This Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the freedom of university students in choosing subjects. While the essay effectively presents both perspectives, it suffers from coherence issues and lacks varied vocabulary, impacting overall clarity and engagement.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both perspectives and providing a clear opinion. However, coherence and cohesion are sometimes disrupted by awkward transitions, and a more varied lexical resource could enhance the argument. Grammatical inaccuracies are present but do not impede overall comprehension.
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Nowadays, some people argue that university students should be free to choose their own subjects, while the other people believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. I believe that students should have the freedom the choose their own subjects. In this essay, I will discuss both these perspectives and propose my own view.
On the one hand, some people assume that the university students should be allowed to choose their own subject. The most compelling reason is that students are more motivated and focused on class when they are keen on that subject like some people feel happy and satisfied when they do their favourite activities. In addition, student can choose classes based on individual interest, so they may more focus on classes and do not get bored to do the assignments as each students has unique passion and areas of expertise they want to explore further.
On the other hand, some argue that students should be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. This is because these fields are expected to grow in the future and will provide students with better jobs chances. Additionally, they can get more chances when they find jobs. When they are accepted the job offer, they may get more salary because using AI is very widely and useful in the office.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that students should be free to choose their own subjects because it allows them to explore their interests and passions, which can lead to increased motivation and engagement in their studies.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
0 errorsNo spelling mistakes found.
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the other people believe | other people believe | Article misuse: 'the' is unnecessary as the sentence is referring to people in general. |
| the freedom the choose | the freedom to choose | Incorrect preposition: 'to' should be used after 'freedom' to link to a verb. |
| university students should be | university students should | Redundant 'be': Either should 'be' omitted or conjugate the following verb. |
| student can choose | students can choose | Subject-verb agreement: 'students' is plural and requires 'can'. |
| each students has | each student has | Subject-verb agreement: 'each student' is singular and requires 'has'. |
| are accepted the job offer | accept the job offer | Incorrect verb form: 'are accepted' should be 'accept' for active voice. |
| using AI is very widely | the use of AI is widespread | Incorrect phrase: Rephrase for clarity and correctness in context. |
Vocabulary Improvements
1 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| better jobs chances | better job prospects | Alternative phrase: 'Job prospects' is more academically appropriate. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
7
Evaluation
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
Examples
The writer discusses the motivation of students when they choose their subjects and the career prospects of focusing on science and technology.
How to Improve
Further elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
6.5
Evaluation
The essay is generally coherent with logical progression but lacks smooth transitions between ideas.
Examples
Phrases such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used correctly, but sentences within paragraphs could connect more fluidly.
How to Improve
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the flow between sentences and sections.
Lexical Resource
6.5
Evaluation
The range of vocabulary is adequate but not particularly varied. There is some repetition of words.
Examples
Terms like 'subjects,' 'students,' and 'jobs chances' are repeated.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable.
Examples
Errors include 'student can choose' and 'each students has unique passion.'
How to Improve
Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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