Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Violence Influence: Development Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Apr 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 263 words Β· Band 5
✏️ Start Writing for Free
This essay received a Band 5 score for its discussion on the influence of violence in media on youth behavior. The main feedback indicates that it lacked depth and had repetitive ideas, which affected overall clarity and cohesion. To improve, students should focus on elaborating points with specific examples and enhancing the logical flow of their arguments.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Two-part Question Β· Violence Β· 40 min


Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence?

Write at least 250 words.


5 Band

Overall Band Score

263 words · Two-part Question Β· AI Evaluated

5.5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5

Summary: The essay addresses the topic and meets the word count requirement (263 words). However, it lacks depth in development, with repetitive ideas and limited elaboration. The structure is basic but disjointed, vocabulary is simple and repetitive, and there are grammatical errors that affect clarity. Overall, it demonstrates a limited response to the task.

Now write your own β€” and see how your verdict holds up.

Submit your Violence essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β€” plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.

Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 263 words β€’ Annotated
263 words Band 5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

It is a common opinion among people that young people, when they see violence on television and in films, are influenced. As a result, it increases the level of violence in our society.
I agree with the statement mentioned above. It has many harmful effects on our society. To lessen the violence, there are some steps, that could be taken.
In the present time, television is everywhere. Everyone watches movies and spends most of their time on television and on social media. So watching movies full of violence and tragedy can affect the behaviour of an individual. Due to this, society is also affected.
In my opinion, television has many effects on people. Watching violence on TV affects the behaviour of people. It has many harmful effects. Firstly, it can affect the mental health of people. People start hitting or beating each other. It can even cause death.Victims suffer a lot. Another effect of violence is on children. When someone starts fighting in front of children, this can affect the child. The child starts thinking that fighting is a good thing. When they become young, they start the same behaviour. They started violence, and this affected the whole society
There are some measures that should be taken to lessen violence. Teaching people about respect, sympathy, and spreading awareness through different campaigns. The government should enact strict laws against violence and impose punishment to people doing violence. Finally madia should avoid promoting violence and spread positive messages.
In conclusion, these steps should taken to lessen violence and movies which influence violence should be banned.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

1 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
madia media

Grammatical Mistakes

7 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
steps, that could be taken steps that could be taken Unnecessary comma before 'that'
death.Victims death. Victims Missing space after period
When they become young When they grow up Awkward phrasing; 'grow up' is more natural
They started violence, and this affected the whole society They start violence, and this affects the whole society Tense inconsistency; should use present tense for general statements
Teaching people about respect, sympathy, and spreading awareness through different campaigns. Measures include teaching people about respect, empathy, and raising awareness through campaigns. Sentence fragment; needs to be part of a complete sentence
impose punishment to people doing violence impose punishment on people who commit violent acts Preposition error; 'on' is used with 'impose punishment', and 'doing violence' is informal
these steps should taken these steps should be taken Missing auxiliary verb 'be'

Vocabulary Improvements

10 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
common opinion among people a common belief Redundant; 'among people' is unnecessary
lessen the violence reduce violence 'Reduce' is more commonly used in formal contexts
In the present time Nowadays Informal and wordy; more concise alternative
television is everywhere television is ubiquitous Informal; 'ubiquitous' is more academic
hitting or beating each other engaging in physical violence Informal; more formal phrasing is appropriate for academic writing
cause death result in fatalities More precise and formal
Victims suffer a lot. Victims experience significant harm. Vague; 'a lot' is informal and imprecise
doing violence committing violent acts Informal and incorrect collocation; 'commit' is used with 'acts'
spread positive messages disseminate positive messages 'Disseminate' is more formal than 'spread'
movies which influence violence movies that glorify violence 'Influence violence' is vague; 'glorify violence' is more precise

Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.

Submit your Violence essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β€” with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.

Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 5.5
Evaluation
The writer addresses both parts of the question by agreeing and suggesting steps, but the position is not fully developed. Arguments are presented superficially without detailed examples or evidence.
Examples
For instance, the essay states 'It has many harmful effects' multiple times without explaining specific effects. Steps like 'Teaching people about respect' are mentioned but not elaborated.
How to Improve
Develop each point with specific examples, such as citing studies on media violence or detailing how campaigns could work. Ensure a clear, balanced argument that explores both agreement and potential counterpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion 5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but the flow is uneven. Ideas are repetitive, and paragraph links are weak, reducing overall progression.
Examples
Paragraphs jump from general statements about television to effects on children without smooth transitions. Phrases like 'In my opinion' are used but do not connect ideas effectively.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'however') to link sentences and paragraphs. Organize ideas logically, such as grouping all effects in one paragraph and steps in another, with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with errors in word choice and spelling. The range is minimal, making the essay monotonous and imprecise.
Examples
Words like 'violence', 'affect', and 'effects' are overused. Spelling errors include 'madia' for 'media'. Simple phrases like 'suffer a lot' lack sophistication.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by using synonyms (e.g., 'aggression' instead of 'violence', 'impact' instead of 'affect'). Practice spelling and incorporate more varied academic terms related to society and media.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 5
Evaluation
Sentence structures are mostly simple, with frequent grammatical errors that hinder readability. Attempts at complex sentences are inaccurate.
Examples
Errors include missing words ('these steps should taken' should be 'should be taken'), incorrect comma usage ('steps, that could be taken'), and fragment sentences ('Victims suffer a lot.').
How to Improve
Practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., conditional, relative clauses). Review grammar rules for articles, verb tenses, and prepositions. Proofread to correct errors like subject-verb agreement and punctuation.
πŸ’‘
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

RELATED ESSAYS

02
Violence πŸ“ 320 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Many people believe that the increasing amount of violence shown on television and in films has a negative influence on young people and contributes to higher l...
03
Violence πŸ“ 330 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
The relationship between media violence and real-world aggression among youth is a subject of intense debate. While some argue that screen violence directly cor...
04
Violence πŸ“ 348 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Many people believe that the amount of violence seen on TV and in films can influence the behaviour of the youngest, and therefore raise the violence levels in ...
05
Violence πŸ“ 324 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
The extent to which television violence has become a pressing concern has sparked considerable debate in contemporary society. While some maintain that the vio...
06
Violence πŸ“ 352 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Numerous people think that the quantity of violence seen on television and in movies influences the behaviour of our young people and, as a result, raises the level of violence in our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What steps may be taken in the present to lessen violence? Write at least 250 words.
Movies and television shows have become the standard of modern entertainment in recent times, and is slowly becoming the pinacle of entertainment popular amonst...