This band 6.5 IELTS essay analyzes the impact of robots on human development, discussing both views on their importance and societal risks. While the essay meets the task requirements, it shows areas for improvement in coherence and grammatical accuracy, including frequent errors and the need for better transitions between ideas.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · Technology · 40 min
Some people believe robots are important for human development, others think they harm society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User. The essay successfully discusses both views on the topic and presents an opinion, effectively meeting the task response requirements with 315 words. The argumentation is generally clear, although some points could be further elaborated. Coherence and cohesion are generally good, though transitions and connections between ideas could be smoother. Lexical resource is adequate, with some errors and limitations in vocabulary use. Grammatical accuracy is compromised by frequent errors, affecting fluency yet not obscuring meaning.
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In recent years, it is widely debated whether robots play a crucial role in human development or whether they damage soceity. Both school of thought could be true on their own rights and I belive this trend is largely positive development in the long run.
The main argument in favour of importance of robots is that they can save both time and money. In other words, cutting-edge robots, nowadays, can complete the tasks in a short period of time compared to people since they are not prone to loose consentration. In addition, such machines requires lower maintanence cost, resulting saving a significant amount of money that needs to be paid to human workers. For example, one of the biggest delivery company, Amazon, hired a swarm of robots. As a result, this company's income is increased dramatically due to precise and fast works doing by these machines. Another postive side is that robots save many people's lives. This is means that such machines are completing tasks that are dangerous for humans. For instance, in China a lot of drone robots are being sent to the dangerous zones to halt the criminals.
The opposite argument is that these robots are put the society in danger, according to some people. That is to say, when employers start hiring robots instead of individuals, the number of unemployed people increase dramatically. Consequently, when people don't have a job, they cannot not only provide themselves and families but also pay taxes to the governmetn. While poverty rates increase around a country, governmetn funding startes to decrease due to low number of tax payers. For example, a significant number of people lost their job as a result of robots.
In conclusion, although the poverty rate grows and the public purse decrease as a result of robots, I believe that these auotonom machines save individuals' lives as well as their time and money.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
8 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| soceity | society |
| belive | believe |
| consentration | concentration |
| maintanence | maintenance |
| postive | positive |
| govermetn | government |
| startes | starts |
| auotonom | autonomous |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Both school of thought could | Both schools of thought could | Subject-verb agreement: 'Both' requires plural 'schools' |
| such machines requires | such machines require | Subject-verb agreement: 'machines' is plural and requires 'require' |
| this company's income is increased | this company's income has increased | Tense correction: Present perfect tense is used for actions that have a present result |
| This is means that | This means that | Redundant 'is' before 'means' |
| these robots are put the society in danger | these robots put society in danger | Incorrect usage of 'are' with 'put'; 'put' itself is a verb |
| unemployed people increase | unemployed people increases | Subject-verb agreement: 'number' is singular and requires 'increases' |
| save individuals' lives | saves individuals' lives | Subject-verb agreement: 'machines' is singular and should be 'saves' |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| widely debated | hotly debated | 'Hotly debated' conveys a stronger sense of ongoing public debate |
| dangerous zones | high-risk areas | 'High-risk areas' is a more formal and precise term |
| public purse | public funds | 'Public funds' is a more standard term in formal contexts |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay addresses all parts of the task, clearly presenting both views and providing a personal opinion.
Examples
The essay explains advantages such as saving time and money and life-saving capabilities, as well as disadvantages like increasing unemployment.
How to Improve
Provide more depth in the analysis of both views, giving specific examples and evidence to support each point.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
Ideas are logically organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs need more internal cohesion.
Examples
The essay uses linking words like 'in other words' and 'for example,' yet transitions between paragraphs are abrupt.
How to Improve
Improve the transition between ideas and paragraphs using more variety in cohesive devices and ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is generally adequate but lacks precision and includes several spelling mistakes.
Examples
Errors such as 'soceity', 'consentration', 'maintanence', 'governmetn', and 'auotonom' are present.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and precise terms. Practice spelling to improve accuracy.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex structures, yet frequent grammatical errors are present.
Examples
Incorrect uses include 'are put the society in danger', 'requires lower maintanence cost', and 'machines requires'.
How to Improve
Focus on subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and tense consistency. Regularly practice writing to improve grammatical accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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