This band 6 IELTS essay on advertising discusses both views but encounters clarity and organizational issues. While it meets the task requirements, more development and clear separation of opinion are needed for better coherence.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · Advertising · 40 min
Advertising is everywhere; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some argue that advertising is a constructive element of our lives, while others argue that it is a bad component of our lives. Discuss both points of view and express your own.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives on advertising and provides a personal opinion, meeting the task requirement. However, the opinion is somewhat vague and could be more clearly developed. The structure is logical but contains some organizational issues, such as mixing views in the first body paragraph. Vocabulary is functional but contains noticeable spelling errors and limited range. Grammatical accuracy is inconsistent, with several errors that affect clarity. Word count (373) exceeds the minimum of 250, which is sufficient.
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Due to massive competition in the marketing field, most sellers resort to advertise their products. Advertising is therefore widespread and cannot be avoided in our lives. While a segment of individuals believe that it is beneficial, many people argue that it inegatively impacts our lives. This essay will discuss both views and explain my perspective.
In general, new and improved products in the market are known to people through advertisements. It is for this reason that people buy them to try if what they say aboutthe product is true. However, some adverts could be misleading since they may give inaccurate information. This therefore negatively affects the consumers as they may not get value for money. In my pespective, every person has to take responsibility on what they decide, whether to believe in an advert or not because it affects our lives either positively or negatively.
On the one hand, the aim of every advert is to attract consumers and improve sales thereby leading to profits for the sellers. This is because when a product is new in the market, customers are made aware of it through this channel. The consumer then buys the product either to try it or compare it with other existing brands. For example, if there is a new brand of bread in the country, buyers are informed through radio, television, or social media platforms. This is therefore beneficial in our lives as both the buyers and the sellers meet their objectives of getting what they need and profits respectively.
On the other hand, some adverts could mislead the public hence affecting our lives. This is because, they could give false information about a product. For instance, a company in Kenya once advertised a brand of yorghout as having no added sugars which upon testing indicated that it had 3% sweeteners. After that revelation, the consumers avoided the product and the sales dropped resulting to losses for the company. This is therefore a clear indication that some advertisements have negative effects on our lives.
In conclusion, as much as adverts are part of our lives, it is prudent to gauge which one is beneficial. Also, every person should be wary of those that can have negative impact in their lives.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| inegatively | negatively |
| pespective | perspective |
| yorghout | yogurt |
| aboutthe | about the |
Grammatical Mistakes
4 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| resort to advertise | resort to advertising | After the preposition 'to', a gerund is required, not the bare infinitive. |
| take responsibility on | take responsibility for | The correct preposition with 'responsibility' is 'for', not 'on'. |
| resulting to | resulting in | The verb 'result' takes the preposition 'in' to indicate an outcome, not 'to'. |
| negative impact in | a negative impact on | The countable noun 'impact' requires an article, and the correct preposition is 'on' when referring to effects on something. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| massive competition | intense competition | 'Massive' is informal; 'intense' is more precise and academic for describing competition. |
| advert | advertisement | 'Advert' is informal; 'advertisement' is the standard formal term. |
| segment of individuals | group of people | 'Segment of individuals' sounds overly technical and awkward; 'group of people' is more natural. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay discusses both positive and negative views of advertising and includes the writer's own opinion. However, the opinion ('every person has to take responsibility') is not fully elaborated or strongly argued. The examples (new bread brand, misleading yogurt ad) are relevant but could be better integrated to support the discussion. The response covers the prompt but lacks depth in development.
Examples
The positive view is presented in paragraph 3 (new bread brand example), and the negative view in paragraph 4 (yogurt with hidden sugars example). The opinion is stated in paragraph 2 and conclusion, but it is not consistently maintained.
How to Improve
To improve, ensure that your own opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and developed in a separate paragraph. Provide more detailed reasoning or evidence to support your stance. Avoid mixing both views and your opinion in one paragraph early in the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs (though the first body paragraph is somewhat confused), and a conclusion. Some cohesive devices are used ('On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'), but they are limited and the flow between ideas is sometimes choppy. The first body paragraph introduces both views and the writer's opinion too early, disrupting coherence.
Examples
The transition from paragraph 2 (general discussion) to paragraph 3 ('On the one hand') is unclear because paragraph 2 already introduces positive aspects. The use of 'This is because...' and 'For instance' provides some internal cohesion but is repetitive.
How to Improve
Organize your essay with a clear structure: one paragraph for positive views, one for negative views, and a separate paragraph or final section for your own opinion. Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Conversely', 'In contrast') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but limited in range and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'inegatively', 'pespective', 'yorghout', 'advert' used repeatedly). Some collocations are incorrect ('resort to advertise' should be 'resort to advertising'). There is some attempt at formal vocabulary ('prudent', 'wary'), but errors reduce the overall impact.
Examples
Correct forms: 'misleading', 'consumers', 'profits', 'objectives'. Errors: 'inegatively' (negatively), 'abouthe' (about the), 'yorghout' (yogurt), 'pespective' (perspective), 'advert' is acceptable but overused.
How to Improve
Work on spelling common words and proofread your essay. Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms for 'advertising' (e.g., 'promotion', 'commercials', 'marketing'). Use more precise and varied language to describe effects (e.g., 'detrimental', 'beneficial', 'deceptive'). Avoid repeating the same terms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay uses mostly simple and compound sentences. There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('resort to advertise'), missing prepositions, and awkward phrasing ('meet their objectives of getting what they need and profits respectively'). Punctuation is sometimes missing (e.g., after 'In conclusion'). While the meaning is generally clear, accuracy is inconsistent.
Examples
Errors: 'it inegatively impacts' (spelling/grammar), 'what they say aboutthe product' (spacing), 'every person has to take responsibility on what they decide' (should be 'for what they decide'), 'meet their objectives ... and profits' (parallelism issue). Correct structures: 'Advertising is therefore widespread' and 'This is because...' are fine.
How to Improve
Focus on subject-verb agreement, use of infinitive vs. gerund, and parallel structures. For example, 'resort to advertising' not 'advertise'. Practice writing complex sentences with subordinate clauses and ensure punctuation (commas, full stops) is used correctly. Proofread to catch typos and spelling mistakes.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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