on the one hand', 'in contrast', 'therefore' to guide the reader.
Lexical Resource4.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Frequent use of informal and vague terms like 'stuff', 'basic stuff', 'really really important' reduces lexical range. Some topic-specific terms are present (e.g., 'infrastructure', 'enhancing quality of urban life') but overall the word choice is basic.
Examples
Phrases such as 'city events or activities concerts stuff' are imprecise and informal. The word 'fundings' is incorrect (should be 'funds').
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by using synonyms (e.g., 'essential services', 'public spending', 'cultural investment'). Avoid informal language; instead of 'stuff', use specific nouns like 'facilities' or 'amenities'. Practice using collocations like 'allocate resources'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
There are numerous grammatical errors and run-on sentences. Punctuation is often missing, and sentence structures are simple and sometimes incomplete. The essay lacks complex structures (e.g., conditionals, relative clauses) and has issues with subject-verb agreement and word form.
Examples
'I can't understand the view on both sides' is unclear. 'definitely as in city government you have to allocate public fundings' is awkward. 'people will get bored and people will leave the city the end' is a fragment.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar, especially verb tenses and noun forms (singular/plural). Practice writing complex sentences using conjunctions (because, although, while). Proofread for punctuation and sentence boundaries. Use a variety of sentence lengths.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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