This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the allocation of public funds for urban services versus arts and culture. While it addresses essential services in detail, coherence issues arise from an unbalanced exploration of the topic, and the author’s opinion lacks clarity. Understanding these areas for improvement can help enhance your writing skills for the IELTS exam.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · City Life · 40 min
Some people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic but does not fully discuss both views in a balanced manner. It focuses heavily on essential services (healthcare, education, infrastructure) and only briefly mentions arts, culture, and entertainment as secondary, failing to develop the opposing viewpoint. The writer’s opinion is underdeveloped and vague. Coherence is hindered by weak paragraph structure and lack of cohesive devices. Lexical range is limited with frequent spelling errors, and grammatical accuracy is low, with subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing. Word count (341) meets the minimum requirement.
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In the following passages, peoples view on the allocation of public funds, on only essential urban services such as healthcare, education and infrastructure is important or the investments in arts, culture and entertainment is also to be considered important will be discussed.
The urban services such as healthcare, education and infrastructure has a high priority for any city government. The healthcare plays a major role in keeping the people in the city healthy. Not having adequate funds for this faicilty could lead to people with poor health, which could also lead to below average functional city, due to people not being available to complete the daily funcations of the city. Futhermore, not having adequate funds assigned to this service will make the people of the city more vulnerable to pandemic situations. A good ex-sample would be the corona pandemic which required large scale support from the health sector to resolve it.
When we look into the education services, it is one of the utmost important services. Through education the society will be well organised, disciplined, knowledgeable and also it will have a strong community. Futhermore, many students might not have sufficent financial backup to complete their studies. Some of their patents might be doing a job that their parents also did as they did not have proper education or sufficent funds for their education. However, by government enhancing this service, everyone get an equal oppertunity be educated and choose a profession of their choice.
In order for a city to function proerly it also should focus on the infrastrucfture as well with equal imporatance as other two services discussed earlier. However, when it come to art and entertainment, this falls as secondary requirement. However, this city should focus on its cultural value as well in order for the city to thrive with its moral.
However, based on peoples requirement, the city government can always intergrate culture, art and entertainment to the three major esential services and reduce the cost involved to set up newplaces and and still keep its people happy.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
15 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| peoples | people's |
| faicilty | facility |
| funcations | functions |
| Futhermore | Furthermore |
| ex-sample | example |
| sufficent | sufficient |
| patents | parents |
| oppertunity | opportunity |
| proerly | properly |
| infrastrucfture | infrastructure |
| imporatance | importance |
| intergrate | integrate |
| newplaces | new places |
| esential | essential |
| moral | morale |
Grammatical Mistakes
14 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| peoples view on the allocation | people's views on the allocation | Possessive and plural: 'people's' with apostrophe, 'views' plural |
| the investments in arts, culture and entertainment is also to be considered important | the investments in arts, culture, and entertainment are also to be considered important | Subject-verb agreement: 'investments' is plural, so 'are' instead of 'is' |
| The healthcare plays | Healthcare plays | Unnecessary article: 'healthcare' is uncountable and used generally |
| lead to below average functional city | lead to a below-average functional city | Missing article 'a' and hyphen in compound adjective 'below-average' |
| it is one of the utmost important services | it is one of the most important services | Incorrect use of 'utmost'; use 'most' for superlative |
| by government enhancing this service | by the government enhancing this service | Missing article 'the' before countable noun 'government' |
| everyone get an equal oppertunity be educated | everyone gets an equal opportunity to be educated | Subject-verb agreement: 'everyone' is singular, so 'gets'; missing 'to' before verb |
| when it come to art and entertainment | when it comes to art and entertainment | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' requires 'comes' |
| this falls as secondary requirement | this is a secondary requirement | Incorrect preposition; use 'is' instead of 'falls as' |
| as other two services | as the other two services | Missing definite article 'the' |
| based on peoples requirement | based on people's requirements | Possessive and plural: 'people's' with apostrophe, 'requirements' plural |
| reduce the cost involved to set up | reduce the cost involved in setting up | Correct preposition after 'involved' is 'in', not 'to' |
| and and still keep | and still keep | Duplicate word 'and' removed |
| the society will be well organised | society will be well organized | Remove unnecessary article 'the' for general reference |
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| financial backup | financial support | Too informal; 'support' is more academic |
| corona pandemic | COVID-19 pandemic | Informal and imprecise; use the official name |
| utmost important | most important | Wrong collocation; 'utmost' is used with 'importance', not 'important' |
| below average functional city | city with below-average functionality | Vague and awkward; clearer phrasing using 'functionality' |
| thrive with its moral | thrive with its morale | Wrong word; 'moral' means ethics, 'morale' means spirit or confidence |
| large scale support | large-scale support | Missing hyphen; compound adjective requires hyphen |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay attempts to discuss both views but does so unevenly. The first view (essential services) is elaborated across multiple paragraphs, while the second view (arts, culture, entertainment) is only mentioned in the final paragraph as a secondary consideration. The writer's own opinion is not clearly stated or supported. The response partially addresses the prompt but lacks depth on one side.
Examples
The essay says 'However, when it come to art and entertainment, this falls as secondary requirement' but does not explain why others argue it is equally important. No specific examples or reasoning for arts/culture investment.
How to Improve
Ensure both viewpoints are given roughly equal attention. Dedicate a separate paragraph to the argument for arts and culture, providing reasons and examples. Clearly state your own opinion in a concluding paragraph and explain why you hold it.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction and several paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is unclear. Paragraphs are not logically linked, and there is overuse of 'furthermore' (misspelled as 'Futhermore'). No clear topic sentences or concluding summary. Cohesive devices are limited and sometimes misused.
Examples
The second paragraph starts with healthcare, then jumps to education in the third, then infrastructure in the fourth, without clear transitions. The final paragraph attempts to integrate arts but the connection is abrupt.
How to Improve
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Link ideas with appropriate connectors (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'in contrast', 'similarly'). Include a short introductory sentence that previews the structure, and a concluding paragraph that synthesizes the discussion.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive. There are several spelling errors ('faicilty', 'funcations', 'ex-sample', 'oppertunity', 'proerly', 'imporatance') and misuse of words ('patents' instead of 'parents'). Range is narrow, with limited synonyms or academic phrasing.
Examples
'Not having adequate funds for this faicilty could lead to people with poor health' – 'facility' misspelled, 'people with poor health' is awkward. 'A good ex-sample would be the corona pandemic' – 'example' misspelled.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-specific terms (e.g., 'public expenditure', 'cultural enrichment', 'social welfare'). Proofread for spelling errors. Use a thesaurus to find alternatives for common words like 'important' or 'service'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical range is limited, with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article use, and sentence structure. Many sentences are awkward or incomplete. There is little use of complex structures.
Examples
'The urban services such as healthcare, education and infrastructure has a high priority' – should be 'have'. 'Not having adequate funds for this faicilty could lead to people with poor health' – unclear construction. 'Some of their patents might be doing a job that their parents also did' – missing possessive and tense consistency.
How to Improve
Review basic subject-verb agreement rules. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although essential services are crucial, arts and culture also contribute to well-being'). Proofread carefully to correct grammatical mistakes.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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