This Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses income inequality and presents both views. While it covers essential arguments, it lacks coherence and depth in development, impacting overall clarity. Learn how to enhance your writing by addressing these issues.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · High Incomes · 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay provides a balanced discussion on the topic, but lacks depth in development and contains some coherence and grammatical inaccuracies. It meets the required word count of 254 words.
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People across the world earn different incomes, some earn very high incomes while others earn very low, this has led to the argument that the government should limit peoples earnings while other believe that they should be left like that because its beneficial to the nation. This essay is going to discuss both these views before I give my opinion.
On one hand, people making too much money more than others leads to higher investment in the nation. When people in a society make high income, they tend to develop the areas they live which ends up creating employment opportunities for locals. Some people invest t in big industries that result in the overall increase in the country`s GDP.
On the other hand, the idea of people making too much money than others creates a large contrast between the rich and the poor. When people make too much money they tend to move to rich communities. If there are no rich communities in the area they develop them thereby increasing the land value in their communities. Increase in land value by the rich will result in the poor not being able to afford to live in these area because, in some areas the prices of commodities as well as the cost of living will increase.
In conclusion, high income people should not be limited by the government on the amount of money they make, but the government can govern how they develop and make sure that they will not affect the other income levels.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| while other believe | while others believe | Pronoun agreement: 'other' should be plural to agree with 'others' |
| should be left like that | should be left like this | Incorrect demonstrative pronoun: 'this' aligns better with 'should be left' |
| this has led | this has led to | Missing preposition: 'led' is usually followed by 'to' |
| people making too much money more than others | people making much more money than others | Word order: 'much more money' is a clearer comparative structure |
| people making too much money than others | people making much more money than others | Word order: 'much more money' is a clearer comparative structure |
| Increase in land value by the rich | An increase in land value by the rich | Missing article: 'Increase' should be preceded by 'An' |
| live in these area | live in these areas | Noun plurality: 'area' should be plural to agree with 'these' |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| very high incomes | substantially high incomes | Vague term; 'substantially' provides a clearer measure |
| very low | significantly low | Vague term; 'significantly' gives a clearer quantification |
| move to rich communities | relocate to affluent communities | More formal vocabulary: 'relocate' and 'affluent' are more formal alternatives |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses both views of the topic and provides an opinion, which is essential for a task 2 response. However, the arguments could be developed more thoroughly.
Examples
The essay mentions investment and GDP growth as benefits of high incomes and the socio-economic divide as a disadvantage, but these points lack supporting details.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point to better develop the arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Transitional phrases are present, but some ideas are not clearly connected.
Examples
The transition between discussing investment and the socio-economic divide needs more clarity.
How to Improve
Improve coherence by using clearer topic sentences and linking phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but lacks variety and precision.
Examples
Uses phrases like "high income" and "develop the areas" repeatedly without much variation.
How to Improve
Expand the range of vocabulary by incorporating more varied and specific terms related to income inequality and economic development.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
There is a fair range of grammatical structures, but errors are present that affect clarity.
Examples
Errors in punctuation (e.g., lack of commas in complex sentences) and subject-verb agreement are evident.
How to Improve
Review grammatical rules related to sentence structure and punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences correctly.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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