This IELTS Writing Task 2 essay scored a band 7 and discusses the paths to career success. While it effectively addresses the task, enhanced examples and a more developed conclusion could elevate the argument further.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · Successful Careers · 40 min
Some people think that the best way to have a successful career is to study at university or college, while others think that it is better to start working right after finishing school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion, with a word count of 293 words (meeting the 250-word minimum). It is well-organized with coherent structure, appropriate vocabulary, and accurate grammar. To achieve a higher band score, more detailed examples and a more developed conclusion would be beneficial.
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People have different opinions about the best path to a successful career. Some believe that studying at a university or college is essential, while others argue that starting work immediately after finishing school is a better option. This essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion.
On the one hand, higher education is often seen as the most reliable route to career success. Universities and colleges provide students with in-depth knowledge, professional qualifications, and critical thinking skills that are difficult to gain elsewhere. Many well-paid and respected professions, such as medicine, engineering, and law, require formal degrees. In addition, higher education offers opportunities to build professional networks through classmates, lecturers, and internships, which can be valuable when seeking employment. Graduates may also enjoy better long-term career prospects, including higher salaries and greater chances of promotion, as employers often prefer candidates with academic credentials.
On the other hand, some people believe that entering the workforce straight after school is more beneficial. By starting work early, individuals can gain practical experience, develop job-specific skills, and earn money sooner. This path can be especially effective in industries such as sales, construction, entrepreneurship, or information technology, where hands-on experience is highly valued. Furthermore, avoiding university allows people to save money and avoid student debt, which can be a heavy financial burden. Early work experience can also help young people understand their strengths and interests more clearly, enabling them to progress faster in their chosen field.
In my opinion, the best choice depends on the individual’s career goals and personal circumstances. While university education is necessary for certain professions, it is not the only route to success. A balanced approach, such as combining education with part-time work or vocational training, may be the most effective solution.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay effectively discusses both views and gives a personal opinion, covering all parts of the task. Ideas are relevant and supported, though could be more developed with specific examples.
Examples
Mentions benefits of university education (e.g., professional qualifications, networking) and advantages of starting work early (e.g., practical experience, avoiding debt). Presents a balanced opinion in the conclusion.
How to Improve
Provide more concrete examples or data to illustrate points. Expand on the personal opinion with deeper reasoning or real-world scenarios to strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion7.5
Evaluation
The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing and effective use of cohesive devices. The flow from introduction to body paragraphs to conclusion is smooth.
Examples
Uses phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In my opinion' to guide the reader. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
How to Improve
Use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently,' 'nevertheless') to enhance cohesion. Develop the conclusion further to better summarize the discussion and reinforce the opinion.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, demonstrating a good range of lexical items without significant errors in word choice or collocation.
Examples
Terms like 'in-depth knowledge,' 'critical thinking skills,' 'professional networks,' 'hands-on experience,' 'student debt,' and 'vocational training' are used correctly.
How to Improve
Incorporate more advanced or less common vocabulary (e.g., 'expertise,' 'apprenticeships,' 'financial liabilities') to show greater lexical range. Use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., 'beneficial' instead of 'good').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7
Evaluation
Grammar is generally accurate with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Errors are minor and do not affect comprehension.
Examples
Complex sentence: 'While university education is necessary for certain professions, it is not the only route to success.' Accurate use of tenses, articles, and prepositions.
How to Improve
Experiment with more complex structures, such as conditional sentences (e.g., 'If one were to start working early, they might...') or passive voice, to demonstrate greater grammatical range. Proofread to eliminate minor errors like article usage.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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