This Band 6.5 IELTS essay explores the debate on whether university students should choose their own subjects. Key feedback highlights issues with depth and grammar, particularly in supporting arguments and ensuring clarity.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task and discusses both views, but it falls slightly short of the required word count (249 vs. 250). While the ideas are relevant and logical, they lack sufficient depth and development. There are also issues with grammar, spelling, and word choice that affect clarity and precision.
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The debate on whether university students should have the freedom to choose subjects or limit their studies to subjects that are relevant to their future careers is critical at a time when professional efficiency is declining and mental health concerns cases keep increasing. While both sides of the argument seem to have valid justifications, I believe that university curriculums should integrate both mandatory courses that are relevant to the field of study, and also give students the freedom to choose subjects that align with their personal interests and value systems.
Research shows that student acamic experience that is entirely curated by the university contributes to mental health challenges and produces professional who are not fulfilled with their careers. To begin with, research shows that, student interest is a critical factor in curricular success. Every student has unique, personal values and interests that make them feel fulfiled once endulged. Giving students the option to choose subjects that align with their personal values and interests ensures that students find satisfaction in their time being in university, but also, fulfilment in their professional careers.
On the other hand, every field of study has foundational principles that must be learnt by students who will be experts in that field. For example, mathermatics is a critical subject for any engineering field. Therefore, making mathematics mandatory ensures that enginineering professional gain the critical thinking abilities that will enable them to thrive in the field. This is why integrated both sides of the argument is crucial.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| acamic | academic |
| fulfiled | fulfilled |
| endulged | indulged |
| mathermatics | mathematics |
| enginineering | engineering |
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| research shows that, student interest | research shows that student interest | Unnecessary comma after a conjunction 'that' |
| produces professional who are not fulfilled | produces professionals who are not fulfilled | Noun number agreement: 'professionals' should be plural |
| integrated both sides | integrating both sides | Verb form needed for continuous action within the context |
Vocabulary Improvements
1 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| students find satisfaction in their time being in university | students find satisfaction during their time at university | Improper collocation and phrase; 'during their time at university' is more academic |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion. However, the discussion lacks depth and detailed examples to fully support the points made. Additionally, the essay is slightly under the required word count.
Examples
The point about mental health challenges and career fulfillment is valid but not elaborated with specific evidence or examples. Similarly, the argument about foundational principles in fields like engineering is mentioned but not expanded.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments. Ensure the essay meets the minimum word count by adding depth to your points.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the conclusion is underdeveloped.
Examples
The transition between the discussion of mental health and career fulfillment could be smoother. The conclusion briefly mentions integrating both views but does not summarize the main points effectively.
How to Improve
Use linking phrases to improve the flow between ideas. Develop the conclusion to summarize the key arguments and reinforce your opinion.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are several spelling errors and instances of awkward phrasing that reduce clarity.
Examples
Errors include 'acamic' (academic), 'fulfiled' (fulfilled), 'endulged' (indulged), and 'enginineering' (engineering). Phrases like 'student interest is a critical factor in curricular success' could be rephrased for better clarity.
How to Improve
Proofread carefully to eliminate spelling errors. Use more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect readability and accuracy.
Examples
Errors include 'student acamic experience that is entirely curated by the university contributes to mental health challenges' (missing article and awkward phrasing) and 'produces professional who are not fulfilled' (should be 'professionals').
How to Improve
Focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Review grammar rules and practice writing to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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