Achieving a band 7 on the IELTS Writing Task 2, this essay discusses the freedom of university students in selecting subjects. While it adeptly presents both perspectives, areas for improvement include elaboration on the opposing view and vocabulary precision. Learn how to refine your skills for a better score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · University Students · 40 min
There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (337 words) and addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion. It is well-structured with logical progression, but the development of ideas, particularly for the opposing view, could be more detailed. Vocabulary and grammar are generally strong with minor areas for improvement.
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In contemporary society, the issue of whether university students should have the freedom to choose their own subjects has become increasingly contentious. While it is often asserted that students should be given a chance to decide for themselves, others maintain that they should be allowed to enrol in courses that will be demanding in the near and distant future. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my opinion that students should have the liberty to set their goals and decide for their lives ahead.
On the one hand, proponents of this view assert that a career should be a choice and not a compulsion. This is largely because every individual has unique interests and abilities, which can be used effectively to make a living. A clear illustration of this is that students who choose arts and humanities often have a higher motivation and excel in those areas than if they were forced to do subjects they do not enjoy. As a result, allowing freedom of choice can produce more competent and fulfilled graduates, which ultimately benefits society as a whole.
On the other hand, opponents claim that students should be guided towards subjects with clear practical value. This is largely because subjects like science, technology, engineering, and mathematics often lead to innovation and economic growth. For instance, in many countries, there is a shortage of skilled labourers in fields such as health care, information technology, and scientific research. Consequently, producing more graduates means filling in the gaps to enhance economic stability.
From my perspective, while it is essential to consider the value of science and technology, restricting students from making their own choices would cause consistent demotivation and a lack of effectiveness in the workforce. While national stability and economic growth are crucial, it should also foster creativity, critical thinking and personal development.
In conclusion, although directing students towards practical subjects may support economic needs, it is evident that allowing individuals to choose their own areas of study leads to better outcomes both personally and socially.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| have a higher motivation | have higher motivation | Article misuse: 'motivation' is an uncountable noun and does not require 'a' |
| excel in those areas than | excel more in those areas than | Comparison error: missing 'more' to indicate a higher degree of excellence in the comparison |
| it should also foster | society should also foster | Pronoun reference error: 'it' has no clear antecedent; specifying 'society' improves clarity |
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| make a living | earn a livelihood | Informal phrase; 'earn a livelihood' is more academic and precise |
| demanding | in demand | Vague word; 'in demand' clearly indicates future job market needs rather than personal challenge |
| filling in the gaps | addressing shortages | Idiomatic and informal; 'addressing shortages' is more formal and suitable for academic writing |
| labourers | professionals | Inappropriate term for skilled fields like health care and IT; 'professionals' is more accurate |
| consistent demotivation | persistent demotivation | Imprecise word choice; 'persistent' better conveys ongoing demotivation |
| a lack of effectiveness | ineffectiveness | Wordy phrase; 'ineffectiveness' is more concise and formal |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument and states a clear opinion. However, the discussion of the view supporting practical subjects is somewhat superficial and could benefit from deeper analysis.
Examples
The example of arts and humanities students having higher motivation is relevant, but the opposing view on science and technology lacks specific, elaborated examples beyond general statements about economic growth and labor shortages.
How to Improve
Expand on the opposing view by providing concrete examples of how practical subjects contribute to societal needs, and explore potential counterarguments to strengthen the analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion7.5
Evaluation
The essay is coherent with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, a separate opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas.
Examples
Phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'From my perspective,' and 'In conclusion' provide clear signposting. Paragraphs are logically organized.
How to Improve
To enhance flow, ensure smoother transitions between sentences within paragraphs and avoid overusing certain cohesive phrases.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
There is a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated terms, though occasional phrases are slightly informal or awkward.
Examples
Words like 'contentious,' 'proponents,' 'opponents,' 'innovation,' and 'economic stability' demonstrate lexical variety. However, 'demanding in the near and distant future' is imprecise, and 'filling in the gaps' is informal.
How to Improve
Use more academic and precise vocabulary; for instance, replace 'demanding' with 'in demand' or 'valuable,' and avoid colloquial expressions.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7.5
Evaluation
The essay displays a variety of complex sentence structures with generally high accuracy. Minor errors are present but do not impede understanding.
Examples
Complex sentences such as 'While it is often asserted that students should be given a chance to decide for themselves, others maintain that...' are used correctly. However, there are minor issues like 'to make a living' (which is acceptable but could be more formal) and article usage in 'a career should be a choice.'
How to Improve
Focus on consistent article usage and refine prepositional phrases. Aim for more formal constructions in places, e.g., 'to earn a livelihood' instead of 'to make a living.'
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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