This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the dilemma of student subject choices but lacks depth in argumentation and clarity in structure. For students, enhancing the organization and providing stronger examples will be crucial for improving clarity and coherence.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (263 words) and addresses the topic, but it lacks depth in discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion. The organization is weak, with no clear paragraph structure, and there are issues with vocabulary and grammar that affect clarity.
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World is progressing day by day and each day is a new developed day where many inventions are being made and some are in progress. However, there is a very huge debate by students if they want to choose their own subjects and courses or only those subjects should be taught which will be beneficial to the coming time. I think in both of these scenarios each factor holds its own essence. If we talk about the choice of subjects by the students, then it is very fair to assert that because of this students will adopt the choice of subjects based on their interests and they will be very keen on studying their favourite courses. Moreover, it will make them more confident in their future lives because they would know how to come up with plans. The upcoming trend of Artificial Intelligence and computer programming is very crucial for the upcoming generation as now most of the tasks are done in a split second because of this. So, students making their choice in computer or AI can give benefit to them but also to the society. On the other hand, students should also be given compulsory trainings and teachings in science and technology because it is evident that the future is of technology and artificial world so that is why it is essential for the upcoming students to have a knowledge and understanding of sciences and technology. This factor will beneficial for them to keep up with the trending adaptations in the society also help them explore job opportunities in the future.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| World is progressing | The world is progressing | Missing definite article 'the' before 'world' |
| a new developed day | a day of new developments | Awkward adjective-noun combination; 'developed' is not typically used with 'day' |
| debate by students if they want | debate among students about whether they want | Preposition and conjunction usage; 'by' should be 'among', and 'if' should be 'whether' for alternatives |
| can give benefit to them but also to the society | can benefit not only themselves but also society | Verb usage; 'give benefit to' is incorrect, use 'benefit'; omit 'the' before 'society' for general reference |
| This factor will beneficial for them | This will be beneficial for them | Missing verb 'be' after 'will' |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| day by day | continuously | Informal phrase; use more formal adverb for academic writing |
| very huge debate | a significant debate | 'Very' is overused and informal; 'huge' is vague; use more precise adjective |
| come up with plans | develop plans | Informal phrasal verb; 'develop' is more appropriate in academic context |
| artificial world | artificial intelligence | Vague term; specify technology for clarity and accuracy |
| trending adaptations | current trends | 'Trending' is informal from social media; 'adaptations' is misused; use standard term |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay discusses both views but does not develop them sufficiently. The opinion is stated vaguely (e.g., 'each factor holds its own essence'), and arguments are not well-supported with reasons or examples. For instance, it mentions that choosing subjects based on interest makes students confident but does not explain how or why.
Examples
Examples include: 'students will adopt the choice of subjects based on their interests' without elaboration; 'The upcoming trend of Artificial Intelligence and computer programming is very crucial' without linking it clearly to the debate.
How to Improve
To improve, provide specific reasons and examples for each view. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, and support it with detailed arguments. For example, explain how student choice leads to better engagement or how focusing on STEM subjects addresses future job markets.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay is presented as a single paragraph, making it difficult to follow. Cohesive devices like 'moreover' and 'on the other hand' are used, but the progression of ideas is not logical. Transitions between points are abrupt, and there is no clear introduction or conclusion.
Examples
The essay jumps from general statements about world progress to student interests without a smooth transition. The use of 'on the other hand' introduces a contrasting view but is not preceded by a clear first view.
How to Improve
Use clear paragraphs: introduction, one for each view, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea and use linking words appropriately to show contrast and addition. For example, start with an introduction outlining the debate, then discuss the 'free choice' view, followed by the 'useful subjects' view, and end with a conclusion stating your opinion.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with some errors in word choice and spelling. Limited range of topic-specific lexical items is used, and words are often imprecise.
Examples
Repetitive use of 'beneficial' and 'important'; misspelling or incorrect form in 'will beneficial' (should be 'will be beneficial'); vague phrases like 'trending adaptations'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to education and future trends, such as 'autonomy', 'curriculum', 'technological advancement', 'employability'. Use synonyms and avoid repetition. Practice correct word forms and collocations, e.g., 'gain knowledge' instead of 'have a knowledge'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammar errors are frequent, including missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. Sentences are mostly simple, with attempts at complexity but with errors that hinder meaning.
Examples
Missing article: 'World is progressing' should be 'The world is progressing'; incorrect verb form: 'This factor will beneficial' should be 'This factor will be beneficial'; awkward phrasing: 'because of this students will adopt'.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, such as article usage and verb tenses. Practice constructing complex sentences with clauses and connectors. Proofread for errors, e.g., ensure subjects and verbs agree, and use punctuation correctly to separate ideas.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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