This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the influence of violence in media on youth behavior. While it addresses the task, the writing lacks clarity and contains numerous grammatical errors. By examining these issues, you can improve your own responses for better performance in the IELTS exam.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Two-part Question · Violence · 40 min
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and organization. There are numerous grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. The argument is developed but not very systematically. Some complex ideas are attempted, but the vocabulary is limited and errors are frequent.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Violence essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
At present, most of the young generation are fond of watching movies and other broadacasted series on television which has huge impacts on them. I do agree that such activities has influenced the behavioual change among the youths. The violence shown on movies are affecting the youngesters.
The advanement of technology has adeversly affected the youth. Differernt sorts of violence movies have disturbed their study too. Most of them carricatures the fictional charcters and adopt in thier daily life. Many college going students are influenced by the ghost charcters. The recent college survyed done by one of our proffessor showed that young generations were most likely to follow negative charcater of movies and as as result they are moving in wrong direction. The failure in exam and couldnot complete their assignments were some of them. Likewise, the domestic violence shown in movies, has such impacts that they tries same thing in the family. Children are becoming so stubborn to follow the same character with same dress worn. One of the most shocking problems increased in our society is kidnapping. Last week, one of the reputed business man's son was kidnapped by the gangesters. Later on, after the 1 month inquiry, we came to know those kidnapper were of 20s age. They were influned by the activity from the movies as there was shown this work as part of earning.
Thus, because of negative influence our society is facing such kinda problems. It is utmost to solve such problems. The concerned bodies must take concern regarding these activity. The movies with negative charcaters must be categorized in terms of age group. Youth should be make invloved in social work apart from their academic.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
18 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| broadacasted | broadcasted |
| behavioual | behavioral |
| youngesters | youngsters |
| advanement | advancement |
| adeversly | adversely |
| Differernt | Different |
| carricatures | caricatures |
| thier | their |
| charcters | characters |
| survyed | survey |
| proffessor | professor |
| charcater | character |
| couldnot | could not |
| gangesters | gangsters |
| kidnapper | kidnappers |
| influned | influenced |
| charcats | characters |
| invloved | involved |
Grammatical Mistakes
9 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| most of the young generation are | most of the young generation is | Subject-verb agreement: 'generation' is singular and requires 'is' |
| has huge impacts | have huge impacts | Subject-verb agreement: 'activities' (plural) require 'have' |
| the youngesters | youngsters | Incorrect article usage: 'the' unnecessary with general plural nouns |
| violence shown on movies | violence shown in movies | Preposition use: 'in' is correct when referring to content within movies |
| Different sorts of violence movies | Different sorts of violent movies | Incorrect adjective form: 'violent' is the correct form to describe movies |
| as as result | as a result | Redundant repetition: 'as a result' is the correct expression |
| they tries | they try | Subject-verb agreement: 'they' (plural) requires 'try' |
| concerned bodies must take concern regarding these activity | concerned bodies must take action regarding these activities | Wrong collocation and subject-verb agreement: 'action' fits with 'take' and 'activities' is plural |
| Youth should be make involved | Youth should be made involved | Passive voice correction required: 'be made' is the correct passive form |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| kinda | kind of | Informal usage: 'kind of' is more appropriate in academic context |
| utmost | essential | In context, 'essential' more accurately conveys the necessity of solving problems |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Violence essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses both parts of the task: agreeing with the statement and suggesting steps to reduce violence. However, the argument and examples lack depth.
Examples
Mentions of a college survey and examples like kidnapping are present, but they are not fully developed.
How to Improve
Provide more comprehensive explanations and evidence for your points. Ensure that both parts of the question are equally addressed.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay features a basic structure but lacks cohesion. Ideas are not always logically sequenced, and paragraphing is inconsistent.
Examples
The transition from the impact on college students to kidnapping is abrupt.
How to Improve
Work on connecting your ideas more logically, using connectors and clear paragraphing to guide the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is limited and includes several spelling mistakes. Some attempts at less common vocabulary are present but used inaccurately.
Examples
Spelling errors like 'charcters', 'kidnapper', 'proffessor'.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by reading and practicing written English, and proofread your work to correct spelling errors.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that hinder meaning. Sentence structures are simple and often incorrect.
Examples
Errors include 'most of the young generation are', 'movies are affecting', 'different sorts of violence movies'.
How to Improve
Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar through targeted practice and feedback from proficient speakers or teachers.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
I diagree with this statement.
Movies and television are a form of media that are consumed by an audience. Movies are, in a sense, a form of art that allow ex...
02
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Many people believe that the increasing amount of violence shown on television and in films has a negative influence on young people and contributes to higher l...
03
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
It is considered that violence depicted in movies and on television influences the thinking and behavior of youth, ultimately raising concerns about their ment...
04
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
I partly agree that violent content on television and movies can influences the behavior of young people. The reason is because if there's no limits from their ...
05
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
The relationship between media violence and real-world aggression among youth is a subject of intense debate. While some argue that screen violence directly cor...