This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses whether university students should choose their subjects freely. While it addresses both views, there are clarity and development issues that could be improved. Understanding the importance of depth in your arguments is crucial for higher scores.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· University Students Β· 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (275 words) and addresses the topic by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, with the opposing view briefly mentioned. Cohesion is basic, and lexical and grammatical errors are noticeable, affecting clarity. Overall, it demonstrates a competent but uneven performance.
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Education is essential for each individual's future and each countries have their own curriculum for their citizen to get education. It caused a debate about whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed so study subjects that are considered essential such as science and technology.
From my perspective, every student has their own preferences for their future. One student have a dream to be an artist, while the other has a goal to own a business. The right preparation is needed to achieve those resolutions for the future and university hold a big role in it. It is widely acknowledge that people apply to university to learn deeper about the subject they needed for the future. In instance, a student who has a dream to be a business owner needs to deepen their understanding on management, accounting, and social networking which are related to the profession they consider. So, universities should give freedom for students to choose their own subjects without burdening the basic subjects like math.
The idea of students should only be allowed to study subjects related to science and technology emerged because professions that are needed in lives can give a stable future. It refers to a doctor, an architect, a technology developer which mainly focus on STEM. However, it will not help the students to reach their own goals.
In conclusion, university students should be free to choose their own subjects with terms of keeping the compulsory subjects to learn. Therefore, they will learn more easily and widen the opportunity to be successful because it is their interest to start off.
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Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
16 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| each countries have | each country has | Subject-verb agreement: 'each' is singular, so 'country has' |
| for their citizen to get education | for their citizens to receive an education | Article missing and plural form: 'citizens' and 'an education' |
| It caused a debate | This has caused a debate | Verb tense: present perfect is more appropriate for ongoing situations |
| so study | to study | Incorrect infinitive: 'to' is used before verbs in this context |
| One student have | One student has | Subject-verb agreement: 'one student' is singular |
| university hold a big role | universities hold a significant role | Subject-verb agreement and word choice: 'universities' plural, and 'significant' is more appropriate |
| It is widely acknowledge | It is widely acknowledged | Passive voice requires past participle: 'acknowledged' |
| the subject they needed | the subjects they need | Verb tense: present tense 'need' for current relevance |
| In instance | For instance | Incorrect phrase: 'for instance' is the correct expression |
| understanding on management | understanding of management | Preposition error: 'understanding of' is the correct collocation |
| without burdening the basic subjects | without neglecting basic subjects | Incorrect verb usage: 'burdening' implies imposing a burden, but here it means not ignoring |
| The idea of students should only be allowed | The idea that students should only be allowed | Incorrect structure: 'that' is used to introduce a clause |
| in lives | in life | Noun form: 'life' is uncountable in this context |
| It refers to a doctor, an architect, a technology developer which mainly focus on STEM. | This includes professions such as doctors, architects, and technology developers, who mainly focus on STEM. | Pronoun reference and list structure: 'this' refers to the idea, and 'who' for people |
| with terms of keeping the compulsory subjects to learn | on the condition that they learn compulsory subjects | Incorrect phrase: 'on the condition that' is standard |
| widen the opportunity | expand their opportunities | Collocation error: 'expand opportunities' is more appropriate |
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| get education | receive an education | Informal: 'get' is too casual; 'receive' is more academic |
| big role | significant role | Vague: 'big' is informal; 'significant' is more precise |
| give a stable future | provide a stable future | Collocation: 'provide' is more formal than 'give' |
| It refers to | This includes | Vague: 'refers to' is less direct; 'includes' is clearer |
| technology developer | software developer | Imprecise: 'technology developer' is broad; 'software developer' is specific in STEM context |
| to start off | as a foundation | Informal: 'start off' is colloquial; 'as a foundation' is more academic |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay responds to the task by presenting both views and a clear opinion, but the arguments are underdeveloped. The introduction is repetitive, and the discussion of the opposing view lacks depth and specific examples.
Examples
For example, the opposing view is stated as 'professions that are needed in lives can give a stable future' but is not elaborated with reasons or evidence. The personal view is supported with an example of a business student, but this could be more detailed.
How to Improve
Expand on both perspectives with reasoned arguments and relevant examples. For instance, explain why some believe science and technology subjects are more useful, and counter with benefits of elective freedom. Ensure the introduction paraphrases the question more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but cohesion is weakened by limited linking devices and some awkward transitions. Paragraphing is present but not always logical.
Examples
The shift from the personal view to the opposing view is abrupt with 'However, it will not help the students to reach their own goals.' No linking words are used to connect these ideas. The conclusion introduces 'terms of keeping the compulsory subjects,' which was not previously discussed.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the other hand,' 'in contrast') to smoothly connect ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the conclusion summarizes points without introducing new concepts.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally appropriate for the topic but shows some inaccuracies, repetition, and awkward phrasing. There is an attempt at varied language, but errors affect precision.
Examples
Misspelling: 'acknowledge' instead of 'acknowledged' in 'it is widely acknowledge.' Incorrect word choice: 'burdening the basic subjects' should be 'without being burdened by basic subjects.' Repetition of 'subjects' and 'future.'
How to Improve
Use a wider range of synonyms (e.g., 'disciplines' for 'subjects') and pay attention to collocations. Proofread for spelling and word form errors. Incorporate more academic vocabulary where possible.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes hinder understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, tense, and preposition errors.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'each countries have' should be 'each country has'; 'One student have' should be 'One student has.' Preposition error: 'In instance' should be 'For instance.' Article omission: 'own a business' is correct, but 'the right preparation' lacks context.
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses, and review common preposition patterns. Reading aloud can help identify errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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