This band 5 IELTS essay on urban funding presents a thoughtful discussion of both views but struggles with clarity and vocabulary. While it effectively identifies key points, underdeveloped ideas and frequent language errors hinder comprehension. Enhancing these aspects can significantly improve the overall quality of your writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· City Life Β· 40 min
Some people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (250 words) and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, ideas are underdeveloped, and frequent errors in vocabulary, grammar, and cohesion reduce clarity and impact.
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There is no doubt about how important the two for the human being life style . evry one of us should have an optimal healthcare system , equal eduaction opportunities and infrastructure that ensures all the utilities are available for all the people , so me and the first type of people stand on cummon ground. On the other hand no one can deny the importance of the recreational and entertainment events , the different types of art and the cultural enforement , that is why i am totally covinced by the others point of view. Therefore, I shaped a point of view mixed of the two . we must prioritize the first services over the second by allocating the larger quota of the funds to it which can suffice those sevices in an optimal way , So those people can live an urban life which is not possible without those services. The rest of the funds could go to the reacreational investments and the cultural aspect of the life rationally ,and to be fairly divided among the different types of art, sport events according to the sociatal interest based on an conducted surveys ,polls and researchs . that will ensure the sociatal consent. Since the two types of people coexist with each other, so the both should respect the two point of view , and by that we can get to the point that satisfy everyone and provide for every one the services that suit different style of life
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| evry | every |
| eduaction | education |
| cummon | common |
| enforement | enrichment |
| covinced | convinced |
| reacreational | recreational |
| sociatal | societal |
| researchs | research |
| sevices | services |
Grammatical Mistakes
12 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| how important the two for the human being life style | how important both are for human lifestyle | Missing verb and article misuse; 'both are' completes the clause |
| so me and the first type of people | so I and the first type of people | Pronoun case error; 'I' should be used as subject |
| i am | I am | Capitalization error; 'I' should be capitalized |
| by the others point of view | by the other's point of view | Possessive form needed; 'other's' indicates belonging |
| mixed of the two | combining both | Preposition error; 'mixed of' is incorrect; 'combining' is more appropriate |
| allocating the larger quota of the funds to it | allocating the larger portion of the funds to them | Pronoun agreement; 'services' is plural, so 'them' should be used instead of 'it' |
| So those people | so those people | Sentence structure error; 'so' should not start a new sentence here |
| and to be fairly divided | and be fairly divided | Infinitive phrase not properly connected; 'be divided' fits better |
| based on an conducted surveys | based on conducted surveys | Article misuse; 'an' is unnecessary before a plural noun |
| so the both should respect | both should respect | Redundancy and article error; 'since' already implies cause, so 'so' is redundant, and 'the both' should be 'both' |
| the two point of view | the two points of view | Pluralization needed; 'point of view' should be pluralized as 'points of view' |
| that satisfy everyone | that satisfies everyone | Subject-verb agreement; 'point' is singular, so verb should be 'satisfies' |
Vocabulary Improvements
13 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| human being life style | human lifestyle | Awkward phrasing; 'lifestyle' is more concise and standard |
| utilities | essential services | Vague; in context, 'utilities' is too narrow; 'essential services' is clearer |
| cultural enforement | cultural enrichment | Incorrect word choice; 'enrichment' is more appropriate for cultural context |
| shaped a point of view | developed a perspective | Informal; 'developed' is more academic than 'shaped' |
| larger quota | larger share | Wrong collocation; 'quota' implies a fixed amount, while 'share' is better for funds |
| suffice those sevices | support those services | Wrong verb choice; 'suffice' is not typically used transitively in this context; 'support' is better |
| cultural aspect of the life | cultural aspects of life | Article misuse and pluralization; 'aspects' should be plural, and no 'the' before 'life' |
| rationally | judiciously | Slightly imprecise; 'judiciously' implies careful judgment, which fits fund allocation |
| sociatal interest | societal interests | After spelling correction, 'interests' should be plural to match various societal needs |
| researchs | research | Uncountable noun; no plural form |
| sociatal consent | social consensus | Incorrect word choice; 'consent' implies permission, while 'consensus' implies general agreement |
| get to the point | reach a consensus | Informal idiom; 'reach a consensus' is more formal and appropriate |
| different style of life | different lifestyles | Vague and informal; 'lifestyles' is more precise |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The writer identifies both sides of the argument and presents a clear opinion, but the discussion lacks depth and detailed development. Reasons and examples are not provided to support the views.
Examples
For instance, the importance of arts and culture is stated ('no one can deny the importance') but not explained with specific benefits or examples. The opinion to prioritize essential services is mentioned without elaboration on why this balance is necessary.
How to Improve
Expand each view with concrete examples (e.g., how arts improve mental health or community cohesion) and provide reasoned arguments for the prioritization of funds. Ensure both sides are discussed equally before presenting your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but paragraphing is unclear due to irregular spacing and poor linking. Cohesive devices are used but sometimes ineffectively.
Examples
Transitions like 'On the other hand' and 'Therefore' are used, but ideas are not logically connected between sentences. The text runs together without clear paragraph breaks, making it difficult to follow.
How to Improve
Organize ideas into distinct paragraphs: one for essential services, one for arts/culture, and one for your opinion. Use a range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'consequently') to improve flow and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource4.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors and inappropriate word choices. Some topic-related terms are used but inaccurately.
Examples
Misspellings: 'evry' (every), 'eduaction' (education), 'cummon' (common), 'covinced' (convinced), 'reacreational' (recreational), 'enforement' (likely 'enhancement'), 'sociatal' (societal), 'researchs' (research).
How to Improve
Learn and practice correct spelling of common academic words. Use a wider range of vocabulary related to urban development (e.g., 'public amenities', 'cultural institutions', 'social well-being'). Avoid repetition by using synonyms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4
Evaluation
Grammar is consistently inaccurate, with errors in sentence structure, articles, punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and capitalization. This significantly affects readability.
Examples
Incorrect articles: 'the two for the human being life style' (the two are for human lifestyle). Punctuation: spaces before periods, missing commas. Subject-verb agreement: 'me and the first type of people stand' (I and the first type of people stand). Run-on sentences: 'So those people can live...' is not properly connected.
How to Improve
Focus on basic sentence structure: subject-verb-object order. Practice using correct articles (a, an, the) and punctuation. Review subject-verb agreement rules. Write simpler sentences correctly before attempting complex structures.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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