Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2: Violence in Society and Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

It is said that alot of people agree to the fact that the violence seen on the television and in the movies affects the behaviour of the young people and has greatly affected and incresed the level of violence in the society. I agree to some extent but that's not the only cause of violence in our society.
One reason why i agree with the point is that the youth are prone to be influenced in such a way that they practice and emmulate everything they see around them on the television and on social space. For example they watch a movie where the male lead assaults the female lead almost through out the movie they will automatically think its fun and cool to assault a female as far as she is with them. And also the female also are influenced from thus also.
However, media is not the only factor to violence in the society. The family and environment are also one of the factors that influence the young people. when a child grows up in a family where the father and mother are agressive in nature it reflect on the child growing up, the child will thing its natural to be very aggressive to people.
To prevent or reduce the level of violence in the society the Government needs to regulate the social media space by letting the owners of application to verify the age of users before allowing access. And also parent needs to be careful and watchful of how they act in front of thier children at home and always communicate with children and advice them about how to live life to without violence or crime.
In conclusion, i agree with the view that the violence young people sees on the television and movies influence thier behaviour and it raises the level of violence in our society. But not just the social influence the society and family also affect there upbringing.

  Today, violence remains a critical issue affecting countless individuals. While some argue that exposure to violent content in television and movies directly influences young people, leading to increased aggression, others contend that various social factors, such as family environment, education, and culture, play a more significant role. Personally, I argue that media violence is not the primary cause of societal violence and that alternative measures should be taken to address this issue effectively.

       To begin with, no definitive evidence proves that violent media directly leads to aggressive behavior. Numerous studies have demonstrated that there is no causal link between watching violent content and committing violent acts. On the contrary, some researchers suggest that consuming such media can have a cathartic effect, allowing individuals to release frustration in a non-harmful manner. Violence stems from deeper societal issues, including poverty, inequality, discrimination, and abuse. These conditions often provoke feelings of anger and frustration, pushing individuals toward violent behaviors as a means of coping or expressing their emotions.

       Therefore, I think that reducing violence requires more than restricting media content. A more effective approach includes expanding educational and employment opportunities to provide stability and direction for young individuals. Additionally, integrating conflict resolution and negotiation skills into educational programs can foster peaceful interactions. Encouraging participation in constructive activities, such as sports, arts, and volunteer work, also promotes positive social engagement and deters involvement in violence.

       In conclusion, I believe that blaming media violence for societal aggression overlooks the deeper causes of violence. Rather than restricting content, addressing social and economic inequalities can lead to meaningful change. By implementing proactive solutions, we can cultivate a safer and more harmonious society for future generations.