Achieving a Band 6.5 in IELTS requires solid writing skills, as demonstrated in this essay on income inequality. While it effectively discusses both views, some grammatical errors and issues with cohesion hold it back. Review the provided feedback to enhance your writing strength.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views on high incomes and presenting a clear opinion favoring progressive taxation over income caps. It meets the minimum word count requirement of 250 words (actual: 267 words). However, limitations in grammatical accuracy, spelling, and cohesion prevent higher band scores.
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The distribution of wealth is a defining issue of modern economic.While some people argue that uncapped salaries are a primary driver of innovation other contend that government-imposed income limit are necessary for social harmony.In my view , while high earnings are essential for motivation,governments should impose progressive taxation to ensure a balanced society.
On the onehand, proponets of high income argue that the prospects of financial gain is the most effective catalyst for innovation.When individuals are permitted to accumulate significant wealth,they are more likely to undertake high entrapreneural risk venturies.Consequently, the resulting creation of new industries provide thousands of employement opportunities ,which strengthen the national economy.Furthermore, substantial tax from top-tier earners provide necessary fundings for public infrastructure , benefiting the population as a whole.
On the otherhand, many believe that unchecked accumulation of riches can be detrimental.When a small ellite holds the majority of nations resoureces ,it often lead to the marginality of working class.This economic divide often fosters" title="Correction: economic divide often fosters">economic divide often foster deep social resentment ,leading to higher crime rates and acute political polarization.Therefore , advocates of income caps argue that the maximum implemention of wage would prevent such disparities and ensure a more equitable distribution of resources.
In my opinion, a rigid limit of earnings would likely stifle the spirit of competition that drives the progress.Instead , the focus should be on the progressive tax brackets.higher portion" title="Correction: By taxing a higher portion">By taxing ,higher portion of extreme wealth,the goverment can fund essential social saftey nets without removing incentives for hardwork.
In conclusion,while high income are vital for economic dynamism.Government must be managed to prevent social fragmentation.A balanced approach ensures individuals success and national stablity co-exist.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
16 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| economic | economy |
| onehand | one hand |
| proponets | proponents |
| entrapreneural | entrepreneurial |
| venturies | ventures |
| employement | employment |
| otherhand | other hand |
| ellite | elite |
| resoureces | resources |
| marginality | marginalization |
| implemention | implementation |
| goverment | government |
| saftey | safety |
| hardwork | hard work |
| stablity | stability |
| fundings | funding |
Grammatical Mistakes
15 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| other contend | others contend | 'other' should be 'others' to refer to other people. |
| income limit are | income limit is | Subject-verb agreement: 'limit' is singular, so 'is' should be used. |
| prospects of financial gain is | prospects of financial gain are | Subject-verb agreement: 'prospects' is plural, so 'are' should be used. |
| creation of new industries provide | creation of new industries provides | Subject-verb agreement: 'creation' is singular, so 'provides' should be used. |
| tax from top-tier earners provide | tax from top-tier earners provides | Subject-verb agreement: 'tax' is singular, so 'provides' should be used. |
| nations resoureces | nation's resources | Possessive form needed for 'nation' to show ownership. |
| it often lead to | it often leads to | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' is singular, so 'leads' should be used. |
| marginality of working class | marginalization of the working class | 'Marginalization' is the correct term, and article 'the' is needed before 'working class'. |
| economic divide often foster | economic divide often fosters | Subject-verb agreement: 'divide' is singular, so 'fosters' should be used. |
| maximum implemention of wage | implementation of income caps | 'Implementation' is the correct noun, and 'income caps' is the standard term for limiting earnings. |
| limit of earnings | limit on earnings | Preposition 'on' is more appropriate than 'of' for limits. |
| drives the progress | drives progress | Article 'the' is unnecessary before abstract noun 'progress'. |
| By taxing ,higher portion | By taxing a higher portion | Article 'a' is missing before 'higher portion', and extra comma should be removed. |
| high income are | high income is | Subject-verb agreement: 'income' is uncountable and singular, so 'is' should be used. |
| ensures individuals success | ensures individual success | Possessive form needed: 'individual' should be used as an adjective or with apostrophe for possession. |
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| entrapreneural risk venturies | entrepreneurial ventures | 'Risk venturies' is not a standard collocation; 'entrepreneurial ventures' is more appropriate. |
| substantial tax | substantial tax revenue | 'Tax' alone can be vague; 'tax revenue' is more precise in economic context. |
| riches | wealth | 'Riches' is less formal than 'wealth' in academic writing. |
| small ellite | small elite group | 'Elite' alone can be vague; adding 'group' clarifies the meaning. |
| higher portion | larger proportion | 'Proportion' is more precise than 'portion' when discussing parts of a whole in economics. |
| hardwork | hard work | 'Hard work' should be written as two words for correct usage. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The response adequately covers both perspectives: the benefits of high incomes for innovation and economy, and the need for limits to ensure social harmony. A clear opinion is given, and ideas are developed with relevant examples.
Examples
For example, it mentions that high incomes drive entrepreneurial risk-taking and create employment, while also noting that wealth concentration can lead to social resentment and crime.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more detailed or real-world examples to strengthen arguments, and ensure that all points are fully elaborated to enhance depth.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, an opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is occasionally disrupted by misspelled linking words and awkward transitions.
Examples
Misspellings like 'onehand' and 'otherhand' instead of 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand'. The conclusion sentence is somewhat fragmented: 'Government must be managed to prevent social fragmentation.'
How to Improve
Use correct linking words and phrases (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'in contrast') to improve flow. Ensure that paragraphs are connected smoothly, and revise sentence structures for clarity.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
There is a good range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'uncapped salaries', 'catalyst for innovation', and 'progressive taxation'. However, frequent spelling errors reduce the effectiveness.
Examples
Spelling errors: 'entrapreneural' (entrepreneurial), 'employement' (employment), 'ellite' (elite), 'resoureces' (resources), 'saftey' (safety), 'stablity' (stability).
How to Improve
Proofread carefully to correct spelling mistakes. Expand vocabulary with more precise terms and use a dictionary or spell-check tool to ensure accuracy.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay attempts a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally affect clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect prepositions, and punctuation errors.
Examples
Grammatical errors: 'the distribution of wealth is a defining issue of modern economic' (should be 'modern economy' or 'modern economics'); 'high income are vital' (should be 'high incomes are vital'); missing commas or incorrect usage, e.g., 'In my view , while'.
How to Improve
Focus on grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage. Practice constructing error-free complex sentences and review punctuation rules. Consider grammar exercises or feedback from a teacher.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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