This band 6 IELTS essay examines the topic of subject choice for university students. While the response covers both views, it highlights the need for deeper argument development and clearer grammatical structures to enhance clarity. Learn valuable improvement tips to elevate your writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words (actual: 280) and addresses the topic appropriately by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are minor issues with grammar, vocabulary, and cohesion that prevent higher scores.
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There is an ongoing debate about university students should have the freedom to choose their own subjects or be restricted to studying subjects that are considered useful for the future, such as science and technology. In my opinion, both views have valid points; that's why I will discuss both views, but students should have the right to choose their own fields of study.
On the one hand, some people believe that students should focus only on practical and mainstream subjects like science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. These subjects are highly demanded in the job sector and play an important role in the development of a country. For example, scientific research can improve healthcare, communication, and transportation systems. As a result, if more students study these subjects, it can lead to better career opportunities. Moreover, some students may choose subjects that they enjoy but have limited job prospects, which could make them unemployed in the future.
On the other hand, allowing students to choose their own subjects is equally important. Every individual has different interests, talents, and career goals. If students are forced to study subjects they are not interested in, they may lose motivation and perform poorly in their studies. In contrast, when students choose subjects they are passionate about, they are more likely to succeed and contribute positively to society. Additionally, subjects like arts, literature, and social sciences are also valuable, as they help develop critical thinking, creativity, and communication skills.
To sum up, while studying science and technology can provide more job opportunities, it is essential to respect students freedom to choose their own subjects. I believe that giving students this freedom will lead to better academic performance.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| debate about university students should have | debate about whether university students should have | Missing conjunction 'whether' to introduce the subordinate clause. |
| both views have valid points; that's why I will discuss both views, but students should have the right | both views have valid points. Therefore, I will discuss both views, but I believe that students should have the right | Run-on sentence; breaking it into separate sentences improves clarity and flow. |
| students freedom | students' freedom | Missing apostrophe for possessive form. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| highly demanded | in high demand | More idiomatic and precise collocation for describing demand in the job market. |
| job sector | job market | 'Job market' is a standard term for the arena of employment opportunities. |
| make them unemployed | lead to unemployment | More formal and academic expression. |
| To sum up | In conclusion | More formal transition phrase suitable for academic essays. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay responds to the task by presenting both views and stating a clear opinion. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and the justification for the opinion is brief.
Examples
For instance, when supporting the view for useful subjects, it mentions job opportunities and national development but does not elaborate with specific examples or deeper analysis. The personal opinion is stated in the introduction and conclusion but lacks detailed support in the body paragraphs.
How to Improve
Expand on each view with more detailed examples and explanations. For example, provide concrete cases where science and technology have led to societal benefits, or illustrate how student motivation impacts academic success. Strengthen the opinion by linking it more explicitly to the discussed points.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively, but transitions could be more varied.
Examples
Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' help organize the discussion. However, the introduction includes redundant phrasing ('I will discuss both views'), and the conclusion is somewhat abrupt.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'Consequently') to improve flow. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas connect smoothly. Revise the conclusion to better synthesize the arguments.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with some appropriate word choices, but there is repetition and minor inaccuracies in collocation.
Examples
The word 'subjects' is repeated multiple times. 'Highly demanded' is incorrectly used; it should be 'in high demand.' Good choices include 'practical,' 'mainstream,' 'passionate,' and 'critical thinking.'
How to Improve
Incorporate synonyms (e.g., 'disciplines,' 'fields' instead of 'subjects') and topic-specific vocabulary. Pay attention to correct collocations, such as 'high demand' or 'limited prospects.' Read model essays to enhance lexical variety.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
Grammar is generally accurate with simple and compound sentences, but there are errors in sentence structure and articles. The range of structures is limited.
Examples
Incorrect: 'There is an ongoing debate about university students should have...' should be 'about whether university students should have...' Missing apostrophe: 'students freedom' should be 'students' freedom.'
How to Improve
Practice using complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., relative clauses, conditionals). Review article usage (a/an/the) and possessive forms. Proofread for grammatical errors to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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