This Band 6 IELTS essay addresses the debate on income limits, revealing common shortcomings such as underdeveloped arguments and weak structure. By exploring these issues, IELTS candidates can improve their writing skills and score higher.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · High Incomes · 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words (actual: 254) and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack depth, with limited examples and some repetition. The structure is basic but coherent, and language use is adequate with occasional errors.
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Many people work in different fields and often earn very high salaries today. However, there is an ongoing debate about whether high earnings are beneficial for the growth of a nation or the government should impose a limit on the salaries of individuals. In my opinion, it's the right of the people to exercise their hard-earned money, and there should not be limits on earnings.
On the one hand, people believe that the money that an individual earns from their day-to-day commitment helps in the country's progress. The more they earn, the more tax they will pay to the government, which automatically helps the government work. For instance, nowadays, many people work from home with companies around the world and are paid in dollars, which has helped in the nation's development.
On the other hand, some argue that there should be a limit on how much people should earn. It's a direct violation of the rights given to citizens of the country. Citizens should be allowed to exercise their earned salaries in their own way. Imposing a limit on salaries will also hinder the mindset and progress of the people. People will not be fully dedicated to the tasks they are working on, and this also affects their mental health.
In conclusion, every citizen of the country has the right to earn a living in their own way. The government shouldn't interfere in the work and set earning limits. This will not only harm the people but also affect the development of the nation.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
1 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| It's a direct violation of the rights given to citizens of the country. | Imposing such a limit would be a direct violation of the rights given to citizens. | Unclear pronoun reference; 'It's' does not have a clear antecedent in the previous sentence. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| exercise their hard-earned money | use their hard-earned money | Inappropriate collocation; 'exercise' is typically used with rights or options, not directly with 'money'; 'use' is more appropriate. |
| helps in the country's progress | contributes to the country's progress | Vague phrasing; 'contributes to' is more precise and academic in this context. |
| automatically helps the government work | thereby supports government functions | Informal and vague; 'thereby supports government functions' is more formal and clear. |
| hinder the mindset | hinder motivation | Incorrect collocation; 'mindset' is not typically hindered; 'motivation' is more appropriate for describing impediments to progress. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and a clear opinion, but the development is superficial. For instance, the benefit of high incomes is only linked to tax revenue, without exploring other aspects like economic growth or innovation. The opposing view is stated but not thoroughly analyzed, focusing primarily on rights without addressing economic equality or social impact.
Examples
Example from essay: 'The more they earn, the more tax they will pay to the government, which automatically helps the government work.' This is a simplistic argument that needs expansion. The example of people working from home for foreign companies is vague and unsupported.
How to Improve
Extend ideas by providing more detailed explanations and specific, relevant examples. For example, discuss how high earners might invest in businesses or contribute to charity. Also, consider counterarguments, such as income inequality, and address them to strengthen the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but the logical flow between ideas is weak. The body paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, and cohesive devices are basic and repetitive. Paragraph topics lack clear progression.
Examples
Use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' provides structure, but the second paragraph does not effectively contrast with the first. The conclusion repeats points from the introduction without synthesizing arguments.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Conversely,' 'In addition') to show relationships between ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that builds on the previous one, and avoid repetition by summarizing key points in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are awkward phrases and repetitions, which reduce the clarity and impact of the essay.
Examples
Awkward phrase: 'exercise their hard-earned money' – 'use' or 'spend' would be more appropriate. Repetition: 'earn' and 'salaries' are used multiple times without synonyms like 'income,' 'wages,' or 'earnings.'
How to Improve
Incorporate more precise and varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'day-to-day commitment,' use 'professional duties' or 'occupational responsibilities.' Use synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance lexical range.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
Grammar is generally accurate but relies on simple sentence structures. There are occasional errors in word choice and pronoun reference, which affect clarity.
Examples
Incorrect word choice: 'exercise their hard-earned money' should be 'use their hard-earned money.' Unclear reference: 'this also affects their mental health' – 'this' refers vaguely to imposing limits on salaries, but the connection is not explicitly stated.
How to Improve
Use a mix of simple and complex sentences (e.g., conditional clauses, relative clauses) to demonstrate grammatical range. Ensure pronouns have clear antecedents and proofread for word choice errors. For example, rewrite sentences to clarify meaning: 'Imposing salary limits could demotivate workers, thereby affecting their mental health.'
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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