Achieving a band 6 in the IELTS requires addressing key issues, and this essay on university subject choice highlights areas for improvement. While the writer discusses both views, the arguments lack depth and clarity, making it essential to enhance specific examples and grammatical accuracy. Explore the feedback to elevate your writing to the next level.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 269 words and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial, with repetitive arguments and grammatical errors that limit clarity and impact.
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Undergraduate students are given the freedom to choose their own interest courses. However, there is an ongoing debate about whether they should be allowed to choose their own subjects or be limited to subjects like science and technology, which are beneficial in the future. In my opinion, I believe that the former is essential for their own interest, and the latter is more useful according to today's job market.
On the one hand, some people believe that students should choose their own subjects because they have their own intellectual goals in life. Undergraduates set the roadmap, and according to their roadmap, they follow the steps that are crucial for their future. As a result, choosing their own subject helps them to identify their capability and whether it is beneficial for them or not. Also, students choose subjects according to their own compatibility.
On the other hand, many argue that students should only study science and technology courses. In today's world, we can see a huge change in day-to-day life because of the advancement in science and technology. The science and technology courses are more focused on the betterment of society. However, it is also a trend, and more students are inclined towards IT, Computer Engineering, Software Engineering, and Computer Science courses today.
In conclusion, technological subjects are trending in the market, and students should have some knowledge of those subjects. However, I believe students should be given a chance to choose their own subjects because their right to choose a career is in their own hands, and they should focus on their own interests rather than following the trend.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
2 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| choose their own interest courses | choose their own courses of interest | Awkward phrasing; 'interest courses' is not idiomatic and should be rephrased for clarity |
| In my opinion, I believe that | I believe that | Redundant expression; both phrases convey the same idea, so one is sufficient |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| compatibility | interests and aptitudes | Incorrect word choice; 'compatibility' is not typically used for personal subject selection and is vague here |
| betterment | improvement | Informal word; 'improvement' is more precise and standard in academic writing |
| trending | in demand | Informal word; 'trending' is associated with social media; use 'in demand' for formal contexts about market trends |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response covers all parts of the task, presenting both views and a clear opinion. However, the arguments are not fully extended or supported with specific examples, leading to a lack of depth in the discussion.
Examples
For the first view, the essay states that students have 'intellectual goals' and choose subjects based on 'capability,' but does not elaborate on how this benefits personal or academic growth. For the second view, it mentions 'advancement in science and technology' and lists courses, but fails to explore why these subjects are specifically useful for the future.
How to Improve
To improve, provide concrete examples and detailed reasoning for each view. For instance, explain how free choice fosters creativity or critical thinking, and discuss specific career opportunities or societal needs related to science and technology. Ensure that the opinion is thoroughly justified with balanced analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the connection between ideas within paragraphs is sometimes weak, and transitions could be smoother.
Examples
The first body paragraph jumps from 'intellectual goals' to 'roadmap' without clear linking. The conclusion repeats points from the introduction without adding synthesis. Sentences like 'Also, students choose subjects according to their own compatibility' stand alone without integration.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences logically. Develop each paragraph around a central topic sentence, and ensure that ideas flow naturally. In the conclusion, summarize key points from both views and reinforce the opinion without merely restating earlier content.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main ideas but is often repetitive and occasionally imprecise. There is some attempt at less common lexis, but errors in word choice reduce effectiveness.
Examples
Repeated use of 'subjects' and 'courses' without variation. 'Compatibility' is misused in 'according to their own compatibility'—'aptitude' or 'interests' would be more accurate. Phrases like 'betterment of society' are appropriate but not fully explored.
How to Improve
Incorporate more synonyms and topic-specific vocabulary. For example, instead of 'subjects,' use 'disciplines,' 'fields of study,' or 'specializations.' Practice using words in context to ensure accuracy and avoid repetition. Reading model essays can help expand lexical range.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
There are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder clarity. While simple and complex sentences are attempted, mistakes in article usage, word order, and phrasing are frequent.
Examples
Incorrect phrasing: 'choose their own interest courses' should be 'choose courses of their own interest' or 'choose subjects they are interested in.' Redundancy: 'In my opinion, I believe...' Awkward structure: 'Undergraduates set the roadmap, and according to their roadmap, they follow the steps...'
How to Improve
Focus on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Review article usage (a/an/the), subject-verb agreement, and prepositional phrases. Practice writing complex sentences with subordinate clauses, and proofread to eliminate repetitive or unclear expressions. Grammar exercises and feedback from teachers can be beneficial.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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