Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Museum Purpose: Development and Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published Feb 2026⏱️ 40 minutes recommended📝 293 words · Band 6
This Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the role of museums in education versus entertainment. While it meets the word count, it has notable shortcomings in idea development and coherence that could be improved for a higher band score.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Discuss both views · Museums · 40 min


Some people believe that the purpose of museums is to educate people, while others think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people. What is your view on this issue? Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Write at least 250 words.



6Band

Overall Band Score

293 words · Discuss both views · AI Evaluated

6
Task Response
6
Grammar
6
Vocabulary
6
Coherence

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Overall Band Score
6
Task Response
6
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
6
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
6
Coherence & Cohesion
6

Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (293 words) and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, with limited depth and support, and there are issues in coherence, vocabulary, and grammar that prevent higher scores.

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Student Answer
Real submission • 293 words • Annotated
293 wordsBand 6WritingPart2
● Spelling● Grammar● Vocabulary

Many people think that a museum is a place to educate visitors, while others believe that a museum sets its purpose as an enjoyable place to entertain the people who visit. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in other ways, I believe that a museum should be an educational place where people can take their time to understand the moral of each piece" title="Correction: the moral of each piece">the moral from each piece presented in the museum.

When people hear the word 'museum', they think about paintings such as the Mona Lisa painting that is currently displayed in the Louvre Museum. As a result, most museums serve as an enjoyable place to entertain people. Museums with mesmerising art pieces would attract people to visit them. Therefore, people would be more attracted to those kinds of places. People would love to take pictures and have an enjoyable time there. However, a museum should be more than just a place to take pictures.

In contrast, a museum should also be educational, not just entertaining. Therefore, a museum can be interpreted as a place to understand the meaning of life. Many exhibitions serve as an educational place, teaching something meaningful to their visitors. For instance, the NEMO Science Museum in Amsterdam, Netherlands, serves as an educational place where its visitors can learn about science and its role in our lives. Moreover, the NEMO Science Museum presents a lot of science projects, including the story behind them. The visitors could learn a lot from visiting a science museum.

Museums from any part of the world could have both purposes, educational and enjoyable. Nevertheless, I believe that people should be able to learn about something new after visiting a museum. Consequently, this is why I agree that a museum should serve as a place to educate visitors.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Grammatical Mistakes

3 errors
MistakeCorrectionExplanation
sets its purpose assets its purpose to beAwkward phrasing; 'to be' is more standard for indicating purpose
the moral from each piecethe moral of each piecePreposition error; 'of' is used to show relationship or origin
Many exhibitions serve as an educational placeMany exhibitions serve as educational placesNoun number agreement; 'exhibitions' is plural, so 'places' should be plural

Vocabulary Improvements

3 suggestions
Original Word/PhraseImproved Word/PhraseExplanation
a lot ofmany'A lot of' is informal; 'many' is more appropriate for academic writing
the moralthe message'Moral' implies an ethical lesson; 'message' is broader and more suitable for art and exhibits
take picturestake photographs'Take pictures' is colloquial; 'take photographs' is more formal

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay presents both sides of the argument and states a clear opinion, but the development of ideas is limited. The entertainment perspective is only briefly mentioned with a superficial example (Louvre and Mona Lisa), while the educational side is better supported with the NEMO Science Museum example. The discussion lacks extended analysis or counterpoints.
Examples
For entertainment: 'Museums with mesmerising art pieces would attract people to visit them.' This is a general statement without elaboration. For education: The NEMO example is given but not deeply connected to the broader debate.
How to Improve
Extend each viewpoint by explaining why people hold these beliefs, e.g., entertainment for tourism and engagement, education for cultural preservation. Provide more balanced arguments and explore how museums can blend both purposes before reinforcing your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas is sometimes weak, and cohesive devices are used mechanically. Paragraph topics are clear but could be more focused.
Examples
The first body paragraph starts abruptly with 'When people hear the word 'museum'...' and mixes ideas about entertainment without a clear thread. Transitions like 'In contrast' and 'Nevertheless' are used but do not always enhance coherence.
How to Improve
Improve paragraph unity by ensuring each paragraph has a single main idea. Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore') and strengthen connections between sentences to create smoother progression.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. Some words are repeated, and there are awkward phrases that reduce clarity. The lexical range is limited to basic terms.
Examples
Repetition of 'educational place' and 'enjoyable place.' The word 'moral' in 'understand the moral' may be inaccurate; 'meaning' or 'significance' would be better. 'Mesmerising' is used but not commonly associated with museums.
How to Improve
Use synonyms like 'informative,' 'enlightening,' 'recreational,' or 'amusing' to avoid repetition. Incorporate topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'curation,' 'exhibits,' 'interactive displays') and ensure word choice is contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay uses a mix of simple and some complex sentences, but grammatical errors and awkward constructions are noticeable. Errors in article usage, verb forms, and sentence structure occasionally hinder clarity.
Examples
Awkward construction: 'a museum sets its purpose as an enjoyable place' should be 'a museum's purpose is to be enjoyable.' Repetitive sentence: 'Museums... would attract people to visit them. Therefore, people would be more attracted...' Fragmented ideas in places.
How to Improve
Practice using complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., relative clauses, conditionals). Proofread for common errors like article omission ('the' vs. 'a') and verb agreement. Vary sentence beginnings to improve flow.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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