This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the contentious issue of government income limits. While the user presents a coherent opinion, it suffers from clarity and underdevelopment of arguments, particularly on the opposing view. These factors hinder effective communication of ideas, making this a valuable study for IELTS aspirants.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words (311 words actual). It addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, but the discussion of the view that governments should limit incomes is underdeveloped. There are frequent lexical and grammatical errors that sometimes hinder clarity.
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In many nations some individuals have exceptionally high earning, some believe that this is good for the country but other think that the state should cap their income. This essay belives that state" title="Correction: high earnings of individuals are more beneficial to the state">high earning of individual results in more beneficial to the state but widen the gap in status. Having said that, in my opinion high earners are the asset of the state and should be encouraged.
To earn more money requires a lot of effort, hard work and dedication along with know how of the business one is doing. High earners are very few among nationals of a countery. These are considered an assets by the state because their vast business creat jobs for the locals and helps in the development of infrastructure of the area. Furthermore, the revenue generated is reinvested resulting in expansion, industrialization and ultimately more vacancies. These high earners are the backbone of the state economy as they contribute huge amount of money to the government in the form of taxes. For instance a Real state developer Mr Riaz in Pakistan give handsome amount of Tax and run many social projects.
However, despite all contribution to the national development, the the drawback is that more money results in a wide gap in the status with other individuals that creats an element of mental complex among others. To reduce this gap government should take steps in the form of enhancement of taxes step wise corresponding with the growth of capital and should enforce special benefits for the workers.
In conclusion, some people earn more money because of their hard work and business acquamin, although some are in favor of restricting their income but in my opinion people who earn more are good for the country because they contribute handsome amount to the traesury of government in the form of taxes and should be facilitated by the state.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| belives | believes |
| countery | country |
| assets | asset |
| state | estate |
| acquamin | acumen |
| traesury | treasury |
| creats | creates |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| high earning of individual results in more beneficial to the state | high earnings of individuals are more beneficial to the state | Subject-verb agreement and adjective usage: 'earnings' is plural requiring 'are', and 'beneficial' is an adjective, not a noun. |
| but widen the gap in status | but it widens the gap in social status | Incomplete clause; needs a subject and verb for grammatical correctness. |
| an assets | an asset | Article misuse: 'an' must be followed by a singular noun. |
| creat jobs | creates jobs | Subject-verb agreement: 'business' is singular, so verb should be 'creates'. |
| contribute huge amount of money | contribute a huge amount of money | Missing article 'a' before 'huge amount'. |
| give handsome amount of Tax and run | gives a significant amount of tax and runs | Subject-verb agreement: 'Mr Riaz' is singular, so verbs should be 'gives' and 'runs'; also, 'tax' should not be capitalized. |
| the the drawback | the drawback | Unnecessary repetition of 'the'. |
| although some are in favor of restricting their income but | although some are in favor of restricting their income, | Incorrect conjunction use: 'although' and 'but' should not be used together; remove 'but' to avoid redundancy. |
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| handsome amount | substantial amount | Too informal; 'handsome' is colloquial when referring to money, so use more academic terms. |
| know how | know-how | Informal compound; hyphenate for correctness or use 'expertise'. |
| mental complex | inferiority complex | Vague phrasing; 'inferiority complex' is more precise for psychological effects of status disparity. |
| step wise | gradually | Informal or non-standard; use more formal adverbs like 'gradually' or 'in stages'. |
| enforce special benefits | provide special benefits | Wrong collocation; 'enforce' is used for rules or laws, while 'provide' is appropriate for benefits. |
| Real state | real estate | Incorrect collocation; the standard term is 'real estate' for property business. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay covers both views and states an opinion, but the argument for limiting incomes is not fully explored. The benefits of high earners are detailed with an example, while the opposing view is only briefly mentioned in relation to income gap and tax solutions.
Examples
For example, the second body paragraph starts with 'However, despite all contribution...' and quickly moves to government steps without discussing why some people believe in limits. The opinion is clear but could be more balanced.
How to Improve
To improve, fully develop both perspectives. For the view that governments should limit incomes, discuss reasons such as reducing inequality, promoting social cohesion, or preventing economic monopolies. Provide examples or evidence to support this side before presenting your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are some coherence issues, such as awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. Paragraphing is logical but could be enhanced with better linking devices.
Examples
The introduction states two points but the body paragraphs separate them, which is good. However, phrases like 'Having said that' in the introduction are not clearly linked. Also, 'the the drawback' contains a repetition that disrupts flow.
How to Improve
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'in contrast') to clearly signal contrasts. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow smoothly within and between paragraphs. Proofread to avoid repetitions.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, but with several inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and collocation. Some terms are informal or incorrectly used.
Examples
Misspellings: 'countery' for 'country', 'traesury' for 'treasury', 'acquamin' for 'acumen'. Inappropriate word: 'handsome amount' is informal; 'mental complex' might be 'inferiority complex'. Correct terms like 'infrastructure' and 'industrialization' are used.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts and practicing word forms. Use a dictionary to check spelling and usage. Avoid informal expressions in academic writing. Focus on precise vocabulary related to economics, such as 'income disparity', 'tax revenue', 'wealth distribution'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are frequent grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, articles, tense, and sentence structure. These errors sometimes affect readability.
Examples
Errors: 'high earning of individual results' (should be 'high earnings of individuals result'), 'an assets' (should be 'an asset'), 'creat jobs' (should be 'create jobs'), 'give handsome amount of Tax' (should be 'pays a significant amount of tax').
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, especially for subject-verb agreement, articles, and plural forms. Practice writing complex sentences with correct punctuation. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors. Consider using grammar checking tools or seeking feedback.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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