This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the topic of income limits, addressing both views but struggling with clarity and organization. While it attempts to explain the benefits of high incomes, it tends to lack depth in its arguments and faces challenges with logical flow. By focusing on the feedback provided, you can enhance your approach to similar IELTS writing tasks.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 303 words and addresses the topic. However, it only partially fulfills the task by discussing both views unevenly, with more focus on opposing income limits. Arguments are underdeveloped and sometimes unclear. Organization is attempted but lacks logical flow, and cohesive devices are used inaccurately. Vocabulary is limited with frequent spelling errors, and grammar contains multiple mistakes that hinder communication.
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In today's world where people prefer to not only survive but also fulfill their hobbies or interests, they tend to work hard an focus on earning more money. While this can be beneficial to the entire nation but some belive otherwise. Two agruments for both the view are explained in detail along with the conclusion.
I disagree to the view that the government should limit how much money people can make because a person who is well-paid have been focusing and striving for that. The constant perseverance has helped him reach this height. Individuals who earn more also tend to spend more which can be benificial for small scale buisinesses as well, since they get to sell their services or a commodity, which is not usually preferred by low earning masses.
People who fail to focus likewise fail to achieve something of the same level which creates a resentment.These people tend to promote the pay scale sturucture.
Government limiting the payscale can lead to people loosing the temptation to exert onself and boost thier earnings. This can lead to a serious problem where the money flow will be constant, and to keep a nation running we need to have constant cash flow inside and outside of the country.
However, on the other hand limiting of how much a person make also does have its own merits. For example a company can hire and provide jobs to more people by allocating the funds for the newcomers which can be achieved by following the maximum payscale structure incorportated by the government. This can help reduce the unemployment rates in an entire nation.
It can be concluded that government limiting on how much money people make has its own merits but it does bring in some undesirable setbacks which can lead to government biting the dust
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
10 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| an | and |
| belive | believe |
| agruments | arguments |
| benificial | beneficial |
| buisinesses | businesses |
| sturucture | structure |
| loosing | losing |
| onself | oneself |
| thier | their |
| incorportated | incorporated |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| While this can be beneficial to the entire nation but some belive otherwise. | While this can be beneficial to the entire nation, some believe otherwise. | Redundant conjunction; use either 'while' or 'but', not both. |
| I disagree to the view | I disagree with the view | Preposition error; 'disagree' collocates with 'with'. |
| a person who is well-paid have been focusing | a person who is well-paid has been focusing | Subject-verb agreement; 'a person' is singular, so use 'has' not 'have'. |
| which creates a resentment | which creates resentment | Article misuse; 'resentment' is uncountable and does not require an article. |
| Government limiting the payscale | The government limiting the pay scale | Missing article before 'government'; incomplete sentence structure. |
| can lead to people loosing the temptation to exert onself | can lead to people losing the incentive to exert themselves | Pronoun consistency; 'people' is plural, so use 'themselves' instead of 'oneself'. Also, 'temptation' corrected to 'incentive' for better meaning. |
| where the money flow will be constant | where the cash flow will be constant | 'Money flow' is not standard; 'cash flow' is the correct term. |
| to keep a nation running we need to have constant cash flow | to keep a nation running, we need to have a constant cash flow | Missing comma after 'running', and 'cash flow' typically requires an article when specified. |
| However, on the other hand limiting of how much a person make also does have its own merits. | However, on the other hand, limiting how much a person makes also has its own merits. | 'Limiting of' should be 'limiting' or 'the limitation of'; 'a person make' should be 'a person makes'; 'does have' is redundant, use 'has'. |
| For example a company can hire and provide jobs to more people by allocating the funds for the newcomers which can be achieved | For example, a company can hire and provide jobs to more people by allocating funds to newcomers, which can be achieved | Missing comma after 'For example', and 'allocating the funds for the newcomers' is awkward; use 'allocating funds to newcomers' for better collocation. |
| It can be concluded that government limiting on how much money people make has its own merits but it does bring in some undesirable setbacks which can lead to government biting the dust | It can be concluded that the government limiting how much money people make has its own merits, but it does bring in some undesirable setbacks, which can lead to the government failing. | 'Government limiting on' should be 'the government limiting how much'; missing commas before 'but' and 'which'; 'biting the dust' is informal and should be replaced. |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| fulfill their hobbies | pursue their hobbies | 'Fulfill' is often used with aspirations or needs; 'pursue' is more appropriate for hobbies. |
| low earning masses | lower-income groups | 'Masses' is vague and informal; 'lower-income groups' is more precise and academic. |
| promote the pay scale structure | advocate for a structured pay scale | 'Promote' might not be the best word here; 'advocate for' is more accurate in the context of supporting a policy. |
| loosing the temptation | losing the incentive | 'Temptation' implies a desire to do something wrong; 'incentive' is better for motivation to earn more in an economic context. |
| government biting the dust | the government failing | 'Biting the dust' is an informal idiom; use more formal language like 'failing' for academic writing. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay presents a position (disagreeing with income limits) and mentions both views, but the discussion is imbalanced. The benefits of high incomes to the nation are not fully explored, and the argument for limiting income is briefly mentioned without depth. The conclusion is vague and informal.
Examples
For instance, the essay states that high earners spend more, benefiting small businesses, but does not explain how this translates to national benefit. The opposing view is reduced to one example about reducing unemployment, without elaboration on why limiting income might be beneficial overall.
How to Improve
Ensure both views are discussed in equal depth with clear explanations and relevant examples. Develop each argument by linking high incomes to national economic growth (e.g., innovation, tax revenue) and limiting income to social equity (e.g., reducing inequality). State your opinion clearly and support it with reasoned arguments, avoiding informal phrases like 'biting the dust'.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion, but paragraphing is not logical. Ideas jump between points without smooth transitions, and cohesive devices are used inaccurately or redundantly.
Examples
The second paragraph starts with disagreement, then discusses high earners, then shifts abruptly to people who 'fail to focus'. The transition 'However, on the other hand' is redundant. Paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and consistent focus.
How to Improve
Plan your essay with clear paragraphs: one for each view and one for your opinion. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea. Employ cohesive devices appropriately (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'conversely', 'furthermore') to guide the reader. Ensure each paragraph develops a single central theme.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is somewhat limited and often misspelled. Some word choices are informal or inaccurate, reducing the academic tone and clarity.
Examples
Misspellings: 'belive' (believe), 'agruments' (arguments), 'buisinesses' (businesses), 'sturucture' (structure), 'loosing' (losing), 'thier' (their). Inappropriate idiom: 'biting the dust'. Inaccurate word: 'temptation' might be better as 'incentive' or 'motivation'.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by reading academic texts on economics and social issues. Practice spelling common words. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to check word meanings and find more precise terms (e.g., 'wealth disparity', 'economic incentives', 'income caps'). Avoid informal idioms in academic writing.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay attempts a mix of sentence structures but contains frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense issues, article omission, and punctuation mistakes. These errors hinder clarity.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement error: 'a person who is well-paid have been' should be 'has been'. Missing article: 'constant perseverance' should be 'the constant perseverance'. Run-on sentence and punctuation error: 'creates a resentment.These people' should be 'creates resentment. These people'. Incorrect preposition: 'disagree to' should be 'disagree with'.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositions. Practice writing complex sentences with correct clause structures. Use punctuation marks like commas and periods appropriately to separate ideas. Proofread your essay to identify and correct errors before submission.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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