This band 7 IELTS essay on advertising presents balanced views on its effects on society. While it effectively discusses both perspectives, it reveals areas for improvement in coherence and vocabulary range. Understanding these aspects can enhance your writing skills and boost your band score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · Advertising · 40 min
Advertising is everywhere; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some argue that advertising is a constructive element of our lives, while others argue that it is a bad component of our lives. Discuss both points of view and express your own.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views on advertising and presenting a clear, balanced opinion. It meets the word count requirement (294 words) with relevant ideas and a logical structure. Vocabulary and grammar are generally effective, though there is room for improvement in cohesion and lexical range.
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Advertising is a pervasive part of modern life, influencing the choices and behaviors of consumers every day. Some view advertising as a beneficial tool that provides valuable information and entertainment, while others see it as a manipulative force that encourages unnecessary spending. I think advertising is not inherently positive or negative; its effects are determined by how it is managed and applied. Actually, I will examine both perspectives and present my own opinion.
To begin with, advertising can have positive effects on consumers by providing essential information about available products and services. Notably, it helps individuals compare prices and features, allowing them to make more informed purchasing decisions. For instance, when consumers evaluate different brands, advertising enables them to choose what best suits their needs and budget. Additionally, advertisements often incorporate creativity and entertainment, using humor, music, or well-known personalities to engage audiences and make products more appealing.
Nevertheless, advertising also has negative consequences that should not be overlooked. One major concern is its ability to manipulate emotions and desires, persuading people to buy products they do not truly need. As a result, excessive consumerism can emerge, driven by unrealistic images and promises used in marketing campaigns. Furthermore, advertising can be intrusive and disruptive, interrupting daily life with loud commercials, flashing visuals, and unwanted pop-ups. These tactics can diminish privacy and create frustration among consumers.
In conclusion, advertising plays both beneficial and harmful roles in society. While it informs and entertains, it can also encourage excessive spending and invade personal space. I believe that advertising is neither entirely good nor bad; its impact depends on how it is regulated and utilized. Therefore, consumers should remain aware of its advantages and disadvantages, making thoughtful decisions to ensure they are not overly influenced by marketing strategies.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| I think | I believe | Slightly informal; 'I believe' is more formal and commonly used in academic writing. |
| Actually | In this essay, | Informal transition word; 'In this essay,' provides a clearer and more formal introduction to the essay's purpose. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7.5
Evaluation
The response covers all parts of the prompt effectively, discussing both the constructive and negative aspects of advertising while stating the writer's opinion that it is neither inherently good nor bad. Ideas are developed with relevant examples.
Examples
Examples include advertising helping consumers compare prices and features, and its role in encouraging unnecessary spending through emotional manipulation.
How to Improve
To achieve a higher band, provide more detailed or specific examples (e.g., citing real-world cases or statistics) and ensure deeper analysis of the implications of each view.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each perspective, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, but they could be more varied to enhance flow.
Examples
Linking words like 'To begin with,' 'Nevertheless,' and 'In conclusion' guide the reader, and paragraphs are logically separated.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' 'As a consequence') and work on smoother transitions between sentences to improve overall coherence.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate and mostly accurate, with some less common terms used appropriately. There are no significant errors in word choice or spelling.
Examples
Words such as 'pervasive,' 'manipulative,' 'consumerism,' 'intrusive,' and 'disruptive' demonstrate a good lexical range.
How to Improve
Incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary (e.g., synonyms for 'advertising' like 'marketing' or 'promotion') and avoid repetition to show greater flexibility and precision.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7.5
Evaluation
A variety of sentence structures are employed with good control. Minor errors are present but do not hinder understanding.
Examples
Complex sentences like 'When consumers evaluate different brands, advertising enables them to choose what best suits their needs and budget' show grammatical range.
How to Improve
Aim for more complex structures (e.g., conditional clauses, passive voice) and ensure consistent accuracy in punctuation and sentence construction, avoiding informal phrases like 'Actually' in academic writing.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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