In this band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay on income limitation, the candidate discusses differing opinions on high salaries. While the essay meets the word count and presents both views, it suffers from clarity issues and underdeveloped arguments that could be improved with more relevant examples and a clearer structure.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (368 words) and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and there are issues with vocabulary accuracy, grammatical errors, and coherence that affect clarity.
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Money is the most important and crucial resource in this fast-paced world. Population residing in foreign countries have exceptionally high salaries.Some people opine that it can give a distinct advantage to the country, while others think that the state should interfere and reduce the money that people make. In this essay, I will give statements that supports both views.
On the one hand, Some people argue that the employees with very high earnings can be an upside for many countries. These population can attract more expensive brands to the nation considering that they have high-standards of living.On top of that, These companies can bring huge,expensive resouces to the country that they cannot deny.Secondly, the rentals provided by these companies can eventually benifit the nation where they have assembled their production plant.
An quintessential example is the nation of Monaco. Even though the surface area of this nation is quite minimal, it is the most expensive country in the world as they host f-1 racing with the swiss company called Rolex.these f-1 matches directly provide an edge for the host country with huge amount of cash.Thus,Influential people can benifit the country where they are residing by moving multiple unicorns.
On the other hand, it is also considered that the elected comitte should create a threshold on how much money people can make.Clearly, it is said to avoid handful of people getting more power than expected.Furthermore, it will make poor more poorer and rich more richer , which can have a serious repurcussions.They can use the money to overpower all the people in the state, resulting in the inconsistancies in the nation.On top of that, if they reach to the top positions, they will ensure that the people with whom they are closely related should only get promotion, showing biasness.This will decrease the talent that comes from hardships and gradually their will be no one with the fine skill.For instance,If an manager selects his family member fo
Thus, goverment should ensure that their should be no biasness towards anyone.
To sum it up,population with high incomes are an essential assest for the nation, However to prevent some people to take unfair sides, goverment should limit how much each person makes.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| benifit | benefit |
| resouces | resources |
| comitte | committee |
| repurcussions | repercussions |
| inconsistancies | inconsistencies |
| biasness | bias |
| goverment | government |
| assest | asset |
| fo | for |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Population residing in foreign countries have | The population residing in foreign countries has | Subject-verb agreement: 'population' is singular, so use 'has' instead of 'have'. |
| statements that supports | statements that support | Subject-verb agreement: 'statements' is plural, so verb should be 'support'. |
| These population | This population | 'Population' is singular, so 'this' should be used instead of 'these'. |
| high-standards of living | high standards of living | No hyphen needed; 'standards of living' is a phrase without hyphenation. |
| an quintessential example | a quintessential example | Article misuse: 'a' is used before consonant sounds; 'quintessential' starts with /kw/ sound, a consonant. |
| make poor more poorer and rich more richer | make the poor poorer and the rich richer | Comparative form error: 'poorer' and 'richer' are already comparative; do not use 'more' with them. Also, articles 'the' are needed. |
| a serious repurcussions | serious repercussions | Article error: 'repercussions' is plural, so no indefinite article 'a' should be used. |
| their will be no one | there will be no one | Wrong word: 'their' is possessive; 'there' indicates existence or location. |
| an manager | a manager | Article misuse: 'manager' starts with a consonant sound, so use 'a' instead of 'an'. |
| that their should be no biasness | that there should be no bias | Wrong word: 'their' should be 'there' for existence, and 'biasness' is non-standard; use 'bias'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
10 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| opine | believe | 'Opine' is very formal and less common in academic writing; 'believe' or 'argue' are more standard. |
| upside | advantage | Informal; use more formal alternatives like 'advantage' in academic context. |
| expensive brands | luxury brands | More precise term for high-end consumer goods; 'luxury' is commonly used in economics. |
| cannot deny | cannot be ignored | Informal phrasing; 'cannot be ignored' is more academic and neutral. |
| rentals | rental income | Vague; 'rental income' specifies the type of financial benefit from leasing. |
| edge | advantage | Informal; 'advantage' is more appropriate in formal writing for competitive benefit. |
| unicorns | high-value companies | Jargon that may be unclear; 'high-value companies' is clearer for general readers. |
| handful of people | a small group of people | Informal; 'a small group of people' is more formal and precise. |
| overpower | dominate | 'Overpower' can imply force; 'dominate' is better for economic or social control contexts. |
| take unfair sides | exhibit bias | Vague and informal; 'exhibit bias' is precise and formal for showing partiality. |
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Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and a clear opinion, but the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The examples provided are not always directly relevant or fully explained.
Examples
The first body paragraph discusses high earners attracting brands, but the example of Monaco and F1 racing focuses on corporate events rather than individual high incomes. The second body paragraph mentions limiting incomes to prevent bias, but the example is incomplete.
How to Improve
Ensure that each argument is supported with specific, relevant examples and detailed reasoning. Clearly link examples to the main points about high-income individuals and government limits.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by unclear connections and grammatical errors.
Examples
The transition from high earners to companies in the first body paragraph is abrupt. The second body paragraph ends with an incomplete sentence ('fo'), which breaks cohesion. Linking words like 'On top of that' are used but not always effectively.
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea. Employ a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, furthermore, consequently) to connect ideas smoothly. Proofread to ensure sentences are complete and logical.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but several spelling and word choice errors reduce accuracy and appropriateness.
Examples
Misspellings: 'benifit' (benefit), 'repurcussions' (repercussions), 'biasness' (bias). Incorrect article use: 'an quintessential' (a quintessential). Inappropriate collocation: 'expensive resouces' (expensive resources).
How to Improve
Proofread carefully for spelling errors. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to check word forms and collocations. Avoid non-standard terms like 'biasness'βuse 'bias' instead.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, affecting clarity. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with errors in articles, verb forms, and sentence completeness.
Examples
Incorrect subject-verb agreement: 'Population residing... have' (should be 'People residing... have' or 'The population... has'). Article errors: 'an manager' (a manager). Incomplete sentence: 'If an manager selects his family member fo'. Tense error: 'make poor more poorer' (make the poor poorer).
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially articles (a/an), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Practice writing complex sentences with correct punctuation. Proofread to eliminate fragments and run-on sentences.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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