Achieving a Band 6 in IELTS requires clarity and depth, especially in discussing both views on university students' subject choices. This essay highlights the freedom to choose subjects while addressing development and clarity in arguments. Key areas for improvement include elaborating on contrasting viewpoints and enhancing grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 260 words and addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, with limited depth and support. Grammatical errors and some imprecise vocabulary affect clarity, though the structure is generally coherent.
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Some people think that students should be able to select their majors, while others argue that only courses that are useful in the future should be studied. Even though, covering the priority subjects in a university accelerates the technological advancement, I strongly believe that people should be free to choose their own subjects.
On the one hand, teaching subjects with high demand in the future will help with technological innovations. In other words, governments can specify which science area they want to focus on by prioritizing the corresponding subjects in the universities. This strategy ensures that required number of qualified specialists in this area will be graduated within the given timeframe. One prominent example is the Soviet Union during the space race. To overcome the United States, they needed a lot more competence in the math and physics. Therefore, they paid close attention to grow these scientists.
On the other hand, entertainment and art might disappear. Not every person has a technical mind, especially creative people. Furthermore, forcing people with creative mindset to solve complex equations will result in the decline of artists. Different types of arts such as music, drawing, theatre and cinema will always be present in the society. Therefore, the world will need these artists. One of the ways to fill creative workplaces is to let students choose their favourite subjects.
In conclusion, while selecting target subjects for students might result in scentific revolutions, I strongly believe that students should be given freedom in deciding which subjects to study. This way, art and entertainment will not disappear.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
1 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| scentific | scientific |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Even though, covering | Even though covering | Remove comma after subordinating conjunction 'even though' when it introduces a dependent clause. |
| in the universities | in universities | Use no article for plural nouns in general statements. |
| required number of qualified specialists | the required number of qualified specialists | Add definite article 'the' for specificity when referring to a particular number. |
| will be graduated | will graduate | Use active voice for students completing their studies; 'graduate' is intransitive here. |
| in the math and physics | in math and physics | Do not use articles with general academic subjects. |
| to grow these scientists | to developing these scientists | After 'paid attention to', use a noun or gerund; 'developing' is more appropriate than 'grow' for training people. |
| creative mindset | a creative mindset | Singular countable noun 'mindset' requires an article. |
| in the society | in society | Use no article for general concepts like 'society'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| a lot more competence | much more expertise | 'A lot' is informal; 'much more' is preferred in academic writing, and 'expertise' is more precise than 'competence' in this context. |
| grow these scientists | develop these scientists | 'Grow' is not typically collocated with human development; 'develop' is more appropriate for training or cultivating professionals. |
| fill creative workplaces | fill creative roles | 'Workplaces' refers to physical locations; 'roles' or 'positions' is more precise for job opportunities. |
| high demand in the future | high future demand | More concise and academic phrasing by combining adjectives. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and states a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument that focusing on useful subjects aids technological innovation is supported by an example (Soviet Union), but the opposing view about art disappearing is not fully explored, lacking detailed reasoning or evidence.
Examples
Example from essay: 'One prominent example is the Soviet Union during the space race.' This supports the first view but is brief. The second view is stated as 'entertainment and art might disappear' without elaboration on why or how.
How to Improve
Expand on both views with more detailed examples and explanations. Discuss the broader implications, such as economic or societal impacts, and consider counterarguments to strengthen the analysis. Ensure each paragraph fully develops one main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, with basic cohesive devices used appropriately. However, the flow between ideas is occasionally abrupt, and paragraph structure could be more logically developed. The use of linking words is limited to simple phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand.'
Examples
The transition between paragraphs is functional but not seamless. For example, the second body paragraph starts with 'On the other hand, entertainment and art might disappear,' which directly contrasts the first view but lacks a smooth transition sentence.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'As a result') to improve connections between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that supporting sentences logically follow.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common words (e.g., 'technological advancement,' 'qualified specialists,' 'creative mindset'). However, there are spelling errors and awkward phrasing that reduce precision and clarity.
Examples
Misspelling: 'scentific revolutions' should be 'scientific revolutions.' Awkward phrasing: 'grow these scientists' should be 'train these scientists' or 'develop these scientists.'
How to Improve
Proofread for spelling and word choice errors. Expand vocabulary by using more specific and academic terms related to education and society. Avoid repetitive phrases and practice using synonyms appropriately.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally hinder meaning. Issues include incorrect punctuation, verb form errors, and article usage.
Examples
Incorrect comma use: 'Even though, covering the priority subjects...' should be 'Even though covering priority subjects...' or 'Although covering priority subjects...'. Verb error: 'to grow these scientists' should be 'to growing these scientists' or 'to train these scientists.'
How to Improve
Review grammar rules for complex sentences, participles, and prepositions. Practice writing error-free sentences by proofreading and using grammar check tools. Incorporate a variety of structures, such as conditional clauses or relative clauses, to demonstrate range.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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