This Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the dual role of museums as educational and enjoyable spaces. While it presents both perspectives, coherence issues and a lack of depth in argumentation hinder clarity. This feedback emphasizes the need for clearer structure and more developed points to improve the overall effectiveness of the essay.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· Museums Β· 40 min
Some people believe that the purpose of museums is to educate people, while others think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people. What is your view on this issue? Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (287 words) and addresses the prompt by discussing both views on museums (education vs. entertainment) and giving a personal opinion. However, the response lacks depth, contains repetitive ideas, and the argument is not fully developed. Coherence is weak due to poor paragraph organisation and limited linking. Lexical range is narrow with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'regading', 'excpet', 'quries'), and grammatical errors (e.g., 'it depend', 'people didn,t learn') reduce clarity. The essay would benefit from clearer structure, better vocabulary, and more accurate grammar.
Now write your own β and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Museums essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
Some individuals consider that the aim of museum is to educate the people regading the history and invention of previous scientist. children learn and gain new ideas from history.
While on the other hand, some people excpet me, think that museum is a place where people could enjoy by seeing different artifacts. Now, In this essay i will discuss both point of view and also give my own opinion.
Actually, it depend on the mindset of people. Some people believe that museum is place where we can enjoy to see different invention and various ancient things like a mummy" title="Correction: like a mummy">like mummy in the museum of Egypt, and some other invention like a gold coffin" title="Correction: like a gold coffin">like gold coffin, and ancient pots, inscription or epigraph; etc. People think, these stuff are just for enjoy and they didn,t learn history from these antique things.
On the other hands, Some people are very creative, so learn every things from everywhere.
These individuals gain new ideas and solve quries via history. These individuals consider that museum is a place from where we learn something new from every museum. Like scientist research on mummy which was found in Egypt few years back. They found some chemicals which was used to preserved body hundreds of years back. So, most of the schools arrange trip to museum for teaching history to students.
Well, in my opinion, we got much knowlege, and ideas from museum. I think schools must arranged a trip to various museum after every 2 months for students and gave them a task that they find something new concept based on everything from museum either concept belong to mystery or invention. In this way, the capability of thinking and creativity is enhanced and we take the best advantage from museum.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| regading | regarding |
| excpet | except |
| didn,t | didn't |
| quries | queries |
| knowlege | knowledge |
Grammatical Mistakes
31 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the aim of museum | the aim of museums | Missing article or plural form for generic reference |
| invention of previous scientist | inventions of previous scientists | Plural needed for both nouns |
| i | I | Pronoun 'I' must be capitalized |
| both point of view | both points of view | Plural required after 'both' |
| it depend | it depends | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' singular requires 'depends' |
| museum is place | museum is a place | Missing indefinite article 'a' before singular countable noun 'place' |
| enjoy to see | enjoy seeing | The verb 'enjoy' is followed by a gerund, not an infinitive |
| different invention | different inventions | Plural needed after 'different' |
| like mummy | like a mummy | Missing article before singular countable noun 'mummy' |
| some other invention | some other inventions | Plural needed |
| like gold coffin | like a gold coffin | Missing article |
| inscription or epigraph | inscriptions or epigraphs | Plural forms needed for general examples |
| these stuff are | these items are | Uncountable noun 'stuff' replaced with countable 'items'; verb agreement corrected |
| for enjoy | for enjoyment | Preposition 'for' requires a noun; use 'enjoyment' |
| On the other hands | On the other hand | Idiomatic phrase uses singular 'hand' |
| so learn every things | so they learn everything | Missing subject 'they' and 'everything' is one word |
| scientist research | scientists researched | Plural subject and past tense needed |
| research on mummy | research on a mummy | Missing article before singular countable noun 'mummy' |
| which was used | which were used | Plural subject 'chemicals' requires plural verb 'were' |
| to preserved | to preserve | Infinitive form after 'used'; 'to' + base verb |
| body | bodies | Plural needed for general reference, or add article 'a body' |
| arrange trip to museum | arrange trips to museums | Plural forms needed for general statement |
| from museum | from museums | Plural needed for generic reference |
| must arranged | must arrange | After modal 'must', use base form of verb |
| a trip to various museum | trips to various museums | Plural for both 'trips' and 'museums' |
| and gave them | and give them | Parallel structure: keep present tense after 'must arrange' |
| that they find something new concept | that they find a new concept | Remove 'something' and add article; 'a new concept' is correct |
| based on everything from museum | based on everything from the museum | Missing definite article 'the' before 'museum' |
| either concept belong | whether the concept belongs | Use 'whether' instead of 'either', and subject-verb agreement: 'concept' singular requires 'belongs' |
| the capability of thinking and creativity is enhanced | the capabilities of thinking and creativity are enhanced | Subject-verb agreement: plural subject 'capabilities' requires 'are' |
| take the best advantage from museum | take the best advantage of museums | Correct collocation is 'take advantage of', and 'museums' plural |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Like | For example | Informal use of 'Like' as a conjunction; use 'For example' in academic writing |
| few years back | a few years ago | 'back' is informal; use 'ago' for time reference |
| hundreds of years back | hundreds of years ago | 'back' is informal; use 'ago' for time reference |
| got | gain | Informal; use 'gain' or 'acquire' for formal writing |
| ancient things | artifacts | Vague; use 'artifacts' for more precise academic term |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Museums essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task, discussing both sides and stating an opinion. However, the discussion is superficial; points are repeated and not well elaborated. The second body paragraph mixes both perspectives, and the conclusion is brief. The response does not fully explore the nuances of the issue.
Examples
The first body paragraph tries to explain the entertainment view but ends with 'people didn,t learn history from these antique things' without further reasoning. The opinion paragraph suggests school trips but does not clearly link to the debate.
How to Improve
Develop each side with specific examples or reasons. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one perspective. Strengthen the conclusion by summarising your view and why it balances both purposes.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure (introduction, body, conclusion) but lacks clear logical flow. Transitions are abrupt ('While on the other hand', 'Actually, it depend on...') and paragraphs are not well organised. Ideas jump between views without clear signposting.
Examples
The second paragraph starts with 'Actually, it depend on the mindset of people' and then mixes entertainment and education points. The third paragraph begins with 'On the other hands' but still discusses both sides. No clear topic sentences.
How to Improve
Use clear paragraphing: one paragraph for entertainment view, one for education view, and one for your opinion. Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'In contrast', 'Moreover', 'In conclusion'. Write a clear topic sentence for each paragraph.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive (e.g., 'museum' used many times, 'learn' repeated). There are several spelling errors that affect understanding ('regading', 'excpet', 'quries', 'knowlege', 'mystrey'). Attempts at advanced words (e.g., 'inscription or epigraph') are not fully accurate.
Examples
'some other invention like gold coffin, and ancient pots, inscription or epigraph; etc.' - incorrect punctuation and vague phrasing. 'scientist research on mummy' lacks article and verb form.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms (e.g., 'exhibits', 'artefacts', 'displays', 'curiosity', 'insight'). Use collocations like 'gain knowledge', 'broaden horizons'. Proofread for spelling errors; use a dictionary or spell-check.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement mistakes ('it depend'), incorrect verb tense ('people didn,t learn' - missing apostrophe and wrong tense), missing articles ('the aim of museum'), and run-on sentences. Sentence structures are mostly simple.
Examples
'Some individuals consider that the aim of museum is to educate the people regading the history...' - should be 'the aim of museums' or 'a museum'. 'people excpet me' - misspelling of 'except'. 'schools must arranged a trip' - incorrect verb form after modal.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar: subject-verb agreement, articles (a/an/the), and verb tenses. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinate clauses. After writing, check each sentence for errors. Consider using shorter, clear sentences if unsure.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
In different countries, many people make too much money. Some people gave their opinions in thier favour and some suggest that The Government should keeps an ey...
02
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
The two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subject or whether allowing an individual to study courses that will on...
03
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
An individual's educational background fortells a lot on how people can earn more or earn less. Some may finished only as a highschool graduate but has skills t...
04
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
There are two contrary opinions about whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should be allowed to study subject...
05
Some people believe that the purpose of museums is to educate people, while others think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people. What is your view on this issue? Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
When travelling to another country, museums are often serves as a spot or a destination for that certain area. Museums offers education and entertainment. It do...