Read this Band 5 IELTS essay discussing university subject choice, which presents a superficial argument and has grammatical errors. Discover how to enhance your writing by addressing development and cohesion issues.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· University Students Β· 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 264 words and addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting an opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited, with some irrelevant points (e.g., middle school guidance), and there are noticeable errors in cohesion, vocabulary, and grammar, leading to an overall band score of 5.0.
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University students should be allowed to select their subject in which they are interested and also should focus on which subject would be beneficial for their future. This essay will discuss the both views. According to my point of view students should give their preferences to the science and technology related subjects.
on the first hand, now a days our generation is fully aware about everything. they are taking their own decisions. Choosing the subject on their own wish can increase their interest in the study because students know about their skills. For example, if one of the child is interested in the art subject, they can actively participate in all the activities and do wonderful painting by their love and care
on the other hand, if students choose their subjects by proper searching about which subjects would be beneficial for their future. For instance, science and technology-related subjects are fruitful for their upcoming days because now a days technology and science related researches are growing faster and these students have more career opportunities and earn more as compared to other related subjects.
lastly, but not the least. My point of view is that, at the Time of middle school the teachers should guide their students about their career perspective. Additionally, arrange their career counseling seminars and discuss each subject briefly and decribe their advantanges and disadvantages of each subject.
In conclusion, university-going students should have the opportunity to choose their subjects by their own wish but according to my point of view, students should choose those subjects that are good for their future
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| now a days | nowadays |
| researches | research |
| decribe | describe |
| advantanges | advantages |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the both views | both views | Article misuse; 'both' does not require 'the' when used alone |
| on the first hand | On the one hand | Incorrect phrase; the standard expression is 'on the one hand' |
| aware about | aware of | Preposition error; 'aware' is followed by 'of' |
| they are taking their own decisions | They are making their own decisions | Verb collocation; 'make decisions' is more appropriate than 'take decisions' |
| if one of the child | if a child | Article and number agreement; 'child' is singular, so use 'a child' or 'one of the children' |
| they can actively participate | he or she can actively participate | Pronoun agreement; 'a child' is singular, so use singular pronouns |
| by proper searching | through proper research | Incorrect phrasing; 'research' is more appropriate than 'searching' in this context |
| science related researches | science-related research | Uncountable noun and hyphenation; 'research' is uncountable, and 'science-related' should be hyphenated |
| lastly, but not the least. | Last but not least, | Idiomatic expression; the correct phrase is 'last but not least' |
| at the Time of middle school | at the time of middle school | Capitalization error; 'time' should not be capitalized unless starting a sentence |
| arrange their career counseling seminars | arrange career counseling seminars | Missing subject; the phrase lacks a clear subject for 'arrange', so removing 'their' improves clarity |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| give their preferences to | prefer | Awkward phrasing; 'prefer' is more concise and academic |
| fruitful | beneficial | Slightly informal; 'beneficial' is more commonly used in academic writing |
| upcoming days | future | Vague expression; 'future' is more precise and standard |
| growing faster | growing rapidly | Informal; 'rapidly' is more formal than 'faster' in this context |
| earn more | have higher earning potential | Informal; 'have higher earning potential' is more academic |
| by their own wish | according to their own interests | Awkward collocation; 'according to their own interests' is more appropriate |
| career perspective | career prospects | Incorrect collocation; 'career prospects' is the standard term for future career opportunities |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay covers both views and gives a clear opinion, but the discussion is superficial and underdeveloped. The example about art is brief, and the introduction of career counseling in middle school is not directly relevant to university subject choice.
Examples
For example, the point 'Choosing the subject on their own wish can increase their interest in the study because students know about their skills' is not elaborated. The suggestion that 'teachers should guide their students about their career perspective' in middle school detracts from the university context.
How to Improve
Develop each view with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Focus strictly on the university level. Elaborate on why science and technology are beneficial for the future, and compare with other subjects to strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but cohesion is weakened by awkward transitions, informal phrases, and punctuation errors.
Examples
Incorrect transitions like 'on the first hand' (should be 'on the one hand') and 'lastly, but not the least' (informal and misused). Lack of capitalization after periods, e.g., 'they are taking their own decisions.' affects flow.
How to Improve
Use standard linking words and phrases (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'in conclusion'). Ensure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence and progresses logically. Proofread for punctuation and capitalization to improve readability.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is repetitive and contains spelling errors, with a limited range of words. Some terms are used inaccurately or informally.
Examples
'now a days' should be 'nowadays'; 'fruitful' is less appropriate than 'beneficial'; 'decribe' is misspelled for 'describe'; 'advantanges' for 'advantages'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and more precise academic terms. Avoid informal expressions. Practice correct spelling and word formation through reading and writing exercises.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence structure, which hinder clarity.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'our generation is fully aware... they are taking' should be 'it is taking'; 'if one of the child is' should be 'if a child is'. Sentence fragment: 'on the first hand,' without proper capitalization.
How to Improve
Focus on grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Practice constructing complex sentences correctly. Proofread thoroughly to identify and correct errors in articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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