This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses leisure activities and highlights clarity and development issues. At just 227 words, the essay falls short of the required length, limiting the depth of ideas presented. Key areas for improvement include coherence and more precise vocabulary usage.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· Leisure & Lifestyle Β· 40 min
Some people argue that leisure time is best spent on activities that stimulate the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people contend that leisure time is best spent on activities that relax the mind. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay is under the required word count (227 words vs. 250 minimum), which limits the development of ideas and impacts Task Response. While it addresses both views and gives an opinion, the content is underdeveloped. There are issues with coherence, vocabulary, and grammar throughout.
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Leisure activities play important role in enhance the creativity and also in well- being. there are argument among people that the excellent way to spent on activities is stimulation or relaxtion. I believe that ethiere motivation and refreshment are effective. I will examine both perspetives and discuss my own opinion.
With begining, the leisure time that spent on activities that stimulate the mind has many benefites. Firstly, activities like reading scientific books and doing premium test to learn new languages can froster person's thinking and knowledge. Additionally, that can motivate and stimulate the mind to enhance skills and develope creativity.
On the other hand, the activities such as running, hiking and cycling may have usefull effect on the mind by refreshing away from pressur and hardworking. Moreover, these can improve people health mind by stay active and a significant increase in the oxygen levels passing through the brain. Meanwhile, this lead people to become more consentrated and high focused in their work and also more brilliant.
In conclusion, I believe that the two subjects are essentail in people lifestyle. Ultimately, chiocing best activities in free time depends on the individual's mindset and preferences. Those who prefere their mind stay active and their innovation to learing what they like to earn are better than those who spent their free time on fun activities to feel entertainment and enjoable.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
16 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| relaxtion | relaxation |
| ethiere | either |
| perspetives | perspectives |
| begining | beginning |
| benefites | benefits |
| froster | foster |
| develope | develop |
| usefull | useful |
| pressur | pressure |
| well- being | well-being |
| consentrated | concentrated |
| essentail | essential |
| chiocing | choosing |
| prefere | prefer |
| learing | learning |
| enjoable | enjoyable |
Grammatical Mistakes
22 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| play important role | play an important role | Article missing before 'important role' |
| in enhance | in enhancing | Verb form error; after preposition 'in', use gerund |
| there are argument | there is an argument | Subject-verb agreement; 'argument' is singular, so use 'is' and article 'an' |
| to spent on activities | to spend on activities | Verb tense error; after 'to', use base form 'spend' |
| ethiere motivation and refreshment | both motivation and refreshment | Incorrect use of 'either'; 'either' is used with 'or', so for 'and', use 'both' |
| With begining | To begin with | Incorrect phrase; 'To begin with' is standard for introducing points |
| the leisure time that spent | the leisure time that is spent | Missing verb in relative clause; 'that' should be followed by a verb phrase |
| can froster person's thinking | can foster a person's thinking | Article missing before 'person's' |
| that can motivate | these activities can motivate | Pronoun reference unclear; 'that' is vague, replace with specific noun |
| may have usefull effect | may have a useful effect | Article missing before 'useful effect' |
| by refreshing away from pressur and hardworking | by providing refreshment away from pressure and hard work | Incorrect verb usage and noun form; 'refreshing' is not used this way; 'hardworking' should be 'hard work' |
| improve people health mind | improve people's mental health | Incorrect word order and possessive; use possessive 'people's' and correct term 'mental health' |
| by stay active | by staying active | Verb form error; after 'by', use gerund |
| this lead people | this leads people | Subject-verb agreement; 'this' is singular, so verb should be 'leads' |
| high focused | highly focused | Adverb needed; 'high' is adjective, use adverb 'highly' to modify 'focused' |
| are essentail in people lifestyle | are essential in people's lifestyles | Possessive form needed for 'people', and 'lifestyle' should be plural to refer to general concept |
| chiocing best activities | choosing the best activities | Article missing before 'best activities' |
| Those who prefere their mind stay active | Those who prefer that their minds stay active | Verb form error after 'prefer'; 'prefer' can be followed by 'that' clause or infinitive |
| their innovation to learing | their interest in learning | Preposition error; 'innovation' is not typically followed by 'to'; 'interest in learning' is better |
| what they like to earn | what they like to learn | Word choice error; context suggests learning, not earning |
| spent their free time | spend their free time | Verb tense error; should be present tense 'spend' for general statement |
| feel entertainment and enjoable | seek entertainment and enjoyment | Incorrect verb-noun collocation; 'feel' should be followed by adjectives, so use 'seek' for nouns |
Vocabulary Improvements
9 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| premium test | practice tests | Vague term; 'practice tests' is more precise for learning languages |
| pressur and hardworking | pressure and hard work | 'hardworking' is an adjective; use noun 'hard work' for correct collocation |
| people health mind | mental health | Incorrect and vague phrase; 'mental health' is the standard term |
| high focused | highly focused | Incorrect adverb use; 'highly' is the correct adverb to modify 'focused' |
| more brilliant | more productive | 'Brilliant' can be informal or overstated; 'productive' is more appropriate in academic context |
| subjects | aspects | Vague; in context, referring to types of activities, so 'aspects' is clearer |
| innovation to learing | eagerness to learn | 'Innovation' implies new methods, which may not fit; 'eagerness to learn' is more accurate |
| to earn | to learn | Context suggests learning, so correct word choice |
| feel entertainment | seek entertainment | Incorrect collocation; 'entertainment' is not felt; use 'seek' for actions |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing both views and stating an opinion, but the ideas are underdeveloped due to the short length. The introduction and conclusion are present but vague.
Examples
The introduction states 'I believe that ethiere motivation and refreshment are effective' but does not clearly explain the opinion. Body paragraphs mention benefits but lack depth and specific examples.
How to Improve
Expand on each view with more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure the opinion is clearly stated and supported throughout. Aim to meet the 250-word minimum to fully develop arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is weakened by awkward transitions and logical flow issues.
Examples
Phrases like 'With begining' are incorrect. Paragraphs are separated but connections between ideas are weak, e.g., 'Meanwhile, this lead people to become more consentrated...' lacks clear linkage.
How to Improve
Use appropriate linking words (e.g., 'Firstly,' 'On the other hand,' 'In conclusion') correctly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically within and between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, with misspellings and inappropriate word choices that hinder clarity.
Examples
Misspellings: 'benefites' (benefits), 'froster' (foster), 'prefere' (prefer). Awkward phrases: 'doing premium test' (possibly meaning 'challenging tests'), 'chiocing best activities' (choosing the best activities).
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to leisure and mental activities. Practice spelling and use words accurately. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find appropriate terms and review common IELTS topics.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, with incorrect verb forms, article usage, and sentence structures. Range is limited to simple sentences.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'play important role in enhance' (should be 'play an important role in enhancing'), 'there are argument' (should be 'there is an argument'). Sentence fragments: 'Moreover, these can improve people health mind by stay active...' (should be 'by staying active').
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses. Proofread essays to correct errors before submission.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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