This Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the allocation of urban services and arts investments. The main feedback highlights clarity issues and vocabulary limitations that hinder effective communication. Understanding these aspects can help improve your writing skills for a better score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· City Life Β· 40 min
Some people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (283 words) and addresses the topic by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, it suffers from limited development of ideas, basic vocabulary with errors, and grammatical mistakes that affect clarity. The overall performance aligns with Band 5.0.
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Some people come with the opinion that, community funds should br given to the necessary urban services, such as, to healthcare centers, education, and infrastructure. However, others believe, that for improving the urban life, the government should invest in arts, culture, and entertainment.
in my opinion, both have their importance. But the important services of life needs to be improved as compared to other things.
On one hand, government should allocate public fund to essential services to mprove the quality of life. If the government focuses on improving the healthcare centers, then there will be a reduction in the amount of diseases. When the rate of diseases comes down, then the number of patients wil be decreases. According to the WHO, there are 14500 healthcare centers in Pakistan. So, there is a need to increase healthcare centers. Secondly, education is the backbone of the country. If we have an educated generation, then the economy of the country will be raised. Educated youth work in the country and stabilize the economy.
On the other hand, different entertainment activities are also necessary for the country. Investment in arts, culture, and infrastructure is important. Art and culture are the recognition of the country. Every country is different from other countries on the basis of these two things. So investment in these is also necessary.
I believe that, investment on crucial services is much more important than other services. For instance, if government give funding to different healthcare centers and colleges, this will increase the chances of strong economy. The number of patients will be decreases and there will be more educated people on the country. Educated people later serve the country.
in conclusion, both are necessary
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| br | be |
| mprove | improve |
| wil | will |
Grammatical Mistakes
12 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| come with the opinion that, | are of the opinion that | Awkward phrasing and unnecessary comma |
| believe, that for improving the urban life | believe that to improve urban life | Comma misuse and article usage |
| in my opinion | In my opinion | Capitalization error |
| services of life needs to be improved | essential services need to be improved | Subject-verb agreement and vague phrasing |
| amount of diseases | number of diseases | Use 'number' for countable nouns |
| will be decreases | will decrease | Verb tense error; should be base form after 'will' |
| increase healthcare centers | increase the number of healthcare centers | Awkward collocation; need to specify 'number' |
| economy will be raised | economy will improve | Wrong verb; 'raise' is not typically used with economy |
| investment on crucial services | investment in crucial services | Preposition error; use 'in' for investment |
| if government give funding | if the government gives funding | Missing article and subject-verb agreement |
| chances of strong economy | likelihood of a strong economy | Article missing and informal word choice |
| on the country | in the country | Preposition error; use 'in' for location |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| come with the opinion | hold the opinion | Informal phrasing; use more formal alternative |
| necessary urban services | essential urban services | 'Essential' is more precise and academic |
| both have their importance | both are important | Awkward phrasing; simplify for clarity |
| different entertainment activities | various recreational activities | 'Different' is vague; 'recreational' is more specific |
| recognition of the country | cultural identity of the country | Wrong word choice; 'recognition' does not fit context |
| give funding | allocate funds | Informal verb; use more formal alternatives like 'allocate' |
| chances of strong economy | prospects for a strong economy | 'Chances' is informal; 'prospects' is more academic |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay covers both views and states an opinion, but the arguments are underdeveloped and somewhat repetitive. There is confusion in places, such as mentioning infrastructure in both essential and non-essential categories, which blurs the focus.
Examples
The example about WHO and Pakistan is provided but not effectively linked to the argument. The discussion on arts and culture is brief and lacks depth.
How to Improve
Extend each point with clearer explanations and relevant examples. Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before presenting a reasoned opinion. Avoid mixing categories; keep essential services (healthcare, education, infrastructure) separate from arts, culture, and entertainment.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but the flow is disjointed. Paragraphing is present but transitions between ideas are weak, affecting overall cohesion.
Examples
The shift from essential services to arts and culture is abrupt. Sentences like 'Secondly, education is the backbone of the country' are standalone without smooth links.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', 'On the other hand') to connect ideas logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that flow naturally.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors that detract from the message. There is limited range in word choice, and some terms are used inappropriately.
Examples
Misspellings: 'br' for 'be', 'mprove' for 'improve', 'wil' for 'will'. Repetition of 'important' and 'necessary'. Inaccurate phrasing: 'community funds' instead of 'public funds'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and context-appropriate words. Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to vary language, especially for common terms like 'important'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, including issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, with attempts at complexity that often result in mistakes.
Examples
Incorrect: 'the number of patients wil be decreases' (should be 'will decrease'). Awkward: 'Educated people later serve the country' (better: 'Educated people can later serve the country'). Missing articles: 'to healthcare centers' (should be 'to healthcare centers').
How to Improve
Practice verb forms and tenses. Work on subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the number... decreases'). Incorporate complex sentences with clauses, but ensure accuracy. Review article usage ('a', 'an', 'the') in context.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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