This band 6 IELTS essay discusses the debate surrounding university subject choices. The evaluation highlights coherence and grammatical errors that impacted clarity, providing insight into areas for improvement.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (364 words) and addresses the topic by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the discussion of the view supporting useful subjects like science and technology is underdeveloped, focusing more on the negatives of forcing students. There are issues with coherence, lexical errors, and frequent grammatical mistakes that somewhat affect clarity. Overall, it is a competent response but with noticeable flaws.
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Whether students in institutions of higher learning should choose thier own field of study or if they should be allowed to study subjects that are deemed useful in the future, for intance, science and technology, is topic that has attracted a lot of debate. This essay will discuss both views and state my perspective.
In general, students should be allowed to choose subjects on their own and not be forced into taking what they are not comfortable with because of keeping up with the curent trend. In my opinion, I believe that if an individual does what they like, they are likely to exceed expectations as they are self-motivated. However, if they are forced into the field of study they have not chosen, there is a possibility of minimal performance.
Primarily, students who choose the subject they want to study at the university without the influence of friends or family members will enjoy and perform well in their studies. The reason for this is that, their minds are already set on a career path that their field of study is featured in. For example, a person who wants to be a teacher will attend all lectures, enjoy group discussions as well as their teaching practice. They wiil eventually meet their targets by getting the grade that is expected and and above all have contentment.
When it comes to suggesting to the students to study fields related to science and technology, some may even fail to graduate after the course since they did not do it willingly. This may be caused by failure to attend lessons which eventualy result in failling exams. This can further be exemplified by many students who fail to graduate because they did a course that was more challenging in the pretext of its usefulness in the future. After failing, the student feel depressed which eventually affects the learner's mental health.
In conclusion, as much as science and technology are subjects that helps in the future, giving a scholar a chance to make their own choices on which subject to study is more beneficial. I therefore reiterate that student's choices on subjects they wish to study should not be interfered with.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| thier | their |
| intance | instance |
| curent | current |
| wiil | will |
| eventualy | eventually |
| failling | failing |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| is topic that | is a topic that | Article missing: 'a' before 'topic' |
| is that, | is that | Remove extra space and unnecessary comma |
| and and | and | Remove repeated word |
| result in | results in | Subject-verb agreement: 'failure' is singular, requiring 'results' |
| can further | can further | Remove extra space |
| the student feel | the student feels | Subject-verb agreement: 'student' is singular, requiring 'feels' |
| helps in the future | help in the future | Subject-verb agreement: 'subjects' is plural, requiring 'help' |
| student's choices | students' choices | Use plural possessive for general reference to multiple students |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| minimal performance | poor performance | Vague; 'poor performance' is more precise |
| featured in | aligned with | Informal phrasing; 'aligned with' is more academic |
| suggesting to the students | advising students | More formal and direct |
| in the pretext of | due to its perceived usefulness | Incorrect word choice; 'pretext' implies a false reason |
| learner | student | More appropriate term in educational contexts |
| helps in the future | are beneficial for the future | Vague phrasing; more precise alternative |
| scholar | student | Inconsistent term; 'student' is more commonly used in this context |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
6
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and states a clear opinion in favor of student choice. However, the opposing view (studying useful subjects) is not fully explored; it is primarily dismissed with negative consequences rather than balanced arguments on its potential benefits.
Examples
For example, the essay states, 'When it comes to suggesting to the students to study fields related to science and technology, some may even fail to graduate...' but does not discuss why such subjects might be valuable for future careers or society.
How to Improve
To improve, provide a more balanced analysis. Acknowledge arguments for studying useful subjects (e.g., job market demands, technological advancement) before countering with the importance of personal interest. Develop both sides equally before stating your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion within and between paragraphs is sometimes weak, with abrupt transitions and repetitive phrasing.
Examples
The first body paragraph begins with 'In general,' which is vague. The second body paragraph starts with 'When it comes to...' without a smooth link. The conclusion reiterates the opinion without synthesizing arguments effectively.
How to Improve
Use more precise linking words (e.g., 'On the one hand,' 'Conversely,' 'Furthermore') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Improve paragraph transitions by summarizing previous points before introducing new ones.
Lexical Resource
6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and contains several spelling errors. Some words are used appropriately, but repetition limits lexical range.
Examples
Spelling errors: 'thier' (their), 'intance' (instance), 'curent' (current), 'failling' (failing). Repetition of 'useful' and simple terms like 'do well' and 'fail'. The word 'pretext' is used but may not fit perfectly in context.
How to Improve
Proofread to correct spelling errors. Expand vocabulary by using synonyms (e.g., 'beneficial' instead of 'useful', 'pursue' instead of 'do'). Incorporate more academic or topic-specific terms related to education and career choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that affect accuracy, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited complex forms.
Examples
Errors: 'subjects that helps' (should be 'help'), 'they wiil' (will), 'expected and and above all' (double 'and'), 'the student feel depressed' (should be 'feels' or 'students feel'). Awkward sentence: 'They wiil eventually meet their targets by getting the grade that is expected and and above all have contentment.'
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and tense usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses. Use grammar check tools to identify and correct errors during proofreading.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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