This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the allocation of city funding between essential services and cultural investments. While it addresses both views, it falls short in argument development and slightly misses the required word count, which are key areas for improvement.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · City Life · 40 min
Some people believe that city governments should allocate public funds only to essential urban services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others argue that investment in arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for enhancing the quality of urban life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion, but it is slightly under the required word count (248 vs 250). Arguments are somewhat basic and not fully extended. Cohesion is adequate with clear paragraphing, but progression is mechanical. Vocabulary is sufficient but lacks variety, and grammar is accurate with a mix of simple and complex structures.
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Some people argue that governments should spend public money only on essential services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Others believe that funding arts, culture, and entertainment is equally important for improving the quality of life in cities. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that essential services should be the top priority for governments. Healthcare systems, for example, are vital for saving lives and ensuring a healthy population. Similarly, education plays a crucial role in developing skilled individuals who contribute to economic growth. Infrastructure, including roads and public transportation, is also necessary for daily life and business activities. Without sufficient funding in these areas, a city cannot function properly, and citizens may suffer from poor living conditions.
On the other hand, investing in arts and entertainment also brings significant benefits. Cultural activities such as museums, theatres, and festivals enhance people’s well-being and provide opportunities for relaxation and creativity. Moreover, these sectors can attract tourists, which boosts the local economy and creates jobs. A city without cultural life may become dull and less appealing to both residents and visitors.
In my opinion, while essential services must be prioritized, governments should not neglect arts and culture. A balanced approach is the best solution, where basic needs are fully met, and some funding is allocated to cultural development.
In conclusion, although essential services are fundamental, investment in arts and entertainment is also important for creating vibrant and livable cities.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and a clear opinion, but development is limited. The arguments are not fully extended, and the essay is slightly under the minimum word count.
Examples
The writer mentions healthcare, education, and infrastructure as essential services, and museums, theatres, and festivals for arts, but does not elaborate on their broader impacts or provide specific examples.
How to Improve
Extend each point with more detailed explanation and real-world examples. Ensure the essay meets the word count by exploring the implications of each view and providing deeper analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is organized into paragraphs with basic linking words, but the structure is somewhat predictable and the conclusion is very brief.
Examples
Uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to introduce paragraphs, but within paragraphs, ideas are listed without strong connections. The conclusion is only one sentence.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, consequently, in contrast). Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops it with supporting sentences. Write a more comprehensive conclusion that summarises the main points and restates the opinion.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and sophistication. Some words are repeated.
Examples
Repeated use of 'essential services', and common adjectives like 'vital', 'crucial', and 'necessary'. The word 'dull' is less common but overall range is limited.
How to Improve
Use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., 'critical', 'paramount', 'fundamental'). Incorporate more precise and topic-specific vocabulary related to urban development and cultural investment.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6.5
Evaluation
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with good accuracy. However, the range of structures is not wide.
Examples
Sentences like 'Healthcare systems, for example, are vital for saving lives and ensuring a healthy population' are grammatically correct but relatively simple. Some complex sentences are used but could be more varied.
How to Improve
Include a greater variety of sentence structures, such as conditional clauses (e.g., 'If governments invest in arts, ...'), passive voice, and more complex relative clauses to demonstrate grammatical flexibility.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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