Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Violence in Media: Grammar and Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

Obviously, we all observe that the quantity of violence has increased in our society. This is because of a lot of reasons, but I totally agree that the main reason is the increasing quantity of violence seen on television and in movies. It is well known that stars in all fields especially in the field os films and sports are the role models for our youth these days therefore their influence is very obvious and clear. Youth try to imitate their role models and they sometimes think that being violent and agressive towards others is the best wasy to seem a chero and a strong person. A lot of movies ignore the role of laws and governments and try to restore and regain their rights by force. This trend is spreading in all the world so it is a real phenomenon and we should work hand in hand to face it before ruining our societies. Morals depend on respect and are built on following laws. In my point of view, this dangerous phenomenon should be restricted firlmy. I have some steps we can follow to stop this violence. Firstly, we should increase the public awareness of its bad destructive influences by all means whether seen or heard and at schools. Secondly, we should set some measures to review these violent movies and stop and ban any harmful ones. Thirdly, we should fine people who make these movies. There should be an important role for teachers, parents and priests. All the society should co-operate to face this destructive phenomenon as soon as possible.

  Today, violence remains a critical issue affecting countless individuals. While some argue that exposure to violent content in television and movies directly influences young people, leading to increased aggression, others contend that various social factors, such as family environment, education, and culture, play a more significant role. Personally, I argue that media violence is not the primary cause of societal violence and that alternative measures should be taken to address this issue effectively.

       To begin with, no definitive evidence proves that violent media directly leads to aggressive behavior. Numerous studies have demonstrated that there is no causal link between watching violent content and committing violent acts. On the contrary, some researchers suggest that consuming such media can have a cathartic effect, allowing individuals to release frustration in a non-harmful manner. Violence stems from deeper societal issues, including poverty, inequality, discrimination, and abuse. These conditions often provoke feelings of anger and frustration, pushing individuals toward violent behaviors as a means of coping or expressing their emotions.

       Therefore, I think that reducing violence requires more than restricting media content. A more effective approach includes expanding educational and employment opportunities to provide stability and direction for young individuals. Additionally, integrating conflict resolution and negotiation skills into educational programs can foster peaceful interactions. Encouraging participation in constructive activities, such as sports, arts, and volunteer work, also promotes positive social engagement and deters involvement in violence.

       In conclusion, I believe that blaming media violence for societal aggression overlooks the deeper causes of violence. Rather than restricting content, addressing social and economic inequalities can lead to meaningful change. By implementing proactive solutions, we can cultivate a safer and more harmonious society for future generations.