This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the debate over university students' subject choices. While it explores both views, issues with clarity and vocabulary usage hinder the overall effectiveness. Understanding these feedback points can help you achieve a better score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· University Students Β· 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count (306 words) and addresses the topic by discussing both views and stating an opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, particularly for the second view. Coherence is adequate but with basic linking devices. Vocabulary is sufficient but contains errors, and grammar has several noticeable mistakes that affect clarity.
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There has been an ongoing debate among the society regarding student's choice of major in university. Some people believe that university students should be given the freedom of choosing their own subjects. However, others argue that students should only be allowed to pursue subjects which will be useful in the future, such as science and technology-related. This essay will further examine this matter from two opposing point of view.
First of all, I strongly believe that more students would lean towards the former opinion, as it will allow give them the right to choose their own education path based on their passion and needs. This will allow the students to explore majors of their interests in depth and help them to excell on their area of expertise. For instance, students who pursue art will be able to achieve formal education and have the outlet to pour out their creativity. Although some subjects might not be considered as useful as others, I believe that each of the subjects provided in university has their own target, and will have different kinds of impacts in the future.
On the contrary, the latter argument also drew attention because of the advantages and drawbacks that it has. If the students have this limitations on choosing their study area, some of them may consider the option of not continuing to higher education, as they feel like none of the courses provided woud suit them. However, this step can also have its own merits. For example, the science and technology-related studies offers a lot of learning opportunities and could lead to a reputable career. Moreover, the students would get a more specified knowledge, with an abundance of advancements in the foreseeable future.
To conclude and offer my position, while there are numerous convincing arguments supporting both sides, I certainly favor the former opinion.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| excell | excel |
| woud | would |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| among the society | in society | Preposition and article misuse; 'society' is uncountable and typically used without 'the' in this context. |
| student's choice | students' choice | Possessive form should be plural to refer to students in general. |
| two opposing point of view | two opposing points of view | Plural form required for 'point' since there are two perspectives. |
| allow give them | give them | Incorrect verb construction; 'allow' should be followed by an object and infinitive, but here 'give' is redundant when used with 'allow'. |
| on their area | in their area | Preposition misuse; 'in' is the correct preposition for area of expertise. |
| has their own target | has its own target | Pronoun-antecedent agreement; 'each' is singular, so 'its' should be used. |
| drew attention | draws attention | Tense consistency; the essay is in present tense, so present verb form is needed. |
| this limitations | these limitations | Demonstrative adjective agreement; 'limitations' is plural, so 'these' is correct. |
| studies offers | studies offer | Subject-verb agreement; 'studies' is plural, so 'offer' is correct. |
| a more specified knowledge | more specialized knowledge | Article misuse and adjective choice; 'knowledge' is uncountable, so no article needed, and 'specialized' is more appropriate than 'specified'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| lean towards | prefer | Too informal for academic writing; 'prefer' is more standard. |
| former opinion | first perspective | 'Opinion' is less formal; 'perspective' is more academic in this context. |
| pour out their creativity | express their creativity | Informal idiom; 'express' is more appropriate for academic tone. |
| drew attention | attracts attention | Better verb choice for academic writing; 'attracts' is more active and precise. |
| step | approach | Vague term; 'approach' is more precise in the context of educational policies. |
| merits | advantages | 'Advantages' is more commonly used in academic discussions about pros and cons. |
| abundance of advancements | many advancements | 'Abundance' is vague; 'many' is clearer and more direct. |
| foreseeable future | future | Redundant; 'future' alone is sufficient and more concise. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and gives a clear opinion, but the discussion lacks depth and detailed reasoning. The second view on studying useful subjects is not fully explored, and the justification for the opinion is repetitive.
Examples
For the first view, the essay states that free choice allows students to follow passion but does not elaborate on broader benefits like innovation or lifelong learning. For the second view, it mentions career opportunities in science and technology but fails to connect to societal needs or economic impacts.
How to Improve
Expand on each view with specific examples and consequences. For instance, discuss how free choice fosters critical thinking or how useful subjects address skill gaps. Provide evidence or real-world scenarios to strengthen arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion within paragraphs is occasionally weak, and linking words are basic. The flow between ideas could be smoother.
Examples
The transition 'On the contrary' is used to introduce the second view, but it implies direct opposition rather than a separate perspective. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively synthesize the discussion. In the second body paragraph, the shift from drawbacks to merits is abrupt.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'On the other hand'). Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas progress logically. Avoid inserting personal opinion in the body paragraphs when discussing views; save it for the conclusion.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but with some errors, misspellings, and awkward phrasing. There is repetition of key terms, and word choice is not always precise.
Examples
Misspellings: 'excell' for 'excel', 'woud' for 'would'. Awkward phrases: 'pour out their creativity' (better: 'express their creativity'), 'specified knowledge' (should be 'specialized knowledge'). Inaccurate usage: 'drawed attention' should be 'draws attention' or 'has drawn attention'.
How to Improve
Proofread for spelling errors. Use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., 'disciplines' for 'subjects', 'pursue' for 'study'). Incorporate more academic vocabulary and ensure collocations are natural (e.g., 'pursue a career' instead of 'reputable career').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammar is problematic with several errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and agreement. Simple sentences are used, but complex sentences are often flawed, affecting clarity.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'allow give them' should be 'allow them to have' or 'give them the right'. Subject-verb agreement: 'the science and technology-related studies offers' should be 'offer'. Article errors: 'this limitations' should be 'these limitations'. Tense inconsistency: 'drawed attention' should be 'draws attention'.
How to Improve
Practice constructing complex sentences with correct grammar. Focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage (a/an/the), and verb tense consistency. Review common errors and consider using grammar exercises or tools to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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