Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2: Violence's Influence on Youth and Coherence Problems
Sample Answer with Feedback

In recent years the increase of voilence has been seen in all regions of the world without discrimination according to several psychologicist that have postulated that this might be due to the increase in violence seen at a young age in the media. I do agree to some extent to this statement as children have been known to be quite impressionable and if exposed to violence at young age most will gravitate to said behaviors thinking this is the norm for society. I also believe the media portrays violence as being 'cool, for the younger geneation often dressing it in several layes of "glitter nd glamor" bad behavior" title="Correction: leading to the interpretation that if you want to be viewed as 'cool,' then you also have to engage in bad behavior">leaving for the interpritaion that if you want to be viewed as 'cool' then you also have to be bad.
A point to my stance is with the newfound populatity of action movies and violece of gang related series petty crimes" title="Correction: a rise can also be seen in the number of petty crimes">a rice can also be seen in the amount of petty crimes anlong with arrest records or several young people. If you woul;d like to also take a deeper dive with me it can also be seen that there as also been a increase in the amount of juvenile arrest long with a decrease in the age group of said individuals. In recent time countries like the Untied States has seen an increase in petty crime in the 14 to 16 age range and when psychologist spoke to several of these young individuals it can be seen that get away with these crimes on television" title="Correction: several tried because of something they saw and how easy it seemed to get away with these crimes on television">several tried because of something they saw and how easy it seemed to be to get away with these crimeson the television. several were seen to have an idolic worship in a sense to several characters depicted.
I believe hat several spets should be taken firstly in the household by installing sevreal child proective locks on all devices in the household along with proper education about violence and the concequences of our actions along with the realization of what is riction entirley for entertainment and what is considred to be proper behavioral practises acceptable by society.
In closing I believe that the quality of violence see on televisions and in movies does influence the behavior of our young people and as a resultthere has been a markjed raise in the level of violence seen in our society today and I do believe sevearal steps can be taken to improve of the outlook for our young people.

     Today, violence remains a critical issue affecting countless individuals. While some argue that exposure to violent content in television and movies directly influences young people, leading to increased aggression, others contend that various social factors, such as family environment, education, and culture, play a more significant role. Personally, I argue that media violence is not the primary cause of societal violence and that alternative measures should be taken to address this issue effectively.

      To begin with, no definitive evidence proves that violent media directly leads to aggressive behavior. Numerous studies have demonstrated that there is no causal link between watching violent content and committing violent acts. On the contrary, some researchers suggest that consuming such media can have a cathartic effect, allowing individuals to release frustration in a non-harmful manner. Violence stems from deeper societal issues, including poverty, inequality, discrimination, and abuse. These conditions often provoke feelings of anger and frustration, pushing individuals toward violent behaviors as a means of coping or expressing their emotions.

      Therefore, I think that reducing violence requires more than restricting media content. A more effective approach includes expanding educational and employment opportunities to provide stability and direction for young individuals. Additionally, integrating conflict resolution and negotiation skills into educational programs can foster peaceful interactions. Encouraging participation in constructive activities, such as sports, arts, and volunteer work, also promotes positive social engagement and deters involvement in violence.

      In conclusion, I believe that blaming media violence for societal aggression overlooks the deeper causes of violence. Rather than restricting content, addressing social and economic inequalities can lead to meaningful change. By implementing proactive solutions, we can cultivate a safer and more harmonious society for future generations.