This Band 5 IELTS essay addresses the debate over university subjects, highlighting both perspectives. Key feedback indicates grammar and clarity issues that hinder the effectiveness of arguments, providing an opportunity for improvement.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· University Students Β· 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 295 words and addresses the topic by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, with limited elaboration and an incomplete conclusion. Frequent errors in grammar, spelling, and cohesion reduce overall clarity and impact.
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It is debated that students at the university level should be free to chose the discipline of their choice to study or they should follow the subjects that has more prospects in future, for instance science and technology. However, both the arguments has their pros and cons but in my opinion choice subject make students good professionals.
When students pass their higher secondary school and are eligable for university admisstions some of them get stuck between the subjects they want to study and and parental pressures. If a child tries to get discipline of his/her choice means that he/she is thinking out of the box and not following the trend of science and technology. These children study with more interest, get in depth knowledge of the subject and qualify with better understanding and good grades. They apply their knowledge in practical life and excel in their profession. For example known lawyer, went to law college" title="Correction: Mr. Fakhar Imam, a well-known lawyer, went to law college">Mr fakher Imam known lawyer went to Law college by choice.
On the other hand, if an individual surrender to their parents desire and is forced to study science and technology because most elders are fixed to the myth that scientists, engineers and doctors earn more in practical life than the graduate of other discipline which in reality is not true. Although, these students get into science and technology, try their level best to grasp the subject and in doing so get stressed, but only a few get through" title="Correction: most get stressed, but only a few get through">most get stressed but only few get through easily and achieve the target. In other words it become forces study like forced labour.
In conclusion, students can study the dicsipline of their choice or subjects proposed to them, but I believe that all those scholors who chose to study the subjects of their choice do better in life professionally and enjoy their work rather than
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| chose | choose |
| eligable | eligible |
| admisstions | admissions |
| fakher | Fakhar |
| dicsipline | discipline |
| scholors | scholars |
Grammatical Mistakes
12 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| subjects that has more prospects | subjects that have more prospects | Subject-verb agreement: 'subjects' is plural and requires 'have' |
| both the arguments has their pros and cons | both arguments have their pros and cons | Subject-verb agreement: 'arguments' is plural and requires 'have' |
| choice subject make students good professionals | choosing subjects makes students good professionals | Awkward phrasing; corrected for subject-verb agreement and clarity |
| and and parental pressures | and parental pressures | Typographical error: extra 'and' removed |
| means that he/she is thinking | it means that he/she is thinking | Missing subject before 'means' |
| get in depth knowledge | get in-depth knowledge | Hyphen needed for compound adjective 'in-depth' |
| Mr fakher Imam known lawyer went to Law college | Mr. Fakhar Imam, a well-known lawyer, went to law college | Punctuation, capitalization, and article usage |
| if an individual surrender to their parents desire | if an individual surrenders to their parents' desire | Subject-verb agreement: 'individual' requires 'surrenders'; possessive form 'parents'' |
| are fixed to the myth | believe in the myth | Incorrect preposition; 'believe in' is appropriate |
| try their level best | try their best | Informal phrase; 'try their best' is standard |
| most get stressed but only few get through | most get stressed, but only a few get through | Missing comma and article 'a' before 'few' |
| it become forces study | it becomes forced study | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' requires 'becomes'; 'forced' is the correct adjective |
Vocabulary Improvements
14 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| prospects in future | future prospects | Better collocation in academic writing |
| choice subject | subjects of their choice | Vague term; corrected for clarity |
| get stuck between | are torn between | More precise and academic phrase |
| thinking out of the box | thinking innovatively | Informal idiom; 'thinking innovatively' is more formal |
| practical life | professional life | More specific term in this context |
| known lawyer | renowned lawyer | More formal and precise |
| surrender to | yield to | Better word choice for academic writing |
| fixed to the myth | adhere to the myth | Incorrect collocation; 'adhere to' is appropriate |
| try their level best | strive their hardest | Informal; 'strive their hardest' is more academic |
| get stressed | become stressed | Slightly more formal alternative |
| get through easily | succeed effortlessly | More precise and formal phrasing |
| achieve the target | achieve their goals | Vague; 'goals' is more specific |
| forces study | forced study | Incorrect word form; 'forced' is the correct adjective |
| do better in life professionally | excel professionally | Redundant; corrected for conciseness |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The task is partially achieved. Both views are presented, and a personal opinion is stated, but the development is superficial. The example provided (Mr. Fakher Imam) is relevant but not expanded upon. The conclusion is cut off, which weakens the response.
Examples
The essay states 'choice subject make students good professionals' without detailed reasoning. The conclusion ends abruptly with 'rather than', leaving the thought incomplete.
How to Improve
Fully develop each viewpoint with specific examples and explanations. Ensure the conclusion summarizes both sides and restates the opinion clearly without leaving sentences unfinished.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but coherence is hampered by awkward transitions and an incomplete ending. Paragraphing is present but could be more logically organized.
Examples
In the first body paragraph, there is a repetition: 'and and parental pressures'. The conclusion is incomplete, affecting the overall flow.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices (e.g., however, on the other hand) more effectively to link ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the conclusion is fully developed to provide closure.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but marred by spelling errors and some imprecise word choices. There is an attempt to use a range of terms, but accuracy is lacking.
Examples
Misspellings such as 'eligable' (eligible), 'admisstions' (admissions), 'dicsipline' (discipline), and 'scholors' (scholars). Awkward phrasing like 'choice subject' instead of 'choosing subjects'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary through reading and practice. Pay attention to correct spelling and use of words in context. Use a dictionary or spell-check tools to verify accuracy.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, including subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence structure issues. Sentences are mostly simple, with limited complex structures, and errors hinder clarity.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'should be free to chose' (choose), 'subjects that has' (have), 'both the arguments has' (have). Incomplete sentence: 'it become forces study like forced labour.'
How to Improve
Focus on grammar fundamentals, especially subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Practice writing complex sentences with correct punctuation and ensure sentences are complete. Review and edit work for errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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