This band 6 IELTS advertising essay discusses both views effectively but suffers from an incomplete conclusion. To enhance task response and coherence, it's crucial to fully articulate your opinion and provide a strong closing statement.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · Advertising · 40 min
Advertising is everywhere; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some argue that advertising is a constructive element of our lives, while others argue that it is a bad component of our lives. Discuss both points of view and express your own.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic and discusses both views with relevant ideas, but the conclusion is incomplete, leaving the opinion underdeveloped. This impacts task response and coherence. Lexical resource and grammatical range are strengths. The word count meets the minimum requirement (250 words).
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advertising has become an inseparable part of modern life, appearing on television, social media, websites, and even in public spaces. While some people believe that advertising plays a positive and constructive role in society, others argue that it has a harmful influence. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, advertising offers several important benefits. Firstly, it provides consumers with information about new products and services. Without advertisements, people might remain unaware of innovations that could improve their quality of life, such as more efficient technology or affordable healthcare products. Secondly, advertising encourages competition among companies. In order to attract customers, businesses are motivated to improve the quality of their products and offer competitive prices, which ultimately benefits consumers. In addition, advertising supports the media and entertainment industries, as many television programs, newspapers, and online platforms rely on advertising revenue to operate.
On the other hand, there are strong arguments against advertising. A major criticism is that it often promotes unnecessary consumption by persuading people to buy products they do not truly need. This can lead to materialism and financial stress, especially among young people. Moreover, some advertisements are misleading or exaggerated, creating unrealistic expectations about beauty, success, or happiness. Such messages may negatively affect self-esteem and mental well-being. Another concern is that children are particularly vulnerable to advertising, as they may not have the ability to distinguish between truthful information and persuasive tactics.
In my opinion, although advertising has certain negative aspects,
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
2 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| advertising | Advertising | Sentence should start with a capital letter. |
| In my opinion, although advertising has certain negative aspects, | In my opinion, although advertising has certain negative aspects, its overall impact is positive when regulated responsibly. | Sentence fragment: dependent clause without a main clause; requires completion to form a complete sentence. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay partially fulfills the task by discussing both perspectives on advertising, but fails to provide a complete opinion. The introduction sets up the discussion, and body paragraphs cover benefits and criticisms effectively. However, the opinion is only introduced in the final sentence without development or conclusion.
Examples
Body paragraphs discuss benefits (e.g., information, competition, media support) and drawbacks (e.g., unnecessary consumption, misleading ads, child vulnerability). The opinion starts with 'In my opinion, although advertising has certain negative aspects,' but is cut off, leaving no reasoned stance.
How to Improve
Ensure a full conclusion is written that summarizes the discussion and clearly states your own view with supporting reasons. Always complete the essay with a definitive opinion to fully address the task.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing and cohesive devices. However, the incomplete conclusion disrupts the overall flow and leaves the essay without a proper ending, affecting coherence.
Examples
Effective use of structural phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'On the other hand,' 'Moreover,' to link ideas. Paragraphs are logically ordered, but the abrupt ending after 'negative aspects' hinders cohesion.
How to Improve
Always include a complete concluding paragraph that restates main points and your opinion. Use concluding transitions (e.g., 'In conclusion') to signal the end and ensure a smooth flow.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
Demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with precise and appropriate word choice. No significant errors in lexical usage.
Examples
Words like 'inseparable,' 'constructive,' 'harmful influence,' 'innovations,' 'materialism,' 'vulnerable,' and 'persuasive tactics' are used effectively to convey ideas.
How to Improve
Continue to use varied vocabulary and consider incorporating more advanced or topic-specific terms to enhance lexical resource further.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7
Evaluation
Shows a variety of sentence structures with generally accurate grammar. The incomplete sentence in the conclusion is a noticeable flaw, but overall grammatical control is good.
Examples
Complex sentences are used correctly, such as 'While some people believe that advertising plays a positive...' and 'In order to attract customers, businesses are motivated to improve...' Tense usage and punctuation are appropriate.
How to Improve
Avoid incomplete sentences by ensuring all thoughts are fully expressed, especially in the conclusion. Proofread to maintain grammatical accuracy throughout.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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