Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Violence in Media -- Grammar & Clarity Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

Movies and television shows have become the standard of modern entertainment in recent times, and is slowly becoming the pinacle of entertainment popular amonst people of all ages. It can however also be noticed that with certain genres like horror, sci-fi or even fantasy, there is slowly an increase in the amount of violence thats being portrayed.

Some people belive that this increase in violence can influence the behgavior of young people which can cause an increase in the level of violence in the scociety. This can be true to some extent, this is because when people are exposed to genres like these it can subconciously alter their sense of morality which can be concerning. Their tolerance towards violence can also increase as subjects like gore when viewed often can harden their heart. This may initially result in them acrting out harshly when faced with real life scenarios. The affects can be first quite minute, like for example being annoyed at the smallest things, or lashing out at a fellow co worker. But the extent to which they would cause actual harm or crimes in scociety is often slim, but its never zero.

However in my opinion, the relevance of age ratings on certain movies can come into play as these show that the content being showed is intended for a certain mature audience. A person only gets influenced if their young or morally confused. Most of the times young people tend to take these age ratings very unseriously which is why they can get influenced. Thus its important that the relevance of the age rating on entertainment media is being endorsed and considered. This is the responsibility of the parents and this can help greatly. Other steps that can be taken is that the goverment interferes and perhaps taxes entertainment industries that propose violent ideas or graphic scenes so young peoples minds are not polluted. Education should also be taken seriosuly as this allows a person to differentiate between the right and the wrong and helps them to understand the concept of morality, hence this is how violence can be reduced.

     Today, violence remains a critical issue affecting countless individuals. While some argue that exposure to violent content in television and movies directly influences young people, leading to increased aggression, others contend that various social factors, such as family environment, education, and culture, play a more significant role. Personally, I argue that media violence is not the primary cause of societal violence and that alternative measures should be taken to address this issue effectively.

      To begin with, no definitive evidence proves that violent media directly leads to aggressive behavior. Numerous studies have demonstrated that there is no causal link between watching violent content and committing violent acts. On the contrary, some researchers suggest that consuming such media can have a cathartic effect, allowing individuals to release frustration in a non-harmful manner. Violence stems from deeper societal issues, including poverty, inequality, discrimination, and abuse. These conditions often provoke feelings of anger and frustration, pushing individuals toward violent behaviors as a means of coping or expressing their emotions.

      Therefore, I think that reducing violence requires more than restricting media content. A more effective approach includes expanding educational and employment opportunities to provide stability and direction for young individuals. Additionally, integrating conflict resolution and negotiation skills into educational programs can foster peaceful interactions. Encouraging participation in constructive activities, such as sports, arts, and volunteer work, also promotes positive social engagement and deters involvement in violence.

      In conclusion, I believe that blaming media violence for societal aggression overlooks the deeper causes of violence. Rather than restricting content, addressing social and economic inequalities can lead to meaningful change. By implementing proactive solutions, we can cultivate a safer and more harmonious society for future generations.