Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Media Violence Essay: Lacks Clear Position
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Feb 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ Β· Band 5
✏️ Start Writing for Free
This Band 5 IELTS essay addresses media violence but lacks a clear position on agreement or disagreement. It features underdeveloped arguments and frequent language errors, making clarity a significant issue. Discover how to improve your writing with focused feedback.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Two-part Question Β· Violence Β· 40 min


Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence?

Write at least 250 words.


5 Band

Overall Band Score

Two-part Question Β· AI Evaluated

5
Task Response
5
Coherence
4.5
Lexical Resource
4.5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
4.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5

Summary: The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear position on the extent of agreement or disagreement. Arguments are underdeveloped, relying on personal anecdotes rather than broader evidence. Steps to reduce violence are mentioned but not elaborated. Language errors are frequent, affecting clarity. The word count is sufficient (approximately 300 words vs. required 250), so no penalty applied.

Now write your own β€” and see how your verdict holds up.

Submit your Violence essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β€” plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.

Student Answer
Real submission β€’ β€’ Annotated
0 words Band 5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

In this modern era, many people believe that the huge amount of violence seen on several screen like on television and in movies which badly influences to young youths and to their behaviours. As a results, it slowly increases the level of violence in our community and nations as well. I will discuss in detail about violence and its major steps to control and additionally i will draw my opinion regarding this.

In present days, numerious people follow social media to receive information and knowledge. Similarly, people interested to spend their time on screen such as television and movies as well. Large number of young youths believe those visuals are real and however try to addopts all those in their own life to experience in real. As a result it harms and damages their future. To illustrates, my younger brother jumped from toproof of the house because he watched a spiderman movie 2 days age and he also wants to be Superman" title="Correction: Superman">a superman. As a result he tried and got serious injured.

To decrease the number of violence, the flim maker should raise awareness about the effect of it. They should reduce the number of these types of flims and should rise the level of flims which helps to motivate every individuals.The admistrations should take actions strictly. So that people affraid before they try to take any kinds of violence. For example, once my neighbourhood uncle was trying to beat his wife after he got drunk. His daugher called the cops and they punished him by keeping him more 2 days. So he got the his lession and he always avoids alchohal.

As far as I am concerned, the movies where violence is promoted or prioritized should be band.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

13 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
numerious numerous
addopts adopt
toproof rooftop
spiderman Spider-Man
age ago
superman Superman
flim film
admistrations administrations
affraid afraid
daugher daughter
lession lesson
alchohal alcohol
band banned

Grammatical Mistakes

24 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
a results a result Article misuse: 'result' should be singular after 'a'
discuss in detail about discuss in detail Redundant preposition: 'discuss' does not require 'about'
i will I will Pronoun should be capitalized
people interested to spend people are interested in spending Verb form: 'interested in' followed by gerund
Large number of A large number of Missing article: 'a' is needed before 'large number'
and however try to and they try to Conjunction error: 'however' should be used with proper punctuation
to experience in real to experience in reality Incorrect phrase: 'real' is an adjective; use 'reality' or 'real life'
As a result it harms As a result, it harms Missing comma after introductory phrase
To illustrates To illustrate Infinitive form: 'to illustrate' is correct
jumped from toproof jumped from the rooftop Incorrect word: 'toproof' should be 'rooftop'
2 days age 2 days ago Incorrect word: 'age' should be 'ago' for past time
a superman Superman Article misuse: 'Superman' is a proper noun and does not require an article
got serious injured got seriously injured Adverb form: 'seriously' should modify 'injured'
number of violence level of violence Countability error: 'violence' is uncountable, use 'level' instead of 'number'
the flim maker film makers Spelling and plural: 'film' is correct, and 'makers' should be plural
effect of it its effects Possessive and plural: use 'its' for possession and 'effects' for multiple impacts
should rise the level should raise the level Verb choice: 'raise' is transitive, 'rise' is intransitive
every individuals every individual Singular/plural agreement: 'every' is singular
take actions strictly take strict actions Word order: adjective 'strict' should precede noun 'actions'
people affraid people are afraid Missing verb: 'afraid' is an adjective, need 'are'
take any kinds of violence commit any kind of violence Collocation error: 'commit violence' is standard
keeping him more 2 days keeping him for 2 more days Preposition and word order: 'for' is needed, and 'more' should come after the number
got the his lession learned his lesson Idiomatic expression: 'learned his lesson' is correct
should be band should be banned Verb form: 'banned' is the past participle meaning prohibited

Vocabulary Improvements

5 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
young youths youths Redundant: 'youths' already implies young age
badly influences negatively influences Informal: 'negatively' is more precise and academic
draw my opinion state my opinion Not idiomatic: 'state' is appropriate for expressing opinion
cops police Informal: 'police' is the formal term for law enforcement
take any kinds of violence engage in any form of violence Incorrect collocation: 'engage in violence' is standard

Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.

Submit your Violence essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β€” with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.

Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 5
Evaluation
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the influence of media violence and suggesting steps to reduce it. However, the position on agreement/disagreement is not explicitly stated, and arguments are underdeveloped with weak examples.
Examples
The introduction paraphrases the question but does not clearly state the writer's stance. The example of a brother jumping off a roof after watching Spider-Man is personal and not effectively linked to societal violence. Steps like film makers raising awareness are mentioned but not explained in depth.
How to Improve
Clearly state your agreement or disagreement in the introduction. Develop arguments with relevant, general examples (e.g., citing studies on media effects). Elaborate on suggested steps with specific details and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion 5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but ideas are not logically sequenced, and cohesion is weakened by poor transitions and paragraph development.
Examples
The shift from discussing social media to television in the first body paragraph is abrupt. The conclusion is overly brief and does not summarize key points. Linking words are minimal, and some sentences are disjointed (e.g., 'To illustrates...').
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to introduce paragraph main ideas. Employ linking words (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however') to connect sentences and paragraphs. Plan the essay structure to ensure a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.
Lexical Resource 4.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, with frequent spelling errors and inappropriate word choices, which hinder communication.
Examples
Misspellings: 'flim' for 'film,' 'admistration' for 'administration,' 'affraid' for 'afraid,' 'alchohal' for 'alcohol.' Redundant phrases like 'young youths' and incorrect usage such as 'influences to' instead of 'influences.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts and practicing topic-related words. Use a dictionary to check spellings and meanings. Avoid repetition by using synonyms (e.g., 'adolescents' instead of 'young youths').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 4.5
Evaluation
Grammar is weak with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tenses, articles, and punctuation. Sentences are mostly simple, with limited complex structures.
Examples
Errors: 'As a results' (should be 'As a result'), 'people interested to spend' (should be 'people are interested in spending'), 'got serious injured' (should be 'got seriously injured'), 'band' (should be 'banned'). Punctuation issues like missing spaces after periods.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, articles, and tense consistency. Practice writing compound and complex sentences. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
πŸ’‘
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

RELATED ESSAYS

02
Violence πŸ“ 320 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Many people believe that the increasing amount of violence shown on television and in films has a negative influence on young people and contributes to higher l...
03
Violence πŸ“ 330 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
The relationship between media violence and real-world aggression among youth is a subject of intense debate. While some argue that screen violence directly cor...
04
Violence πŸ“ 348 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Many people believe that the amount of violence seen on TV and in films can influence the behaviour of the youngest, and therefore raise the violence levels in ...
05
Violence πŸ“ 324 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
The extent to which television violence has become a pressing concern has sparked considerable debate in contemporary society. While some maintain that the vio...
06
Violence πŸ“ 352 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Movies and television shows have become the standard of modern entertainment in recent times, and is slowly becoming the pinacle of entertainment popular amonst...