This Band 5 IELTS essay addresses the debate on whether students should choose their subjects freely or follow specific career paths. Although it presents relevant examples, the conclusion is incomplete, affecting the overall effectiveness of the argument. Improving clarity and structure could enhance the response significantly.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· University Students Β· 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words (actual: 400 words). It discusses both views on subject choice for university students and attempts to give an opinion, but the conclusion is incomplete, which affects task fulfillment. The response is relevant but lacks depth and clear development of the opinion. Cohesion is hampered by the abrupt ending, and there are noticeable errors in vocabulary and grammar that occasionally impede clarity.
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In general, Education is an essentital skill for all individuals to develop their knowledge. Students have the liberty to choose their own subjects of their choice or they can be streamlined into a specific direction which can be beneficial for the future generations. The future generation might need special technologies which can be used in medical research, agriculture etcetra.
On one hand, students are allowed to choose the subjects that they want to learn and develop their knowledge. They have interest in certain subjects and might want to learn more about it and expand their horizon in it. When they learn this way, readers have way more understanding about the concept and will grow passion towards it. Their passion towards their favorite subject will lead them to do research, analyze the topic and develop new technologies in future. In this way also, the future can have new and better innovations in their hand. Dr.A.P.J Abdul Kalam had interest in science and space technologies. He became a scientist and was the former president of India. He dedicated his whole life to science ,to his country, known as "Missile man of India" as he developed ballistic missiles and contributed to India's space and defense programs. This is an clear example for students to pursue education of their own choice so that they can also achieve greater things in life.
On the other hand, If their comes a situation where the future demands students who are specialised in specific fields so that they can contribute their knowledge to science and technology. For example, there might be a time in future where there are more number of students in engineering, finance and education field, but the society needs graduates or post graduates in politics, economics, agriculture, environment protection, disease control, etcetra. These are some example categories which might have a problematic state in the future. If students are allowed to study and learn specific fields, they can make some progress and apply their learnings to create new inventions. For instance, these days more number of natural disasters are occuring in certain places which never had history of natural disasters before. In times like these, students can create new technologies to detect and protect people from these disasters before it happens. In these way they can contribute their learnings to the society.
To summarize, students should be provided with proper guidance and awareness for such
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| essentital | essential |
| etcetra | et cetera |
| occuring | occurring |
Grammatical Mistakes
13 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| readers have way more understanding | they have a much better understanding | Incorrect noun reference; likely meant 'students' instead of 'readers' |
| grow passion towards it | develop a passion for it | Unidiomatic expression; 'grow passion' is not standard |
| in future | in the future | Article missing before 'future' |
| an clear example | a clear example | Article misuse; 'a' is used before consonant sounds |
| If their comes a situation | if there comes a situation | Homophone error; 'their' should be 'there' |
| more number of students | more students | Redundant phrasing; 'more' already implies number |
| in education field | in the field of education | Article missing; should specify 'the field' or use plural 'fields' |
| might have a problematic state | might become problematic | Awkward phrasing; 'problematic state' is not idiomatic |
| apply their learnings | apply their knowledge | 'Learnings' is non-standard; use 'knowledge' |
| which never had history | which never had a history | Article missing before 'history' |
| before it happens | before they happen | Pronoun-antecedent agreement; 'disasters' is plural |
| In these way | In this way | Demonstrative adjective error; 'these' is plural, but 'way' is singular |
| contribute their learnings to the society | contribute their knowledge to society | 'Learnings' is non-standard; 'the' is often omitted before 'society' in general contexts |
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| streamlined | guided | Misused word; 'streamlined' means to make efficient, not to direct. Use 'guided' for better clarity |
| way more understanding | much better understanding | Informal phrasing; 'way more' is colloquial, use 'much' for academic tone |
| in their hand | at their disposal | Idiomatic expression error; use 'at their disposal' to mean available |
| learnings | knowledge | Informal or non-standard term; use 'knowledge' in academic writing |
| more number of | more | Redundant and informal phrasing; 'more' is sufficient |
| problematic state | problematic situation | Vague word choice; 'situation' is more precise than 'state' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay partially addresses the task by presenting both views and using examples, but the opinion is not fully developed or clearly concluded. The discussion sometimes drifts into generalities rather than focusing on the core debate.
Examples
The first body paragraph discusses students choosing subjects, using Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam as an example. The second body paragraph addresses specialization for future needs, with examples like natural disasters. However, the conclusion is cut off, so no definitive opinion is stated.
How to Improve
Ensure that both views are discussed equally and linked directly to the question. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reinforce it in a complete conclusion. Avoid tangential examples and stay focused on the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a attempted conclusion. However, the conclusion is incomplete, disrupting the flow. Paragraphing is present, but transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Examples
Use of 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps structure the body paragraphs. However, the essay ends abruptly with 'for such', leaving the reader without a resolved summary.
How to Improve
Plan a complete conclusion that summarises both views and restates your opinion. Use linking words more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but with noticeable spelling errors and imprecise word choice. Some repetition occurs, and the range is limited, affecting sophistication.
Examples
Misspellings: 'essentital' (essential), 'etcetra' (etcetera). Incorrect word use: 'their' instead of 'there' in 'If their comes a situation'. Phrases like 'expand their horizon' are used but with errors.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-specific words (e.g., 'curriculum', 'specialization'). Proofread to correct spelling errors. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more accurate and varied expressions.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammar is limited with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tenses, and article usage. Simple sentences dominate, and mistakes sometimes hinder understanding.
Examples
Errors: 'readers have way more understanding' (likely meant 'learners understand better'), 'In these way' (should be 'In this way'), 'more number of students' (should be 'more students'). Sentence fragments like the incomplete conclusion.
How to Improve
Practice complex sentence structures with clauses. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage (a/an/the), and prepositions. Review common grammatical errors and consider using grammar checking tools during practice.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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